[lilbelle]

So I had blocked and deleted number but not the texts he had sent. So I still get this feeling (hope) that he didn't want things to end like that. I know he is with her right now. Maybe he is trying to decide what he wants hell I don't know. So I unblocked his number and forwarded it to him. Someone help me I am breaking up here.I hate him then love him. It feels bipolar or something just freaking crazy. I just want him to try and contact me I guess. And why???? So I can go back to day 1 again like I did last night? I have decided I don't want to ever drink again. Drinking ruined a whole week of healing for me. No more alcohol at all. Makes me do stupid ****. I just want to scream

[GrayClouds]

Originally Posted by lilbelle

So I had blocked and deleted number but not the texts he had sent. So I still get this feeling (hope) that he didn't want things to end like that. I know he is with her right now. Maybe he is trying to decide what he wants hell I don't know. So I unblocked his number and forwarded it to him. Someone help me I am breaking up here.I hate him then love him. It feels bipolar or something just freaking crazy. I just want him to try and contact me I guess. And why???? So I can go back to day 1 again like I did last night? I have decided I don't want to ever drink again. Drinking ruined a whole week of healing for me. No more alcohol at all. Makes me do stupid ****. I just want to scream

Lilbelle, be kind to yourself, it is really really fresh for you. what your feeling is normal and shared by ever one here. It may not seem like it but your doing ok. Keep posting, let the crazy out, it helps.

Yes drinking messes things up right now, your wise to stay away from it. That decision already shows you that your taking care of yourself. I suggested go for a long hard walk, that will help too. And when your done, go for another, physically get yourself tired, the endorphins are our friends. They keep the insanity at bay.

Look back at that week, the good news you can see you where healing so you know it will work again. Yes it sucks that your back to this place but a week ago you did not know there was a better place. Good news, now you do and your already getting back there. Your doing fine and going to be ok.

PS SCREAM is you want and go ahead and beat the snot out of your pillow.