[aloneatnights]

hi guys,i really need this spelling out, no holds barred time. been seeing a lovely guy for 6 months or so. met for sex which was good and always has been, which was fine to start with.
then he asked to be exclusive which we have been. then said he wanted to see me more which hasn't really happened.
he works a lot both weekdays and weekends which is his business and i'm not interfering with that.
anyway he is seperated but not divorced, lives an hour about away from me and always come down this way. i do not accomodate him at my place as it is not convenient which he knows although he has met my kids briefly, even coming with me to pick them up at school, at his suggestion.
the thing which is really bugging me is he has not invited me to his place to stay which would cut out the hotel bill and expenses.
he calls and texts any time of day and night
the issue with me is because he works all the time, i meet him when he wants to, although recently i have been doing my own thing and not being as available as i was. not playing games, just re introducing my own interests back into my life.
he did tell me he had been hurt in the past and is taking things very cautiously but i feel it is time to move up a gear or quit the relationship.
i don't love him because i feel there is nothing to go on at the moment but i do like him a lot.
he told me i had 'potential' which irked me no end as i am not the sort of person to hang around waiting, nor am i clingy.
so... what do you guys think? cut my losses or stick with it?

[Mary3]

I want you to go the mirror and slap yourself upside your head for allowing yourself to be used like this.

Of course you can't come over his house. He is likely sleeping with others , he may likely be also carrying on with the lady he is seperated with.

He does ALL of this because you ALLOW it.

Show some self respect and never allow a man to use you sexually again.

[Odyssey]

You did asked for no holds barred...

FWB!? Exclusivity bs?!? Seems to me, he's getting most of the benefits (everything on his terms). End this craziness right now and find a real relationship that you deserve. Truth is fwb never ever works out. You can do better.

[ADF]

Originally Posted by aloneatnights

hi guys,i really need this spelling out, no holds barred time. been seeing a lovely guy for 6 months or so. met for sex which was good and always has been, which was fine to start with.
then he asked to be exclusive which we have been. then said he wanted to see me more which hasn't really happened.
he works a lot both weekdays and weekends which is his business and i'm not interfering with that.
anyway he is seperated but not divorced, lives an hour about away from me and always come down this way. i do not accomodate him at my place as it is not convenient which he knows although he has met my kids briefly, even coming with me to pick them up at school, at his suggestion.
the thing which is really bugging me is he has not invited me to his place to stay which would cut out the hotel bill and expenses.
he calls and texts any time of day and night
the issue with me is because he works all the time, i meet him when he wants to, although recently i have been doing my own thing and not being as available as i was. not playing games, just re introducing my own interests back into my life.
he did tell me he had been hurt in the past and is taking things very cautiously but i feel it is time to move up a gear or quit the relationship.
i don't love him because i feel there is nothing to go on at the moment but i do like him a lot.
he told me i had 'potential' which irked me no end as i am not the sort of person to hang around waiting, nor am i clingy.
so... what do you guys think? cut my losses or stick with it?

OP, keep in mind that for many men, a committed, serious relationship is NOT the most desirable situation. For many men, FWB is the most desirable situation. A man in a FWB relationships get all the sex he wants, but without strings. What man is gonna want to change that? I don't know your friend; maybe he is an exception. But in general, a guy in a FWB situation will end the relationship if his partner starts getting too serious. Once you are in a FWB situation, that is usually as far as it will go.