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It Gets Better!


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

Old 6th November 2009, 5:21 AM   #1
lizzylizliz
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It Gets Better!

Hi guys,

Some of you may remember me, I was posting on here a few months ago about coping with the split from my ex, a habitual drug abuser who was emotionally cruel, and whom I felt almost destroyed the person I am with his behaviour.

I'm posting to try and give all of you hope really...it's been more than four months on, and I've found a lovely, loving kind guy who I have a lot more on common with than the ex. He takes me out, makes me feel beautiful with the things he says and does, and has been the reason for me waking up with a big smile on my face rather than the haunting memories of what used to be.

So i guess what I'm trying to say is...IT GETS BETTER. I thought the pain would never end....it did. I had all the usual thoughts of suicide, feeling empty and dead, and emotionally battered....but I began to heal. It took time, and I still have issues, but I'm in a much more balanced place than I ever was with him, let alone without him. So please, don't give up hope. I used to sit alone and wonder if I'd ever get over it, I thought I was trapped in a dark place I could never escape.....but I did. And you will too! It happens when you least expect it, when you stop looking, when you wake up one day and just realise 'hey,he/she is NOT worth my feeling like this, they really wasn't that special, and in fact, they are a plague that someone else is more than welcome to'.

Don't give up. Don't ever give up. Venting on here was one of my saving graces, and I used to wonder if anyone ever got better, if anyone ever had a success story that could inspire me. Then, that person became me. So please, just keep busy, do the crazy things you never did before, even if it's just something silly like taking a walk in the rain to remind yourself you're still alive, and not some emotionally dead andriod that is incapable of thinking or feeling anymore. Don't give up. Hope is all we have, and I hope you all meet someone soon. I'll probably be back here venting again soon, as nothing is perfect, and everyone is flawed....but if I can make it, and forget the pain as I have...so can every single one of you!!!! Best of luck, peace out xxxxx
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Old 6th November 2009, 10:33 AM   #2
rickigal
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Thank you for your story of hope. I have been obsessed with thoughts of the ex for over a month now. I have been through this before as many of us have and I know in my mind that it will get better with time.

I posted on several threads about my story and the replies really helped me start moving on and coping better. You are right, someone who doesn't love me like I love them is not worth my feelings of anger, resentment and hurt.

I have gone NC for a month now, and it feels great! I'm not going to lie though, I do expect a text or an email from him eventually and secretly hope he does so that I can ignore him but I also know that day may never come and I'm ok with that too.

Jeez, he put up a personal ad on a website 3 days after breaking up with me and then proceeded to email me that "I know this isn't what you wanted to see, but I have needs." Do I want someone who does that to me in my life? HELL NO
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Old 6th November 2009, 10:36 AM   #3
AliveAndKicking
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It DOES get better!

Thanks for sharing your experience, strength, and hope!
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Old 6th November 2009, 10:48 AM   #4
sandflea
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There's nowhere to go but up at times! It does get better, and you move on, and up! Congrats... Happy for you!
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