[broknhearted]

I'm just sitting here this morning... bored outta my mind, lol. Hoping to gain more insight. Started pondering.... I've been with my MM for almost 3 years now. I was wondering how long some of you have been with your MM? I'm relatively young, 36. my MM is considerably younger than me and has only been married for 4 years. so, 3 of those 4 years he's kept me on the side. Is this something that he will just drag out forever or until i make a choice for him? It's taken me 3 years but now i'm finally getting tired of coming in second best, i've been tired of it all along but i guess it took a long time for reality to hit me. maybe he feels the same because im married too, i just don't know. i've got a lot more to lose than he does and i would be willing if he was. All the stories here sound so much like mine. i keep telling myself i don't deserve this but i have a hard time letting him go. does it ever work to just remain friends? He says he "loves me, but we are both married but aside from that need to be responsible to our kids (although his are step-kids, has none of his own) and its not just sex to him." In that statement, the only thing i got out of it was... excuses. he loves me but not enough to leave. I'm slowly hardening my heart against him because i have to. thats the only way i will eventually be able to totally let go and get on with my life. after all, whats the point to all this when he has no intention of leaving? None.