[Aksion]

So with the separation papers in hand and ready to go I am at a loss at where to go from here. It's obvious that she isn't making any attempts to actually speak with/ see me. She's dropped lines on her myspace about how she is happy with her NEW life and basically wants me to hurry up and get these papers done so she can move on with said "new" life.

With that said, I have a few things I'd like yall's opinion on.

First -- should I give her what she wants and do all the work in ending our marriage although I didn't want this?

Next -- if I do go through with it, I'll be contacting her by e-mail, what the he'll do I say? "Papers are ready to be signed -- meet me "where/when"." ? I've already set it out in my head to not see her if/when we sign as I'll get there early and just come back for my papers once she has left.

On that note though -- SHOULD I be there to see her? I know for me it would be tough as all the emotions from times past would flood over me -- same for her maybe? Maybe she'll want to talk because she knows this is really about to be done with?

Last thing -- her b-day is Sunday. Everyone I know says to ignore it, I almost feel like I should at least send her a card/letter/something. Wrong thing to do and maybe I should listen to those around me?

[Logik]

I didn't want the divorce, so I'm not filing for anything. She has to do it if it's what she wants. It's her decision to do this, so she needs to go through with it. IMO, your STBXW should have to do the work. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you don't want to file, let her know that it's up to her to do it. If she can't wait for it to be over, then she must do something to end it, not sit back and expect you to give it to her.

I wouldn't send a card for her birthday. It's my anniversary this week and I'm not sending anything. I'm actually gonna go out and enjoy myself. Do my own thing.

[WTFO]

Originally Posted by Logik

I didn't want the divorce, so I'm not filing for anything. She has to do it if it's what she wants. It's her decision to do this, so she needs to go through with it. IMO, your STBXW should have to do the work. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you don't want to file, let her know that it's up to her to do it. If she can't wait for it to be over, then she must do something to end it, not sit back and expect you to give it to her.

I wouldn't send a card for her birthday. It's my anniversary this week and I'm not sending anything. I'm actually gonna go out and enjoy myself. Do my own thing.

Agreed. Do your own thing. Let her do all the work. Why should you??

[TaraMaiden]

Aksion, why don't YOU drop a line on myspace, and say that YOU can't wait for HER to get the papers done, so YOU can get on with YOUR life - "because if she wants this, she's gonna have to do the dirty work!"....?

Then sit back, and wait for the papers......

But it's true.
If she's the initiator, she should be doing the work, not you.
let her do the running.

[seibert253]

A. Why are you doing all the work if it is she who wants out of the M? I'd email her and tell her if she wants to D, she can pay for the lawyer and file. Or, she can pay half, and you will take care of it.

Have you seperated your finances? Hope so.

Do you have an attorney? What advice has he given you? If you haven't spoke with an attorney, do so today. She's gone and judging by her tone, she's gonna try to bleed you dry. You need to protect yourself and interests.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I think if your ready to get outta limbo and move on with your life, why not file. If you dont have to pay any attorney fees other than your own and pay her no alimony. I would just file and let it be done. But dont tell her anything.

Telling her anything about a divorce she wanted is only a waste of time. Ignore her and keep it moving.

I dont know why your so, held back by it. Havent you gave purpose to the life your living without her. started datng someone else?

I mean your life doesnt end just because your marriage is over. I thought you came to terms with it. Just let it be done and over with.

Rebuild your life on your own terms. Forget about her. Let her receive the notice in the mail.

[Aksion]

I don't know why, I've just always been the one to do the important **** when we were together I guess.

As for finances, really don't have anything that she could take from me. We don't own anything, and no children. Everything that was "hers" is already out of the apartment.

I had a lawyer draw up the separation papers which included things such as monetary settlement and spousal support.

I suppose I could tell her to do it and just sit on these papers I have if I don't agree with whatever she gets drawn up?

I just know she WONT go do it though I guess. That's probably why I took the initiative.