Would like to get some opinions on this. I know a married couple who has a single female freind who goes out to eat and shop with them. I recently seen the man out to lunch with the female without the wife. I did not think it was appropiate and it really made me wonder. So am I right or wrong?
I was having lunch with a married man once every other month or so. Just last Friday night, I had dinner with him and his wife. We both talked about the lunches we had shared together and it was no big deal. I am friends with him and this was the opportunity to get to know his wife. She knows we will probably have lunch again in the near future, but as there is nothing to it other than lunch, it is completely open and honest amongst all of us.
Not EVERY male/female relationship involves sexual tension and sexual situations.
kis, I wouldn't jump to conclusions. You never know, they may be planning a surprise party for the W. And if they were having an A, I don't think they would be going out to lunch together in public / broad daylight where people can see them and report back to the W.
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"I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." -Albert Einstein
I don't think it is always inappropriate for a Married Man to be having a lunch date with a female friend. I have many male friends, both married and single, with which I have a strictly platonic relationship, and having lunch with one of them does not make it more than what it is. (Though my MM gets jealous and is convinced that all of them just want to get into my panties. Perhaps it is because he worries that I will find someone else that he says these things. *shrugs*)
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Attempt not to deceive the god with thy mortal lips. Peer deep within thyself, and ask not questions to which thou already knowest the answer, seek not advice which thou dost not intend to obey.
Wife is home sick.
They are planning something for the wife.
They are simply out as friends.
Etc.
I have been out alone with a MW for lunch and I am a MM.
It all comes down to the motives. And honestly, unless if it were my wife or my husband...or I had very good reason to believe it was more than lunch, then I would raise an eyebrow and then forget about it.
__________________ "Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the other is to let her have it." --LBJ
It is so easy to hide a date within the context of a business lunch, isn't it?
I don't think it is for others to assess if it is a date or a business lunch. But I can tell you that the two people sitting at the table know which side of the equation it falls on.
If it feels more like a date, then only go for lunch a couple times a year - at most. It is a bit naughty, but going too frequently would be like pouring gasoline on an open fire. Male/female attraction in business is natural.
If you have self-control - enjoy it for what it is, and reset your calendar for six months in the future. Just because you are attracted to someone and having lunch with them, it is a HUGE leap to say there is any chance you will end up sleeping together. It all comes down to having confidence in your self-control.
Would like to get some opinions on this. I know a married couple who has a single female freind who goes out to eat and shop with them. I recently seen the man out to lunch with the female without the wife. I did not think it was appropiate and it really made me wonder. So am I right or wrong?
Key word... it's a single female friend to the couple..
so I don't get why you're wondering..
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If your marriage is in cardiac arrest, an affair can be a defibrillator.' - Mira Kirshenbaum
IMO, if its an all the time thing or something to me that's different, than if it's a one time thing.
Our youth pastor who is around 30 years of age, had lunch out with the choir director lady who was in her 50's, and it was just them two. Discussing church stuff I'm sure. I do think it can be done without it being more to it than what it is. Done alot, that might be different.
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~"The fact that you ran and told the "teacher" just proves you are ashamed of what you do." MY intentions were not the way you took them to be, but your actions speak louder than my words."
If it is a friend to one of them, then eventually it should become a friend to both of them, IMHO.
It's when the friendship becomes secret to the SO, that red flags should be going off all over the place.
And, right or wrong, a man and a woman, at lunch, dinner or drinks, too often, who are not known to be in a committed relationship with each other, WILL become a source of speculation and gossip whether fairly or unfairly.
Would like to get some opinions on this. I know a married couple who has a single female freind who goes out to eat and shop with them. I recently seen the man out to lunch with the female without the wife. I did not think it was appropiate and it really made me wonder. So am I right or wrong?
Maybe the wife knew about her husband and this single friend having lunch, and maybe she is ok with it.
__________________ "If you're tired of beating that same dead horse....then just stop!"
K, I as well do not think it is appropriate for a MM and single a woman who is not a close family member to be sharing meals together. Sharing of meals alone with someone that you're not committed to is a courtship ritual in most cases. Most likely one, or both, have desires and thoughts of more than "just friends". I wouldn't tolerate it in my relationship, and I know my wife wouldn't either.
Maybe the wife knew about her husband and this single friend having lunch, and maybe she is ok with it.
Exactly.
It may be platonic
It may be business
It may be a surprise party
It may be a sexual relationship with the permission of the wife.
or, yes,
It may be a sexual relationship without the permission of the wife
This is not Saudi Arabia. Thankfully we are able to sit down in public to eat with friends of our choosing and not limited by gender or religion unless we choose to. And even in Saudi Arabia I'm sure the busybodies of the world will whisper about who had lunch with whom.
However, I completely fail to see how this is any of your business? Or even that interesting.
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