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Posted this in Friendship but got no response.. anyone got any ideas about this?


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 30th October 2009, 11:19 AM   #1
becky_star
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Unhappy Posted this in Friendship but got no response.. anyone got any ideas about this?

Hey,
I've been having driving lessons for a while now (over a year - embarrassing - I was crap at first). My driving instructor has been really supportive... But I really fancy him! I know he's married and I'm engaged but I can't stop thinking about him. He's always lovely to me and tells me how much I'm coming on. He's never made any advances towards me and flirts a bit if I flirt a bit with him. I never thought anything of it until this week when we were randomly texting in the afternoon. I told him a guy was chatting to me in uni and my driving instructor replied saying he thought that he (the guy) was chatting me up. When I had my lesson this morning he seemed a bit on edge and kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I could smell cigarettes in the car and he kept asking me if I was okay. When I was driving, we got talking about tattoos and I mentioned I wanted one... He said they weren't his thing but that he reckoned I'd have "a naughty one done in an inappropriate place". When I'd got out of the car, he came behind me and stood really close to me like he was going to put his arms around me... and kinda chuckled in my ear... Just to be clear, I will never ever cheat and I feel awful cos we were both flirting and I'm worried he hates me now! Do you think he thinks I'm stupid?
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Old 30th October 2009, 11:32 AM   #2
GorillaTheater
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I have no idea what he thinks about you. Perhaps the question you should be asking yourself is why you care what he thinks.
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Old 2nd November 2009, 1:14 PM   #3
mushmush
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He is married and you are engaged..

Does common sense not even come into this??

Its no winder why you got no responses because it pretty bloody obvious what the right thing to do would be, Why do you even care what he thinks??
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Old 9th November 2009, 10:28 AM   #4
Charm13
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Get a new driving instructor. You're focusing on the instructor more than the driving it seems.
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Old 9th November 2009, 9:21 PM   #5
Calendula
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Red flags!!!

Sounds to me like you're seemingly harmless flirting has gotten you into a potentially dangerous position. Your driving instructor may have it in his head because of your friendliness that you would be an easy one to get into bed, and if this is what is on his mind, in any way, you need to get a new driving instructor ASAP, i.e. NOW. Sure he was being attentive to you, and supportive, you pay him to be. If his behaviour is making you at all uncomfortable, however, regardless of what you may or may not have done to instigate it, you need to put an end to the non-relationship you two have immediately, potentially by talking about it with him, but ideally by ending your driving lessons with this man.

Just the fact that you were worried enough to post this on LS, not once, but twice, tells me that you know something is wrong with this and that something needs to be done to fix the situation before you end up hurt or in a position you don't want to be in. Deal with it immediately.
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