[xela]

My daughter (youngest of 2, older one is 15) seems to be having difficulty sleeping alone at night. She was fine for years, and this has surfaced following a couple of sleepovers when she called us in the middle of the night to say that she couldn't sleep, she was feeling sick, and could we come and collect her....
Since then, she's been unable to go on sleep-overs - she's tried, but the same pattern follows - feeling "unwell" and wanting to go home e.g. 2am
Now it's taking a new pattern - some nights (many nights) she can't go to sleep, going to bed at 10pm but coming through to us at midnight wide awake, unable to sleep and worried that she'll be tired the next day. Myself and my wife let her sleep beside us, and she's just fine.
This seems to go back to a time when we met a family who's mother had just died of cancer. She seemed to be deeply affected by this and the problem with sleepovers started soon after. This was 18 months ago. The recent aggravation started with my thoughtless sister spilling the beans about the fact that we've privately organised for her to be cared for by a particular family in the unlikely event that both of her parents die.
She talks about a "worry bug" that gets into her head, and we've discussed ways of getting rid of it, like thinking pleasant thoughts, counting sheep etc.
It's not a huge problem, but we don't know what to do about it. How seriously should we take this? Will it pass in time? Should we go and talk to someone professional about it? Part of me feels that by making an issue of it, we could even worsen it.
All thoughts would be appreciated.

[libertygirl]

At 12 a child wants less to do w/ their parents...unless they have already lost one parent or a family member they were close to. (usually)
The idea of being uncomfortable at a friends house is what seems odd; she should feel secure around the other kids - safety in numbers. Also, the mind should be pre-occupied with other things...girl talk, games...only thing I could think of is maybe they tell scary ghost stories, or maybe someone shared a very scary story w/ her that they should not have.

I would try downloading something onto an ipod for her to listen to while she tries to go to sleep. Search relaxation in the iTunes store. There are a few pod casts that helped me relax and calm down. This is something that if you have not been through it , you will not understand it. If the relaxation items do not help, I would seek a professional.

You would not want this to be an anexity disorder, and then years from now you have a 27 year old daughter who is afraid to drive...and just afraid of life in general. Getting help will not make it worse.

[Maggs]

When I was 11, I suffered a lot from night time anxiety. Only at home really, not out at sleepovers. I had a horrible teacher that year and he piled a lot of work on us that we were really too young for. It took me ages to fall asleep! Finally my grandmother suggested warm milk before bed and I started that. It worked! I have an MP4 player that I'll often watch a bit of a movie on if I can't fall asleep. That always makes me drowsy now.