In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
So there is this guy in one of my classes that i really like, but i just don't have the courage to talk to him. I am afraid of rejection and that he might be taken, so i am kind of trying to get him to talk to me, but nothing works. I tried looking at him, but he never looks back and when i think he is looking i don't look because i am way too shy. Help please, he is all i ever think about
So there is this guy in one of my classes that i really like, but i just don't have the courage to talk to him. I am afraid of rejection and that he might be taken, so i am kind of trying to get him to talk to me, but nothing works. I tried looking at him, but he never looks back and when i think he is looking i don't look because i am way too shy. Help please, he is all i ever think about
How attractive are you on a scale of 1-10, 10 being gorgeous?
I ask this for multiple reasons, answer instinctively.
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"Pull up a stool. Nothing to do except shot after shot. Drink till I puke, and I'm standing on the edge of what is real." - Smile Empty Soul
"I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by." - Captain Jack Sparrow
Well it depends on how i dress. I say when i don't do anything im average like 5 or 6. When i dress up a little im a 7 and when i really dress up im a 9. So i am 6.8 on a scale of 1-10.
Just talk to the guy. The conversation can be about anything. Ask him what did he make on a test. Ask him for help in class even if you don't need it. You can take the conversation further. If he is taken then start a friendship.
Well it depends on how i dress. I say when i don't do anything im average like 5 or 6.
This is the only part I care about, and the only part that matters. This is how you are %90 of your life, don't factor in when you're maxed out and dressed up because it doesn't happen all the time.
I asked this because I wanted to know A) how you view yourself, and B) what your attraction powers are for the opposite sex.
Now most girls are modest so I'll put you at about a seven. Seven is a decent score. (sorry to simplify your situation so much down to mere numbers, I know it's more complicated than that)
If you like the guy, you have a chance of getting him. Confidence, flirtation, body language, you can work all of these into making him take notice of you if you want to. I think if you worked on yourself in the confidence department, started acting/dressing sexier (without looking slutty), and started flirting more, you would turn a lot of heads- and not just the one you're pining for. Get sassy (without being bitchy), and smile more often. It takes a lot of effort for a girl to do these things if they aren't used to it, I know. But you will see results if you do, I promise. If you want guys to be attracted to you, become an object of attraction. I don't mean you are an object, or that you should come off as easy or anything, just saying don't be afraid to become the center of attention.
All this of course, if you've already tried talking to him. If you haven't tried this yet, it comes first lol
I'm sure there are lots of girls on here that can recommend ways to flirt, body language, and different attraction styles that have worked for them in the past.
Thanks for all the advice. Well i see him once a week, and i never said a word to him, so i don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. Im hoping he doesnt. Its hard for me because i am not a flirt and i dont like dressing up or better yet don't know how without looking like i am trying too hard. I guess i do need tips on how to flirt because i can't even discern when a guy is flirting or just being nice. I also suffer from confidence issues because when i was in junior high and in the first years of high school, i was teased mercilessly. Boys acted like i was hot, but they said it in a mocking tone and girls were mean to me for no reason. i have always fallen for guys that are taken or that don't like me at all, which also makes me more afraid to talk to him.
Awwe, I'm gonna follow up on this one. Keep us updated!!!
If he brags about being good at something like cars or computers, you can ask him for help. Guys can be really dense sometimes. I flirted with this one guy in school a ton, got him to help me with stuff asked him to do stuff, and he would always ignore and not give me signs. One day I myspaced him that I liked him, and he was SHOCKED and didn't even notice that I was flirting with him every second. We went out for two and a half years after that, but I'll tell ya, I tried everything under the sun short of telling him I liked him. He TRULY had no clue in the world. Just a heads up on how dunce some of them can be.
Tight shirt, get your hair done, mascara and lip gloss will always make you feel more confident in the "giving boys the eye" department.
I have to ask, what the H is with the scale? Placing people on a scale somewhere between 1 and 10 is so de-personalizing and not at all what the OP needs to worry about. Is this really how men categorize women? I haven't heard that crap in ages, and it was always stated by men who were a 4-5 at best--I'm not saying this applies to you, but, ironically, nearly all of the men I've ever spoken with be about "the scale" and who placed women on said scale were not very attractive themselves.
amagordos:
I think you should focus on being more open and friendly. Despite how you look, studies have shown that smiling, laughing, and seeming warm and friendly are more related to sustained attraction that physical appearance. So, when you next see him, look him in the eye, smile, and look away--just act nonchalant and like it's no big deal. Then, when you start to feel comfortable looking at him and smiling, try saying, "Hi." I think the major thing you have to realize is that he is a person--he too has insecurities. You just have to see his humanity and not think less of yourself in relation to him. You are both equals. You both have troubles, insecurities, likes and dislikes, etc.
Life is short, so go talk to this guy! What is the worst that can happen? It's not like you're asking him out the moment you speak to him. I'm sure, regardless of what happens romantically, he will be open to being your friend. I've been in your situation, albeit many years ago, and I made things so awkward and placed the guy on pedestal. If anything, learn from my mistake: realize he too is a person and no better than you.
Anyway, good luck!
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"Our dad use to murder us in cold blood each night and dance about on our graves singing, 'Alleluia!'" John Cleese in the skit Four Yorkshiremen
I have to ask, what the H is with the scale? Placing people on a scale somewhere between 1 and 10 is so de-personalizing and not at all what the OP needs to worry about. Is this really how men categorize women? I haven't heard that crap in ages, and it was always stated by men who were a 4-5 at best--I'm not saying this applies to you, but, ironically, nearly all of the men I've ever spoken with be about "the scale" and who placed women on said scale were not very attractive themselves.
Yes it is de-personalizing, but it simplifies things as well. Plus it's a good guage as to how she sees herself- which has to do with the biggest factor: confidence.
Furthermore, she went right along with it, she even got into the decimals. So don't get all bent out of shape. It's not as big a deal as you're trying to make it out to be.
Heres my advice . its 2009 !! Women are equal to men right ??? Its simple you need to break the ice. Tell him you like his shirt, his pants whatever you think looks good on him dont comment on any physical part yet . Like "I really like the shirt your wearing today!" or the jeans what ever. or maybe a earing if he has one.Once you do this he may give a sign right away.I/ve never had a woman do that to me yet . so I guess i need to dress better LOL....
Yes it is de-personalizing, but it simplifies things as well. Plus it's a good guage as to how she sees herself- which has to do with the biggest factor: confidence.
Furthermore, she went right along with it, she even got into the decimals. So don't get all bent out of shape. It's not as big a deal as you're trying to make it out to be.
LOL, no one is getting bent out of shape--there you go with that "jump to conclusions mat," again.
You're right: she went with it. I am just saying that I think the scale is crap. Period. I'm not mad about it being crap, but merely stating that it is crap.
A simple observation, that's all. Though, I still don't think the scale is helpful. From her original post it seems pretty clear that her confidence isn't very high; so, I suppose I just didn't see the need to exploit it by making her worry about where she falls on some "hotness" scale.
LOL, no one is getting bent out of shape--there you go with that "jump to conclusions mat," again.
You're right: she went with it. I am just saying that I think the scale is crap. Period. I'm not mad about it being crap, but merely stating that it is crap.
A simple observation, that's all. Though, I still don't think the scale is helpful. From her original post it seems pretty clear that her confidence isn't very high; so, I suppose I just didn't see the need to exploit it by making her worry about where she falls on some "hotness" scale.
But, that's just me.
Wanna know something funny? The first time I ever heard it used was in highschool by a group of girls describing themselves. Not something I picked up from guys that are 4s or 5s.
find a way to talk to him! drop your pencil or something. the worst thing is rejection but there's always other guys. sometimes guys like it when girls take the initiative.
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I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me.
Again thank you guys for the advice. I will take all this into consideration and if i am brave will act on it. Last week, he sat close to me. Its a class where people alternate seats, and sometimes he sits near the wall and other times he sits closer to me. That time i was trying to catch his eye, but i couldn't the whole time and when it was break time, he didn't go outside. He just stayed there listening to music. i was just sitting there too. I felt so deflated and disappointed i didn't do anything. You know its not easy for me.
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