In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
"All I've wanted my entire life is a wife that I can get my life started with."
Yes, I know I ended the sentence in a preposition. It's the idea that I was given, I don't know when, but it always sounded good to me. I'm single, 30, no children, never married, doing *ok* financially, educated, fit, and I actually care about bettering myself. I have ambition. I don't want to be the man that never changes because he is too proud. I actually care if the woman I am with is satisfied in bed. I do argue my position if I feel I am right, otherwise I will let it go. If I am proven wrong, I may pout, but will eventually accept that I'm wrong. I do care what my partner (must be female) thinks. I want a relationship where we are open and completely honest with each other: IE, no secrets. I am currently in therapy trying to resolve past issues so I can be a more free and clear thinking person. I appreciate rationality but I love humor. I know that I'm not always right, but I love a good debate (occasionally). I love sex. I love affection. I am Cuban descent, first generation American (I look bone friggin white). I like kids. I know how to cook. I am technically inclined and a Mr. Fixit of sorts. I can appreciate the finest wines and cheeses, or enjoy bottom rung beer. I can show my affection openly, or be calm and collected. I am a problem solver. I enjoy bringing a smile to my lady's face. I am sensitive and I can cry at a "chick flick"... if you want to belittle me for this, bring it. I feel like I am doing everything right, but I just can't seem to find someone who will actually show genuine interest. I am a good person. I love animals and I try not to kill bugs unless I have to (IE: she demands it). I own a gun, but only to defend myself and those I love. I think that the world we live in is crazy and I dream (note the usage of dream) of a world where people wake up. I am shy to start, but open in good company. I don't do drugs. I do drink, but in moderation. I do not smoke. I can write. I can sing. I love music. I enjoy entertainment. I love to dance. I am good with machines (computers, cars, etc). I love art. I appreciate a good conversation. Sex is more to me than just pleasure: it is a BOND. I enjoy someone's pleasure, and if she enjoys mine, I enjoy hers, then she enjoys mine... you see where this is going. I have a scenic view from my porch. I have a robot that keeps my apartment clean. I enjoy many spices from many cultures in my cooking and relish them all. I have fastidious hygene: body and dental. I keep my apartment neat. I am romantic and love tender quiet moments with candles, incense, and soft music. The female body is the most beautiful image I have ever seen...
So my question is... why am I alone?
NOTE: I want this to be a positive first post. Struggling with depression, I can understand the cynics and that they may want to debunk me. I already live in a world with shades of grey and I can appreciate your position, but I'm trying to restore some semblance of hope to my life. A world where there is nothing of the above for me is a very boring world indeed, and I refuse to believe that of the BILLIONS of human beings on this planet, that there isn't at least ONE woman that can agree and enjoy everything I said about myself above. That's all I want, just one...
To the mods: I'm a newb here, so I apologize if this is in the wrong section. Please feel free to move and correct me in the ways you see fit. Thanks.
you will find someone when the time is right. if you are all the things listed - some gal will be very fortunate to be with you... in the meantime - enjoy your own company.
you will find someone when the time is right. if you are all the things listed - some gal will be very fortunate to be with you... in the meantime - enjoy your own company.
No kidding sunny!! Wow, right?
OP -- you are getting to an age where women truly appreciate who you are and what you bring to the table. The young rarely appreciate such substance. Women in their 30s will be there for the pickings. Truly - you mark my words.
Keep going with your therapy and resolve the issues you know you have so you'll be absolutely ready when she appears.
You sound absolutely fantastic and are obviously intelligent as well as eloquent. You are knockin' my socks off. And that is tough to do, believe me!
OP -- you are getting to an age where women truly appreciate who you are and what you bring to the table. The young rarely appreciate such substance. Women in their 30s will be there for the pickings. Truly - you mark my words.
Keep going with your therapy and resolve the issues you know you have so you'll be absolutely ready when she appears.
You sound absolutely fantastic and are obviously intelligent as well as eloquent. You are knockin' my socks off. And that is tough to do, believe me!
Thank you. I've been told by friends that I need to remain patient. I used to have the patience of stone, I've just been feeling antsy lately and I don't know why. I think I feel my prime ticking away which is what scares me.
you will find someone when the time is right. if you are all the things listed - some gal will be very fortunate to be with you... in the meantime - enjoy your own company.
FYI:
Most of my relationships in the past have been with older women. I can definitely say that I had great times when I connected with an older woman. They seem to be appreciative of someone who is going to be fair and honest with them. I've been known to spend hours on end on the phone and not wanting to hang up. Those are good times.
FYI:
Most of my relationships in the past have been with older women. I can definitely say that I had great times when I connected with an older woman. They seem to be appreciative of someone who is going to be fair and honest with them. I've been known to spend hours on end on the phone and not wanting to hang up. Those are good times.
Damn. You just keep getting better. A man who likes to share AND listen?
Who actually pays attention and is willing to be open and share about needs etc?
You are a gem -- I tell you -- a true one in a million.
In my 20s I never would have appreciated you. i was scatterbrained and not even close to being able the kind of mature relationship you have to offer.
It wasn't until my 30s that I started looking for more substance in that great looking package.
Trust me you haven't wasted any time and you are only on the horizon of your "prime" -- 40 is the new 20 and not only for women Mister.
You are addressing your issues and prior to them becoming a problem in your eventual relationship. Fabulous move on your part and it will be appreciated.
You want to just get your feet wet? Get out to events going on locally on meet up or sites like that. They aren't dates -- but there will be various women there - single and not to interact with. Remember ALL those married women have single friends as well -- you never know how you'll meet the one who ends up lucky enough to partner up with you.
And in the meantime you get out doing something you enjoy, no pressure, with people who enjoy the same things. Win, win, win.
Damn. You just keep getting better. A man who likes to share AND listen?
Who actually pays attention and is willing to be open and share about needs etc?
You are a gem -- I tell you -- a true one in a million.
You flatter me, I'm honestly not used to hearing that.
Quote:
In my 20s I never would have appreciated you. i was scatterbrained and not even close to being able the kind of mature relationship you have to offer.
It wasn't until my 30s that I started looking for more substance in that great looking package.
Sadly, I've found this to be the case quite often. It seems to me sometimes that they have to have experienced bad relationships before they will even talk to me. I'm all for experience, but what makes it true that 20-something women don't appreciate that?
Quote:
Trust me you haven't wasted any time and you are only on the horizon of your "prime" -- 40 is the new 20 and not only for women Mister.
You are addressing your issues and prior to them becoming a problem in your eventual relationship. Fabulous move on your part and it will be appreciated.
You want to just get your feet wet? Get out to events going on locally on meet up or sites like that. They aren't dates -- but there will be various women there - single and not to interact with. Remember ALL those married women have single friends as well -- you never know how you'll meet the one who ends up lucky enough to partner up with you.
And in the meantime you get out doing something you enjoy, no pressure, with people who enjoy the same things. Win, win, win.
That brings me relief and hope. Thank you, sweetie!
I know where to start Zans, exactly what do you do to meet women, and what are your stats? (height, weight)
__________________ ADF: People don't lie to spare other people; people lie to spare themselves. Anybody who says, "it's not you, it's me" is beneath contempt.
Do you put this HUGE list in a profile of some sort ?
When you go on a date do you spend the whole time outlining how wonderful you are ?
You don't need all these words to prove who you are. You just ARE wonderful if you are...( I am not saying you are wonderful , only that to tout your own horn = BORING )
Did it ever occur to you that you might be boring the girl ? If you are great she wont need to be given a list. There will be C H E M I S T R Y . If there is not , well you will be posting on here about whats wrong.
When you go on a date , let HER talk . Be a listener.
I once had a guy talk ONE HOUR AND HALF , non stop , about what he owned . how smart he was , how handsome he thought he was , what jerk the neighbors were , ect , ect .ect. I was like " HEY you wasted 90 minutes of my Cell minutes ! " ( Well to myself of course )
I don't know you and I don't know what you say on dates. I won't judge that you toot your own horn ,,,,but do you ???
__________________
"how do you gently break up with someone???..
Thats like saying how do I gently drive a monster truck through a china/glass/crystal shop.
__________________
Do you put this HUGE list in a profile of some sort ?
When you go on a date do you spend the whole time outlining how wonderful you are ?
You don't need all these words to prove who you are. You just ARE wonderful if you are...( I am not saying you are wonderful , only that to tout your own horn = BORING )
Did it ever occur to you that you might be boring the girl ? If you are great she wont need to be given a list. There will be C H E M I S T R Y . If there is not , well you will be posting on here about whats wrong.
When you go on a date , let HER talk . Be a listener.
I once had a guy talk ONE HOUR AND HALF , non stop , about what he owned . how smart he was , how handsome he thought he was , what jerk the neighbors were , ect , ect .ect. I was like " HEY you wasted 90 minutes of my Cell minutes ! " ( Well to myself of course )
I don't know you and I don't know what you say on dates. I won't judge that you toot your own horn ,,,,but do you ???
Yes, I keep this on a resume that I hand over at the beginning of every date that I go on to save myself the breath. No, I actually prefer listening to someone before opening my mouth. I was feeling kinda down when I worte this and was trying to make myself feel better. I don't always feel that way about myself and I actually find two-way conversation stimulating. But thank you for the reality check.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Sensitive but strong male...
And that is tough to do, believe me!
You flatter me, I'm honestly not used to hearing that.
bore
Hybrid Mode
