In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Truly there are few things that can equal the emotional pain and distress this causes.
I don't know if deep down there is a part of me that enjoys torturing myself because I always fall for girls I cannot have.
Once, just once I'd like to fall for a girl I have even a remote chance of getting together with.
I thought I'd gotten this under control because it's been a few years now since I felt anything like this for a girl but it's happened to me again and I need to get it off my chest because I feel like there's a fist in my chest crushing my heart every time I think of her.
I'm in a choir with this girl, so I see her almost every week and it's agony. She's in the row in front of me and I have to tear my eyes away from her time and time again.
To see something you want more than anything else, right in front of you but completely unattainable, it's a horrible feeling. Even worse is the knowledge that some other guy(s) will get to be with her, it just feels so unfair.
I wish that I could have my emotions switched off so that I don't ever need to experience this again.
Apologies for the depressing thread, but I'm close to tears. I'm normally really good at controlling my emotions because I know that when they get out they overwhelm me, like what is happening now.
Do some deep breathing..That will help the crushing feeling in your chest and heart.. Sorry you're hurting..
All I can tell ya is, time is on your side..It's too bad you have to see this girl weekly, that makes it harder for you to detach and heal.
I know it's easier said than done, but if you truly love her and want the best for her, even if it hurts you, inside your head, tell yourself that you just want to see her happy, even though it's not with you. Wish her the best..
One day when you least expect it, the right girl will walk into your life. As painful as love is sometimes, it's worth it when you have the right person.
Zoff, I've been there before. Pretty soon, you're gonna ask yourself why is it do you spend so much time thinking instead of doing something more productive. Then sooner or later, you'll find yourself thinking less and less about her. Before you know it, you'll get to a point where you won't flinch inside when you see the person in question. You'll still wonder about her now and again, but you don't let the thought bother you.
Theres no feeling more violent or vital than unrequited love so this is you at your most alive (if thats any kind of silver linging)
Well said! So many different emotions....which is so much better than going through life being numb
I think the best thing to do is try and remind yourself about all the good things about being single. How these wouldn't happen if you had her, and go do those things.
As we all know, it takes time but soon it won't be quite so harsh.
You mean there's another kind? I thought "unrequited love" was redundant.
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I wish that I could have my emotions switched off so that I don't ever need to experience this again.
I haven't found the off switch yet either. It'd be handy, just to be able to switch things off and get through the rest of my to-do list. Then when I'm in the mood (like when I want to watch a sad movie or something), I could flip the switch to the on position for an hour-and-a-half, enjoy the experience, and then get right back to life afterwards.
Let me know if you find where that switch is.
__________________ "Love is a many splintered thing" - Sisters of Mercy
Theres no feeling more violent or vital than unrequited love so this is you at your most alive (if thats any kind of silver linging)
Superbly put. (Is silver linging some kind of sexual manoeuvre?)
For a guy, unrequited love is very much like your balls going into hibernation over an unusually long winter. But when spring finally comes, you're going to feel extraordinarily frisky.
When you say unrequited love, do you mean that you asked her out and she wasn't interested or do you mean that you admire her from afar without ever having asked her out?
When you say unrequited love, do you mean that you asked her out and she wasn't interested or do you mean that you admire her from afar without ever having asked her out?
I mean I'm not going to ask her out because it would be an embarrassing situation for both of us and could make things awkward in the future.
There is simply no way that this could ever be possible because there is too much of an age difference between us. I'm simply to old for her.
The fact that I know that my feelings for her are hopeless means that I not only feel miserable, but also stupid, for feeling these pointless feelings in the first place.
How do you know you are too old? Look around LS there are large age gaps between happy couples. You never know unless you try. Worst thing that happens is she doesn't feel the same which could help you to get over her?
Although, I've been in your shoes - it's awful. Good luck!
you're only too old for her if it becomes a legal issue. other than that... you're only as old as you feel. generation gaps can either make a relationship extremely interesting or make it fall apart miserably. IMHO life is too short not to take chances--it's something i'm attempting to grasp as a result of feeling much the same as you do. you gotta weigh out risk vs reward here.
i do have to ask though, is there any type of bond at all between you two? like a friendship or even a simple acquaintance?
you say this is common for you to fall for what you can't have. i empathize completely. i have this horrible habit of self destructing with nearly everything i desire. i've managed to put myself in a wicked circle of back and forth unrequited love with the same person for going on 7 years. its irritating and emotionally draining. at some point though, the cycle has to be broken. i wish i could give you some decent advice, however... i'm in a similar situation.
Superbly put. (Is silver linging some kind of sexual manoeuvre?)
For a guy, unrequited love is very much like your balls going into hibernation over an unusually long winter. But when spring finally comes, you're going to feel extraordinarily frisky.
not intending to hijack this thread, but I am also going thru this atm except I have expressed my intentions sometime in the past. The bad part is I have to work with the person. How do I get by without letting my feelings get the best of me?
Its very hard to get over unrequited love if you see the person daily imo. I thought I wouldn't see this person again (which was superb, LS NC advice) but unfortunately this person just happened to fall back into where I work.
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I thought "unrequited love" was redundant.
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