So i've been working there for 1 year now. There's 2 guys who i work with, 1 im kind of his boss (J), the other i just work with sometimes (P).
J has been asking me out since day 1 we met, he has been giving me gifts, roses, notes, desserts, he says he adores me, and thinks of me all the time. P, on the other hand, has just said to me straight forward that he likes me a lot and that he wants to date me. I've said no to both for a while.
Yesterday i went out with other coworkers and J and i drove him to his house where he asked me if i wanted to meet his puppy (by the way i love dogs), i went in and stayed there for a while watching tv, and all of the sudden we were making out. I dont really like him, but i dont know what to do now, he might think im leading him on, and i dont want that. i dont want to date anyone from work, but i want to date someone!! ughh im suck a mess !!! help, opinions, etc... all welcomed!
Well sweetie, you already led him on by going into his house and making out with him, even though you're not interested in him.
When you inevitably have to have this chat with him, please don't say that the reason you don't want to date him is because you don't want to date people you work with. You have to tell him you're only interested in friendship from him, or very simply that you're not interested in him. Saying otherwise will just give him hope. He'll think, "Oh, she's interested, except that we work together." And he won't give up.
Well, generally speaking, girl makes out with me = interested. I couldnt imagine its different for women. Why did you do that, if you dont mind me asking?
Just say you made a mistake, one that wont happen agian, and you just arent interested. And make sure not to hang out with this guy outside of work, or go in his house, ever again.
Why does this remind me of an episode from "The Office"?
Seriously, that show is an excellent way to study office dynamics when co-workers "hook up." People talk. It probably won't reflect well on you, as it goes to personal judgment and self-control. Be careful! From now on, I would be nothing but professional with both guys. And don't go to any more Happy Hours for awhile.
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"I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." -Albert Einstein
Well sweetie, you already led him on by going into his house and making out with him, even though you're not interested in him.
When you inevitably have to have this chat with him, please don't say that the reason you don't want to date him is because you don't want to date people you work with. You have to tell him you're only interested in friendship from him, or very simply that you're not interested in him. Saying otherwise will just give him hope. He'll think, "Oh, she's interested, except that we work together." And he won't give up.
Yeah you're right, because that was exactly what i did when he first started asking me out, i said no because we work together and for sure that hasn't stopped him.
Clarify: i dont consider my self as easy... maybe it sounds like it by what happened but im sure im not.
I made a mistake like BCCA said, it was a huge mistake i know that, amd im so sorry it happened because i've been keeping my word of not having anything to do with that guy for almost 6 months that he's been asking me out. Yeah maybe alcohol had something to do with it... and for sure no more happy hours like those anymore!!!
I would love to tell him straight ahead im not interested in him, but i guess i havent said that because im afraid it will ruin our working environment, i work everyday for more than 8 hours with him and its such a direct relation that i know things will be weird for us.
Why does this remind me of an episode from "The Office"?
Seriously, that show is an excellent way to study office dynamics when co-workers "hook up." People talk. It probably won't reflect well on you, as it goes to personal judgment and self-control. Be careful! From now on, I would be nothing but professional with both guys. And don't go to any more Happy Hours for awhile.
Yeah probably ur right but whats done is done and all i can do is learn from what happened!
I wouldnt worry about it, Ive seen people do much worse. It will be forgotten in like a month, and since when is making out a big deal anyway?
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Yeah you're right, because that was exactly what i did when he first started asking me out, i said no because we work together and for sure that hasn't stopped him.
See, this is why making excuses is a bad call, you almost always have to just tell the whole truth sooner or later. It just makes it worse to lie. Just lay it all out there, make sure there arent any misunderstandings. He might be weird for a while, but eventually things will be fine. Better to just get it over with.
You say you are "kind of" his boss. Most workplaces wouldn't allow bosses to date anyone they manage, as you could be giving them preferenential treatment. You should be careful this doesn't go any further, and especially as you say you don't even have feelings for him.
You say you are "kind of" his boss. Most workplaces wouldn't allow bosses to date anyone they manage, as you could be giving them preferenential treatment. You should be careful this doesn't go any further, and especially as you say you don't even have feelings for him.
Well yeah he reports to me, but im not his real boss. Anyhow well today he was saying how beautiful i looked, and saying nice things to me. I didnt get the chance to talk to him directly about the situation because my country is a mess right now and we had to leave work early... i hope eventually he'll forget about this!
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Guys at work
!!! help, opinions, etc... all welcomed!
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