[Allrightsviolated]

I am a bisexual female currently in a 2 year relationship with a man. I am open about my sexuality but I am not comfortable being in a serious relationship with another woman, just sexual. I have never been able to develop an emotional or mental bond beyond sexual and if I do the sexual attraction disappears and I feel that it is wrong and unnatural to feel this way once I see the female in the light of a friend.

My boyfriend knows this, he has alot of feminine traits about him, pretty eyes, long eyelashes, waist length hair and he can be very catty. I was pretty much attracted to his whole attitude and that he handles his emotions in the way that a female does, very sensitive and I often pick on him for it when I feel he's being too clingy. He says I act like a guy in the way that I'm domineering, can be cold and aloof and that I express my anger and aggression like a guy.

We have no problems when it comes to affection and foreplay but when it comes down to the sex, I just dont feel interested and I stop and kind of push him away. Since we've been together in 2 years we've probably only had sex 30 times and most of the time he's had to dress up like a female to turn me on. It started out as funny experiment, but now he says I only get really into it when he dresses up and I think it bothers him because he stopped doing it but then tried to break up with me for not wanting to have sex with him.

I don't know if I'm being a wimp but just I don't like anything penetrating me at all whether it be a penis, fingers, toys, it all feels uncomfortable and sometimes like a painful tampon for me and only a certain part of me likes stimulation and sometime's I'll cry and feel dirty if someone's on top of me and I don't like it. I really love my boyfriend and I don't want to lose him, because the emotional and mental bond is there, my heart's in it but I think this weirdness with my sexuality is only getting worse.

[TaraMaiden]

I think you need referral to a psychosexual counsellor, because this is actually to complicated and convoluted for anyone on a forum to discuss in any greatly constructive way.
And I think you could both do to attend - either together, or separately.
There are 'hidden' issues and agendas here that I think you both need to face and come to terms with - and a chat forum isn't the place to do it.

Sincerely - I think you need professional guidance.

[SHO]

Therapy indicated.

Don't know what you have to choose from, but if travel is necessary, then consider it to get the right type of therapist for you.

You can continue to take your lumps, or work with someone who can offer genuine help. Genuine help is always so much less painful.

[bhweller]

ok, here is my amateur opinion, since the other posters just said "get therapy" and thats not what you came here for.

you said:

"I don't know if I'm being a wimp but just I don't like anything penetrating me at all whether it be a penis, fingers, toys, it all feels uncomfortable and sometimes like a painful tampon for me and only a certain part of me likes stimulation and sometime's I'll cry and feel dirty if someone's on top of me and I don't like it."

I am sorry, but that sounds like you have experienced some sort of psychological trauma , almost like a victim of a sex crime. Get help for sure.

About the relationship, well the problem is that you are not bisexual. You are not sexually attracted to the male form.