Been dating each other for two years, all was perfect we love each other to death, still tell each other we do. Went to bed one night great, next morning wanted to break-up.
It's been a month, I cut of contact last Tuesday after getting mad at her for the first time ever, I told her **** if you don't love me tell me that and I'll disappear and she said I can't do that, because it's killing me her saying she loves me and misses me. Well she called Thursday, Friday and Sat., BUT she refuses to see me other then when we pass on the street, the one time I grabbed her and held her hand and she had watery eyes and drove away. If she sees me she's afraid she'll change her mind, the last time we were together we kissed and she made me leave saying get out of here before I change my mind that's how I know that. I don't want to contact her trying to give her time.
I've seen her around she works at a place I've stopping by for years now I've cut that out mostly now. I know she hasn't slept because she slipped and told me so the other day, she's lost so much weight she looks sickly and is physically looking it. We would go over each others house 4-5 times per week just to get good nights sleep because we would sleep so deep together. We only live about 2 miles from each other.
How long before I try pushing the issue of us again and how do I do it? Do two people who love each other as we do get back together?
Last edited by Oh Moe; 7th September 2009 at 11:42 AM..
Read my post on this very subject(feeling of relief).. My ex did the same things..It's all an act to make them feel better about what they"re doing to someone they care about..notice I said "care" not Love. Once the love flame's gone, it's gone in most cases.
__________________
"Everybodys got a plan till they get hit in the mouth"- Mike Tyson
A little more to the story, as I said we both still tell each other we love and miss each other.
Here where her two main problems, She always said you have me to high on a pedestal, I thought this was being modest. She never explained what she meant. I will not exaggerate this women is wonderful, she did so much for me and my family. She's attractive, smart, the hardest working women I ever met. So she always got flowers, notes on her car, taken to dinner and I was always a gentleman to her, opened and closed the door for her the works.
Second she said I did to much for her, I was only replacing the favors she did for me. I cut her grass, if she worked long hours I had dinner, breakfast, lunch what ever cooked for her when she came home. If we ate at her place the dishes were cleaned. We picked each others kids up from school or after school events. She always said thanks and that was it. She said it felt as if I had control over her by doing all this. In our relationship she definitely had control 60/40. I loved it because all her decision were right on so I didn't mind.
Doesn't LOVE count for anything in a relationship any more ??????
In our relationship she definitely had control 60/40. I loved it because all her decision were right on so I didn't mind.
And that's why.
Women want a leader, they want a man to take charge. Not in an aggressive, a55-holish way but in a way that says, clearly, "I am in charge of my own destiny. If you wish to be a part of it, come along. If not, that's ok too."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oh Moe
Doesn't LOVE count for anything in a relationship any more ??????
I cut off all contact last Tuesday after I for the first time was stern with her. I told her tell me you don't love me and I'll F______ leave and you'll never hear from me again. She said I can't do that.
Well she called me Thursday, Friday and Sat. I know she worked Sunday and Monday all day. Today she text me with an attitude about the cell bill that I need to pay, it's not due for another week at least, this was just a call to say I'm pissed you haven't bothered with me. Well I explained the deal to her that it's not due yet and such, Well with in a hour she's apologizing and telling me she going to call when she's done. She's totally on edge, lost so much weight she sickly looking. I think she's about to crash because her own words are she still loves me and she's fighting it. She can't handle her life and raising three kids. She has asked me many times to stop loving her so I can be her friend that she needs that so bad right now. I out of habit ask her how you doing and I get a short nasty I'll be ok.
I am sure she's going to call soon. What do I do??????????
Everyday not making contact it's getting easier and easier, BUT I do still love her and sure don't want her to crash.
Since NC last Tuesday the Ex has contacted me nearly every day.
Well she stopped by yesterday to give my daughter something needed for today.
I had written a small note to her weeks ago but never had the opportunity to give it to her, it was short saying I acted like a jerk the last several weeks, she was mad and said I didn't and it was fine but I did and she knows it I also told her that at this time I thought the break up was a good idea and I agreed with it. She read it and couldn't believe it. She said she knew this was the hardest thing I've ever done. She said she is almost to the point where she can see me face to face and be comfortable. She also said she knew I was doing the NC thing because it's been over a week since I contacted her and it was OK to stop by and see her at work.
She also talked about her heart and mind again and said she didn't want me to get my hopes up but loved me from her heart and she knows that now.
How long to I wait to contact her or bring up a date ???
I believe in my heart she will contact within the next week or to.
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