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Dont Understand what she is thinking?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Old 15th August 2009, 10:32 AM   #1
Darren09
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Dont Understand what she is thinking?

I have been staying no contact with my ex girlfriend as the whole calling and texting 24/7 was getting me no where! anyway she doesnt contact at all until i recieved a text message last night it just had a unhappy face in the text thats it ......... Anyway i was going to reply but i just couldnt think of anything to say that i havent already said? So i decided to not respond to see what happened next........ nothing? so was i right to ignore this somewhat effortless attempt at contacting me? was she just trying to get a reaction as i have gone so quiet? Or is she really saying that she is unhappy. Dont know what to think at all as i miss her so much and i hate this.

Any responses Thanks because my head is spinning.
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Old 15th August 2009, 10:35 AM   #2
northstar1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darren09 View Post
I have been staying no contact with my ex girlfriend as the whole calling and texting 24/7 was getting me no where! anyway she doesnt contact at all until i recieved a text message last night it just had a unhappy face in the text thats it ......... Anyway i was going to reply but i just couldnt think of anything to say that i havent already said? So i decided to not respond to see what happened next........ nothing? so was i right to ignore this somewhat effortless attempt at contacting me? was she just trying to get a reaction as i have gone so quiet? Or is she really saying that she is unhappy. Dont know what to think at all as i miss her so much and i hate this.

Any responses Thanks because my head is spinning.
Yes, good job on ignoring it. Her lame text is just a lazy way to fish for more attention. You stopped contacting her, so she put the bait back out there. Minimal effort indeed.
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Old 15th August 2009, 11:02 AM   #3
boogieboy
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How long have you been texting her after the breakup?
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Old 15th August 2009, 11:08 AM   #4
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Dont know what to think at all as i miss her so much and i hate this.
Continue no contact until this sentence goes away. You should see significant improvement in two months, if you can make the rest of your OP go away by actively diverting thoughts you have of her. As long as you remain 'stuck', those random reminders will forever haunt you. Clean sweep is best. The goal is to heal you. Good luck
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Old 15th August 2009, 11:13 AM   #5
Thaddeus
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Originally Posted by northstar1 View Post
Yes, good job on ignoring it. Her lame text is just a lazy way to fish for more attention. You stopped contacting her, so she put the bait back out there. Minimal effort indeed.
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Originally Posted by carhill View Post
Continue no contact until this sentence goes away. You should see significant improvement in two months, if you can make the rest of your OP go away by actively diverting thoughts you have of her. As long as you remain 'stuck', those random reminders will forever haunt you. Clean sweep is best. The goal is to heal you. Good luck
Northstar and Carhill have it spot-on (as usual... they're pretty smart).

What's going on inside her head is a mystery... so much so, that even she probably can't figure it out. My sense is that she's trying to keep her hooks into you to satisfy her own ego, but all that is irrelevant. Maintain NC. (But you already knew that anyway.)
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Old 15th August 2009, 11:37 AM   #6
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woman are such a complicated species....a woman can destroy you with you wondering whats going on inside her head.
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Old 15th August 2009, 12:00 PM   #7
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woman are such a complicated species....a woman can destroy you with you wondering whats going on inside her head.
Only if you allow it.

You can choose to forever wonder what's going on inside her head, or you can choose to live your best life regardless of what you think she's thinking.

Choice, as always, is yours.
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Old 15th August 2009, 12:31 PM   #8
Darren09
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i wouldnt say we were texting each other after the break up. more like i was just trying whatever i could to get her back. I was calling her and texting her telling her how much i loved her and that i wanted only her. It got me no where and i just could not understand how she could walk away from me when all i want is to be with her. but anyway i got fed up of trying. believe me tryed so hard! she is my first real love and i didnt wanna let go. still cant. But now i know didnt just sit back and watch her leave i put up a fight!! so now i just really dont understand the text she sent. i thought she would just leave it really now. obviously sometimes she does think of me but a very tiny amount.
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Old 15th August 2009, 12:36 PM   #9
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i wouldnt say we were texting each other after the break up. more like i was just trying whatever i could to get her back. I was calling her and texting her telling her how much i loved her and that i wanted only her. It got me no where and i just could not understand how she could walk away from me when all i want is to be with her. but anyway i got fed up of trying. believe me tryed so hard! she is my first real love and i didnt wanna let go. still cant. But now i know didnt just sit back and watch her leave i put up a fight!! so now i just really dont understand the text she sent. i thought she would just leave it really now. obviously sometimes she does think of me but a very tiny amount.
I'm sure she does think of you. However, unless she is banging down your door to reconcile, then what she is doing amounts to little.
Texting is a lazy way to keep contact open from the other person.
Some like to do it just know you're still out there, or if they are manipulative, to stroke their ego when you reply.

HOnestly, you will drive yourself nuts trying to figure out the point/reason/context for her text.

I'm not saying your ex has a motive or is playing games, but she's not giving you a strong signal she is looking to reconcile.
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Old 15th August 2009, 12:43 PM   #10
Darren09
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Thanks northstar the reason i didnt reply to her is because to me it was just a pathetic text message. It wasnt even worthy of a reply. what could i of possibly of said to that anyway ?? its just stupid. I always look into things probably too much. because i was thinking hmmm maybe she is unhappy.... maybe shes trying to say something?? BUT MAN!! IF SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING SHE WOULD SURELY MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT THAN THAT! ARGGGHHHH ok am calm again. i just wish she would just not bother textin if thats all she can come up with.
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Old 15th August 2009, 12:50 PM   #11
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IF SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING SHE WOULD SURELY MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT THAN THAT!
Maybe, maybe not. Plenty of people expect you to be able to read their minds.

Is there a way you can block her number so you won't get these texts all the time? I have no idea how to do it, it might depend on your phone or service provider.
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Old 15th August 2009, 12:56 PM   #12
Darren09
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Maybe, maybe not. Plenty of people expect you to be able to read their minds.

Is there a way you can block her number so you won't get these texts all the time? I have no idea how to do it, it might depend on your phone or service provider.
I blocked her off everything except my phone. Only way i can stop contact totally is if i ring my service provider and change my number? Then the only way she could contact me is if she turned up at my perants house and knocked on door. I am so undecided what to do? I finding it really hard to delete this girl out of my life completley? this hurts like hell
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:03 PM   #13
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OK, look, she's in her early-mid 20's and you've apparently been her only BF for six years. She wants to see what's out there and dumped you.

Accept that

If her being with other men and disrespecting you does not break that emotional bond, you have to take a hard look at yourself and why you still 'love' her. You don't have to change your number, merely enter 'no talkie to this b*tch' for her name in the phone and, each time she texts or calls, you'll be reminded of why you're NC.
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Old 15th August 2009, 1:40 PM   #14
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It wasnt even worthy of a reply. what could i of possibly of said to that anyway ?? its just stupid. I always look into things probably too much. because i was thinking hmmm maybe she is unhappy.... maybe shes trying to say something?? BUT MAN!! IF SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING SHE WOULD SURELY MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT THAN THAT! ARGGGHHHH ok am calm again. i just wish she would just not bother textin if thats all she can come up with.
Are you still interested in her? If not, then continue with NC. But, if you're still interested in her, I know this goes against the conventional wisdom of the others, but if I received a text like that and I was still interested I would actually reply back with "Do you want to talk about working out our problems? Answer, Yes or No. Otherwise stop contacting me." This type of reply brings the issue to the forefront and you will know whether it's worth continuing or moving on.
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