[lucy loo]

I always find that men have the same patterns when it comes to me. They pursue me and chase me like mad in the beginning and once they get me they slowly back off and then eventually dissapear out of my life.. Iv dated several men over the last couple of years but none of my experiences turn into rleationships. Im 22. Has anyone else had the same experience???????????????

[lucy loo]

Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag????

[steveraves]

Because most girls do get turned off when you say that all your interested in is a good F$ck.

If he told you all he wanted from you was sex, would you have given it to him?

[lucy loo]

so you deceive them for months on end knowing all you want is sex and nothing else..

[steveraves]

Originally Posted by lucy loo

so you deceive them for months on end knowing all you want is sex and nothing else..

Would I do that? No! It would be to exhausting.

You didn't answer my question though. If he told you all he wanted from you was sex would you have agreed?

I suspect though that if this went on for months, and not a couple of weeks, it was something more than sex that turned him away...

[lucy loo]

I would be able to recognise that it was just sex and not get too attached... what else could make a man turn away or suddenly dissapear.. if it was not the case that he was not just after an easy few shags

[steveraves]

Exactly how long are we talking about before you had sex?

Had it gotten to the point where you loved one another?

[lucy loo]

aftere three dates (3 weeks) he stuck around for months afer that though and then one day i didnt reply to his text (he asked no quetions) he went on holiday and I never heard from him again

[steveraves]

If I read what you wrote correctly after 3 dates you had sex. My guess is there wasn't much there relationship wise.. Maybe in the future try waiting longer, go on more dates, develop a relationship and then have sex..

[Hkizzle]

Originally Posted by lucy loo

Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag????

The answer to your question is success ratio. I make it a policy of mine not to lead girls on, and I find that when I go on dates with girls I can take 80% of them what a relationship and would be hurt if I just had sex and moved on.

Men know that whilst some women are happy to have casual sex, their success ratio drops significantly if they don't let the girl think there's at least the potential for a relationship.

It's not too much trouble for many guys. They like the process of the entire chase, and the short term companionship.

Deception is common in human behavior, just need to spot it. But I find women are very bad at spotting which men are just playing games, especially once they are attracted.

I was thinking of writing a book about how men operate. A lot of my female friends go through what you go through. It's a global trend.

[Hkizzle]

Originally Posted by steveraves

If I read what you wrote correctly after 3 dates you had sex. My guess is there wasn't much there relationship wise.. Maybe in the future try waiting longer, go on more dates, develop a relationship and then have sex..

Steve makes a good point.

The main difference between men and women is this. Whilst women will often also have casual sex and not want more from a guy, a woman generally won't go to a great deal of effort or deception to get the sex.

A man however early on will classify a woman into either:

1) Just potential sex partner
2) Someone they want to have a proper relationship with.

Whether a girl is classfied in the first group depends on two things. The integrity of the man, so if you're with a big player then you could be the nicest girl in the world and still be seen as just a sex partner.

The other thing is how the girl interacts with the guy. This she can control, not to have sex too soon, not to seem too easy.

The main thing is, don't assume what you feel is what men feel. Generally women qualify a guy early on, and won't have sex with a guy unless they are interested. Men don't have to be interested to have sex.

[WineCountry]

Originally Posted by lucy loo

Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag????

Are you kidding me?? A lot of men are dogs, but they certainly wont TELL you that up front.

Next time, dont give it up for a while. The pigs probably wont hang around that long, and you can weed them out.

[Hkizzle]

Originally Posted by lucy loo

Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag????

Men my spelling was terrible, sorry for not proof reading.

The answer to your question is success ratio. I make it a policy of mine not to lead girls on, and I find that when I go on dates with girls I can tell 80% of them want a relationship and would be hurt if I just had sex and moved on.

Men know that whilst some women are happy to have casual sex, their success ratio drops significantly if they don't let the girl think there's at least the potential for a relationship.

It's not too much trouble for many guys. They like the process of the entire chase, and the short term companionship.

Deception is common in human behavior, just need to spot it. But I find women are very bad at spotting which men are just playing games, especially once they are attracted.

I was thinking of writing a book about how men operate. A lot of my female friends go through what you go through. It's a global trend.

[v g]

Originally Posted by Hkizzle

Deception is common in human behavior, just need to spot it. But I find women are very bad at spotting which men are just playing games, especially once they are attracted.

I was thinking of writing a book about how men operate. A lot of my female friends go through what you go through. It's a global trend.

Hkizzle, please share with us how women can spot which men are playing games, especially once they are attracted. And thanks in advance.

[lucy loo]

I would like to know too... how can you spot this...