[Battlewax]

There seems to be a common theme with my ex and I. We won't speak to each other for a couple of weeks, then suddenly texts and lunch. Then back to not speaking again.

At first I thought it was cool and we where on the road to getting back together. Ah, nostalgia... it's a bitch. Couple that with the fact that when we do text and talk it's as if nothing happened. Then back to NC. Of course I didn't pay attention until I realized it was me making the contact. At least on the initial portion of it.

Anyways, after doing the same thing again last night I realized that's not what I want. I'm not sure what the hell I want from her. I'm angry at the whole situation. I kinda tried the NC thing... sorta. I always hate how I feel afterwards.

I want this to be done with. I can deal with not having her around. The thing that is eating at me is I haven't gotten a chance to say my peace.
I can't bottle my feelings up any more and I feel that if I keep on this path of not saying what I want then I'm going to explode. I mean literally in a bad way.

I am entertaining the thought of getting it all down and putting it on paper. None of this, write and never send **** either. I want it out there I want her to read it and I want to be done with this whole idiotic mess so I can move on.

Thoughts?

[hopesndreams]

After you do write the closure letter, just sit on it for a few days, and when you are sure, 100% sure, then let her have it.

[asuman]

"I kinda tried the NC thing... sorta."

That's like kinda trying the pregnancy thing... sorta. If you broke NC, it wasn't NC.

Write your letter and give yourself 2-4 weeks before actually sending it to her.

[Thaddeus]

Slightly different take here.

Write the letter. Exorcise those demons in it. Then sit on it for a couple of weeks. Re-read it. Then destroy it. DO NOT send it to her.

Saying your "peace" (shouldn't that be "piece"?) is just an attempt at "getting the last word." But I can promise you, it won't end there. She'll have a comeback, then you'll respond to the comeback, she'll respond to that... and so on, and so on.

But you already knew that, didn't you?

By the way, I don't necessarily agree to this:

If you broke NC, it wasn't NC.

I think it depends on the content and the context.

For instance, if you communicate to your ex that, "I have a box of your stuff at my place. Please come by at such-and-such a time to pick it up," is light-years away from, "I am SO done with you. I want nothing to do with you ever again! But my heart still aches for the way you broke up with me... etc etc."

Like the rest of life and relationships, context is everything.

[Battlewax]

Originally Posted by asuman

"I kinda tried the NC thing... sorta."

That's like kinda trying the pregnancy thing... sorta. If you broke NC, it wasn't NC.

Write your letter and give yourself 2-4 weeks before actually sending it to her.

Perhaps LC would have been more appropriate.

The reason I say all this is because a good friend (lol ex, different one) told me to look back at the relationship we had. Her exact phrase was, "You always wait for someone else's decision before you make your own."

Sadly, I'm kind of doing that now.