[cheatingfriend]

Hi all, first i just want to say sorry if this goes on for a bit!

Anyway i just wanted to post this to get another perspective on my situation.

I was due to get married next year but me and my fiance split a few weeks ago and I am in the process of moving out. I dont think the relationship can be saved but my main worry is that my ex was cheating on me with a close friend and that they are still seeing each other.
It all started a few months ago when I noticed a change in him. We were hardly spending anytime together due to work and his hobby!! Anyway we spoke about and said we would try to work things out. One day i got a bit suspicious and i checked his phone ( i know i shouldnt have) and i found a message which was under a boys name in his phone but it was the same intials and a shortened version of my friends name, if that makes sense.

We all work together and the message was something along the lines of how that person would rather move than have their heart broken when i pass you on the stairs or see you with her. i didnt say anything to him about it at the time.

A few weeks went by and i checked the phone again and found another message from this same boys name saying that she had a fight with her husband ( the text mentioned the name of my my friends husband who i suspected the first text had come from) and i need you. I know that my friend and her husband were having problems as she had told me.

I ended up confronting him and he swore blind nothing was going on and he even went back and told my friend who also told me there was nothing going on. I was pretty embarassed and ended up taking their word for it.

Again a few weeks later i checked again and found a message saying you can come round coz my husband is out. Me and ex had big row over this and he phoned my friend in front of me and told he and she said that the text was meant for her brother as he and her husband dont get on.

Since then we have split and i am still in the house we share whilst sorting a place to live and the other night the ex was drunk so i checked the phone and found a message from her under her own name saying 'babe i know its hard but dont text me from home'

Just a few other things i noticed, they both smoke and spend a lot of time in the smoking area at work together, on a work night out he came and picked me up and i noticed him watching her most of the time he was out and not paying any attention to me.

I know the relationship is over but this girl is a close friend and i also work with her daily! Just wanted others opinion on if i am putting 2 and 2 together and coming out with 5 as i dont like the thought of a close friend lying like that especially as she is married with a child.

Sorry its so long x x

[Lyssa]

The texts say it all.

It's hard seeing that you work at the same place as both of them. If I were you, I can't and won't be able to be friends with my so-called friend.

[cheatingfriend]

Thank you for replying Lyssa, just wanted someone else to tell me im not mad. I am so please I have found this site as I have been keeping this inside due to not been able to speak to any of my friends as they are all friends with this girl.
I am at a loss as to how to find out the truth, it hurts more knowing that if its true they would not admit it.
Thank you so much for the reply. X

[Lyssa]

Originally Posted by cheatingfriend

Thank you for replying Lyssa, just wanted someone else to tell me im not mad. I am so please I have found this site as I have been keeping this inside due to not been able to speak to any of my friends as they are all friends with this girl.
I am at a loss as to how to find out the truth, it hurts more knowing that if its true they would not admit it.
Thank you so much for the reply. X

No worries. Sometimes we need an outside opinion on situations we already know that is not right.

If you don't mind my asking you, why did you break off the engagement? Is it because of the signs you saw?

[cheatingfriend]

To be honest i was fed up with the constant thought that there may be something going on. Everytime he said he was working late I would wonder what he was doing, i would watch my friend texting and wonder if she was texting him. Just decided cant live like that.
I am still pretty gutted even tho I know its prob for the best. Its hard to lose my partner and a friend too. I just wish i had the proof to confront them so that they could not lie and i could let it rest x

[Lyssa]

Originally Posted by cheatingfriend

To be honest i was fed up with the constant thought that there may be something going on. Everytime he said he was working late I would wonder what he was doing, i would watch my friend texting and wonder if she was texting him. Just decided cant live like that.
I am still pretty gutted even tho I know its prob for the best. Its hard to lose my partner and a friend too. I just wish i had the proof to confront them so that they could not lie and i could let it rest x

So you followed your instincts hey?

To lose two of the most important people (I'm going to assume you and the girl were pretty close) in your life - that's tough to get through esp knowing that they cheated on you.

Seeing that you have broken up the engagement, I think there's no point in gathering proof to tell them you know what's going on. At this rate, best bet would be to get through this. I'm sure you are hurt from all this.