So, long story short, my mom is a paranoid schizophrenic. Never been treated or diagnosed, but I have done enough reading online- and she refuses treatment.
Anyway, 2 yrs ago my dad started an affair with a co-worker. And he told the OW about my mom's "problems". That prompted him to get a divorce 1 year ago, after 30 yrs of marriage.
What pisses me off- is my dad's gf (the same one he had an affair with). I am not bitter about the affair, I want him to be happy- but what the other woman is doing really upsets me. My mom is foreign, & she's still trying to learn computers/email & such. The OW (after given account information from my dad) has limited her AOL account to 1 minute of time a day. When the divorce was finalized, she called & left a voicemail on the house phone just laughing- because my dad had her cell phone shut off. Not only that, she would change her password multiple times a day, just to mess with her. I know this wasn't my mom being paranoid because I was present for it.
She has drove by the house a few times pressing the garage door opener, just to mess with her(Nothing can be done about this because my dad bought her out of the house & she has to move out in August). Calls her new cell # at least 7 times a day (*67) & says nothing. There's no proof cuz my mom's new cell is a minute phone & she doesn't get a bill for it.
I don't think this is right, and it upsets me, they are playing off her mental illness- & that's not okay. Oh & I have heard a bunch of voice mails from the gf saying "ha ha ha we are watching you" - just to make my mom even more paranoid.
I have stopped all communication with my dad, because he is giving his gf access to upset my mom, because she can play off her mental illness. That's bull**** & not fair, we are not talking about a character flaw- it's a mental illness!
God, this woman is 53 & my dad 55, yet I feel like I am in highschool- dealing with a bunch of immature brats.
Maybe this is a vent, no idea what to do since my dad won't talk to me anymore.
Can you get the calls traced? Make a log of everytime the ow drives by or calls your moms phone. Go to the police and get them to make note of it. Also if you can get a camera to servailence your property and the street infront of your house so youll have tape evidence of her driving buy repeatedly.
This is harassment and your mom shouldnt take that ish. Your father is well...im not gonna say what i think of him for pulling this but you say these people are in their 50s wow ....well i shouldnt be too surprised there are people that age and older who have acted worse.
Your father and his girlfriend are just plain cruel!! It's bloody disguisting what they are doing to your mother. They should be ashamed of themselves!!! Reading this made my stomach lurch.
Yes, get evidence, as much as you can and file a harrassment suit against them both!
You have done the right thing by cutting your dad out of your life. He's an a-hole and so is his girlfriend!!! For your father to do this, to a woman he married and loved, had children with, is just plain sick and shows that your father is messed up as well.
Does anyone know if it's possible to get a phone bill for a minute phone? It's one of those cheap $30 phones u can pick up at walmart- the provider is Net10. She doesn't get a statement in the mail for it, it's just pay-as-you-go.
Does anyone know if it's possible to get a phone bill for a minute phone? It's one of those cheap $30 phones u can pick up at walmart- the provider is Net10. She doesn't get a statement in the mail for it, it's just pay-as-you-go.
There should be a customer service number on the back of the card.
Calls can be "traced" or call history found for any phone.
Sometimes the police have to get involved to get it but it is available.
You should bar access to your mom. Get your mom a new phone number and do not give it to him.
Let him know he has to go through you to talk to her from now on.
And as everyone else here said: document this crap and press charges.
The fact that she is the mother of his child and married to him for decades and he would turn around and treat her with such contempt is stomach churning.
She has a mental illness and deserves understanding.
He walked away - he found someone else - enough already.
UGH.
There should be a customer service number on the back of the card.
Calls can be "traced" or call history found for any phone.
Sometimes the police have to get involved to get it but it is available.
You should bar access to your mom. Get your mom a new phone number and do not give it to him.
Let him know he has to go through you to talk to her from now on.
And as everyone else here said: document this crap and press charges.
The fact that she is the mother of his child and married to him for decades and he would turn around and treat her with such contempt is stomach churning.
She has a mental illness and deserves understanding.
He walked away - he found someone else - enough already.
UGH.
Going to look into this today- I'm sure there's a way to track the phone calls. But I'm worried that it will go no-where. Reason being, when u buy one of those cheap phones, it's already registered under a different name. Even though when she bought the phone & I set up the phone for her, on other people's caller ID it showed a different name. My dad's gf could easily say "Oh I was calling XXXX- and that's not the name of his xwife".
The good news is, she has a "real" phone, but my dad does not have the #. And this is the exact reason she hasn't given him the #, because she knew the gf would get it from his phone and harass her. She bought the minute phone just to work out details of the divorce.
I will buy surveillance cameras, but not till my mom moves out. This isn't "her turf" so to speak, since it's not her house & was bought out. But if this Sh*t continues, when she is in her own place- I'm sure I can gather evidence.
Be careful with regards to cameras. You could be in legal trouble if you do not own the house. I am not sure what to advise on that except going to talk to a police officer, or perhaps a private investigator.
And I agree with everyone else, you need to start logging all the harassment. Write EVERYTHING down. Drivebys, garage opening, anything. Where you can get proof (like the recorded messages), pile it up, or if it can't be saved long term, contact the police and ask them to witness it.
You may want to take some time and speak with a police officer. Get to know them, explain the whole situation. Ask what options you have, and if you should call him directly about anything that happens.
PS: Whatever you do, don't go in to the police station all amped up right after an incident happens, if the cops don't know about the situation and you go in "DAMMIT THEY OPENED THE GARAGE DOOR AGAIN!" they may peg you as the crazy one and that's the last thing you want. Be an advocate for your disabled mom and be calm and rational and they will more than likely be happy to help you out.
Not that it excuses their behavior, but could this possibly have been brought on by things your mother is doing that you perhaps don't know about? Like could this just be degrading into a tit-for-tat between them?
Again, doesn't excuse their actions, but knowing your mother is ill I was curious if maybe she was doing little harassing things to them as well and they are retaliating.
God, it sounds like your dad and his girlfriend have mental health problems, not your mother!
Seriously though, if your mum does indeed suffer from schizophrenia, this sort of stress really isn't good for her, concentrate on supporting her ahead of anything else.
I would find out where the OW lives and start * leaving * things on the porch. Odd peculiar things . Like some uncracked raw eggs, also unleash a jar of cockroaches or some other pesky hard to resist rodent.
Order the OW a mass amount of catalogs ...of obnoxious things she would NEVER want .
And be sure to call and when she answers say you are the Motel where Mr and Mrs stayed ( of course she didn't stay there ) and say the woman left some lingere in the bed and you just had to call to have the Mrs. retrieve it.
Notify the *** that the house smells like crack.
Gosh I could go on forever !
Some of these ideas might not be right or ethical but hey nothing like some tasty revenge....
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"how do you gently break up with someone???..
Thats like saying how do I gently drive a monster truck through a china/glass/crystal shop.
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Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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