[HereWeGo]

I have been dating a guy for about six weeks now. We see each other once a week. There seems to be a mutual attraction -- he seems to really like me when we are together, and we have initiated dates equally. The only thing that concerns me is that he has never called me... not once. Even when he initiates plans, it is either in person or via email.

Should I take it as a bad sign that he never calls me? He is extremely shy and inexperienced around women. I don't think he has ever been in a relationship or had any sexual encounters. He was unbelievably nervous around me for the first few weeks, but seems a bit more comfortable now. Since I attributed the initial lack of contact to his extreme shyness, I kind of expected him to have called me by this point.

Do you think that no phone conversation is unusual? I really like him, but I would like to guard my feelings if he is not interested.

[Tony T]

His reluctance to call you doesn't seem to have affected your ability to date him, although one date per week after six weeks doesn't indicate a passionate affair.

If you're going to do this right, you need to clearly tell him that you would like him to call you...that you enjoy talking to him. Let him know he needs no reason to call...and give him encouragement by letting him know you just like to know you are in his thoughts. Tell him it's OK if the calls are brief. He needs to be told.

If after you have very clearly told him of your desire and cushioned it with all the caviats I have stated above he still doesn't call, it would be my guess he's either extremely shy, petrified he won't know what to say, is just not a "telephone" person, doesn't have the time, or is just not interested enough to talk.

There are people who just don't like using the phone. But whatever the reason for his non-calling, I think you should probe and get an answer. If you can't at least have this kind of level of communication after a month and a half of dating, you are probably with the wrong dude.

In 99 percent of cases, a guy who is interested in a lady would definitely call her two or three times a week. Sorry, but you got the other one percent.

[Bill]

I would have to agree with Tony that this guy could be uninterested. One date a week?!!