[burnwithme]

Odd that all of my posts since I got on this site are about big problems, and are long intricate posts, but being the admin/mod of a fairly large internet forum myself, I don't think thats a bad thing

Anyway. I am VERY, VERY against the pharmaceutical corporations. I dont take cough medicine, aspirin, ibuprofen, etc etc. They are just MASSIVE drug dealers... Which is kinda funny, because i do [natural] drugs myself. Anyway. Continuing.

The last year has been extremely rough. My mother tried committing suicide in front of me, i wrestled with my [now ex] girlfriend to keep her from downing a bottle of sleeping pills, we broke up, I was in the most depressed and painful state i had EVER felt in my entire life, thought very hard about suicide myself, my childhood dog died, one of my best friends died this summer, i got arrested the first time, etc etc.

So having talked with my mom, and some other people, it appears that i have probably been swinging in and out of depression for quite some time, and not exactly fully coming out of it. I'm in college, but I don't know what to major in. The only thing, as far as i know right now, that i've had a passion in my whole life, is driving. I love cars, but i don't want to be a mechanic or anything.

I can't decide on a career choice... I've literally considered like... everything. Graphic designer, multimedia designer, computer programmer, astronomer, chef, i dunno. You think of it, i've probably considered it.

But i just can't hold my passion in anything for long enough. For anywhere between a couple days to a couple months, I'll get really into something.. for example, most recently i was really into programming. i tried teaching myself to program for about a week, then just lost interest... Meh.

So, would antidepressants really help me that much, help me find a direction in my life? The reason my mom tried killing herself is that she waned off her antideps and went straight downhill...

Since we're biologically related, I don't want that to happen to me. I would, as far as i know, rather live my life like it is now, than have to pay money to those ****ing corporations and be constantly monetarily "addicted" to them, because waning off my meds would cause me to crash like that.


So... ideas?

[flash582]

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression when I was 39, and had probably had it for years, but 39 was the age I stopped drinking, etc. for the most part, and I wasn't masking the problem any longer.

It sounds as if you've been self medicating for quite a while. You need to seriously stop taking any natural supplements before you can be diagnosed in one way or another. It will take 3 weeks or so before your body chemistry equalizes after you stop.

And I would recommend that you seek the advice of a really good doctor who has a lot of experience with depression .. anti-depressants have been prescribed like valium was prescribed in the 60's.

Not all anti-depressants are created equal, either. I take welbutrin, which is also used to quit smoking. It has an "upper" effect and works on your brain chemistry much differently than the Prozac family of drugs. Only a good Doctor can determine what is right for you.

Do NOT try to self-diagnose this ailment. If your mom has depression, then you may have it as well, as it does tend to run in the family.

See a Doctor.