[sshish216]

I am divorced 8 years from an emotionally, mentally abusive addict. We have 3 kids. He is still using. The kids want him in their life (until he does something to make them angry, at which time they come to me to complain) He has done things to me during the 8 years we have been divorced to hurt me financially as well. I get alimony, child support. Now the kids wants him in their life (kids are in early 20's) but I refuse to be in the same room with him. So when there is something involving my kids, either my ex will go or I will go. Never will I go knowing he is there. My son has said that his father has quit pot (other things) but still drinks a little (keeping the addiction going). My kids are fooled by him. I am not. He has not gotten any counseling as far as I know. The guy is 52 years old and has always smoked pot, did drugs/drink all his life. As far as I am concerned, he is still in a full blown addiction. There is no sugar coating it. I have been through counseling.

Call it immature if you want, but after all I have been through, why do I have to be around him? I am not comfortable at all. A friend told me that there is no reason why after 8 years we can't be in the same room together. HA She wasn't abused by him and it's easy for others to say. I know at some point, whether one of my kids gets married or graduates school, that I will HAVE to go. But when its not a HAVE to, I don't. Am I missing out on things? Sure some things. But I was always there for my kids in the day to day stuff, the important things. I was the one who raised them, not him, he was out partying, so I am missing very little.

Opinions are appreciated
Thank you