[Tinkerbelll]

Ok.
So, I've been reflecting lately about the breakup and everything..
There are a couple of things I'd like to share with you.
It's been 16 days NC so far: I just kept him in the msn (without ever IM him of course..) and I'll explain you why.
I AM NEVER EVER GOING TO CONTACT HIM.
I won't break NC and I'm not struggling against this. I don't feel any need to do it..the ball is his court and I'm perfectly aware of that.
The matter is that I don't need to kick him off of my life, and most importantly I don't need to erase in my mind all the good times we had together.
Actually, I feel good about it. About having met him, having shared great moments together, having had fantastic sex with him.
I'm ok with that.
I know he's not interested at all at my point of my view, and it's ok, I won't tell him anything about that.
I've assumed that he's not coming back, and I'm fine with that also.
But I warn you: I no longer feel anger towards him..I'm more likely experimenting loss, but somehow I like this feeling as well.
I don't want to close the door: love should be a place to give, and whenever he will feel like, I 'll be there to explain him that I'm grateful we met, I'm grateful that we had those great moments together and I will wish him well.
My life is going on anyway.
Yes, maybe I'm just healed.

[moonmoon]

i wont be on completely level footing until I talk to her again. and I would be the most happy to be with her. Maybe at least partially more happy than I am right now to hear from her that she unequivocally doesnt want to work things out.

[electriclove]

I like your different stance on NC.
I wish I had your attitude; you seem well on the road to recovery.
It has also been 16 days NC for me but I still find it a daily battle not to pick up the phone and ring him
I don't think I will though because I've said all I want to say, he knows how I feel. To use your expression - the ball is in his court.
Every day I will him to ring me, but its never going to happen.

But if he ever did ring me I don't think I could close the door on my ex either. I spent nearly 3 years of my life with this guy and he was such a massive part of it. There was a lot of love there and I don't want things to be bitter between us. It kills me sometimes if I think too much about how he remembers me. I just think he has bad memories of us, where as I still carry all the good.

I wish I felt the way you do. Wish I wasn't struggling every day. I guess I'm not in the acceptance stage yet.
How long have you and your ex been broken up?

[Tinkerbelll]

Well, he's the guy I "felt in love" with when I was 8 years old!
Today, I am 30
Somehow, as i told him, he was a dream that had become true..
We met again a couple of moths ago, started dating etc..But I felt that while I was getting involved day past day, he was becoming more and more distant..
I was feeling the storm on its way, but when it finally arrived I realized I was still unprepared..That afternoon, how could I forget his eyes..they told me everything in an instant, without need to say anything..