Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
He put his exes/former FWBs numbers in his new phone!! I am PISSED
So how do you feel about this? Would this make you mad too? My boyfriend got a new phone and had to manually put each individual number into the new phone. I did NOT find this out by snooping. He had his phone out and I got a glimpse of the phonebook and saw a name of a former F*** buddy. I wouldn't have thought much of it if not for the fact that I know he just got this phone and must have wanted to keep her number for some reason! You tell me!!! Also, I told him I saw "them" (plural form even though I just saw the one) and apparently there are more than one in there! Tricked him!
I didn't say anything about it initially but eventually just blew up. He claims that he only put their numbers in his phone because he wanted to be sure "to avoid their calls" Sorry, but I wasn't born last night. I'm thinking he is keeping them in there for a rainy day if you know what I mean. He tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for even getting upset over it but how could you not.
Who is cool with their SO putting former FWBs/exes in their phones?! NOT ME.
So I guess my question now is what to do from here....from former relationships I learn to be on the look out for red flags. Is this a red flag? I'm worried that it is!
When he's not looking, grab the phone and delete the numbers.
if he ONE: challenges you about this, or TWO: puts them back in again - then it's a red flag.
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When he's not looking, grab the phone and delete the numbers.
if he ONE: challenges you about this, or TWO: puts them back in again - then it's a red flag.
Hahahaha, I'm totally for this.. I usually woudn't be, but what a great way to find out if he's trying to talk to them. Idk about you, but I don't regularly go through my phone book to check numbers. If he confronts you about it, it's likely he was trying to talk to them.. I mean, how else would you notice?
I'm not up for tricking people into being honest. How recent are the exes? How often do they call him? Now there's a question for him...if they're not calling and you've been together for a while, then there should be no need for him to program the numbers in his phone, right? My vote is that he's got the gals on 'stand-by'.
I don't really think it is all that cool keeping numbers of ex's buuutttt...........
I happen to have some of my exw's family in my phone and other people's numbers and names in my phone that I never want to here from again.
I put a Z in front of the name so it goes to the bottom of the list.
If the name and number isn't programed in then I would most likely answer the phone if they called as I wouldn't know who was calling..
The way it is now it shows ZBob for a friend of mine that I don't like each time he calls..
To me the key isn't whether or not he has them it is whether or not he uses the numbers..
He could easily write them down in an email and send them to himself or put them in a word doc so it isn't like he wouldn't know how to get in touch with his ex's..
Does he call his ex's ?.. or do they call him ?.. that is what matters..
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Well on the flip side of this, I am not one to delete numbers of people from my phone. The way my phone works is that when someone calls and I have their number I can see who it is. Plus my phone is synced with all my contacts on my computer.
I can honestly say if my gf took my phone and invaded my space by deleting numbers I would kick her ass to the curb so fast her head would spin.
I would get very upset, too...
but then, again, if there is someone whose calls I'd rather avoid I'd make sure to keep their number in my phone.
And if my SO got a call from any girl from a number he is not keeping in his phone, I'd get suspicious and wonder whether he's been hiding something.
Also, most people who have mischief in mind will list theri possible affair partner's number under different names that do not sound suspicious.
Go into their names and change the number to 911 - You will soon find out if he tries to call them and if he does he will have to explain to the police why he called them!!
It does not sound right though and if he was that worried about them calling he would change his number
So how do you feel about this? Would this make you mad too?
Yes, I would. Only time I'd expect to be ok with a gf of mine having an X on her phone is if she shares a child with him and they need to stay in contact for that reason only.
So it sounds like most of you don't think I was being unreasonable...
My boyfriend and I have got into heated arguments over this for the past few days. He told me last night that he couldn't be in a relationship with someone that insists he is a liar and won't give him a chance. I told him that he can either get his stories straight or lose me because his versions of things that have happened with this one girl in particular keeps changing. He still insists that everything he has said has been true (although about a month or so ago he said they had sex twice at the beach and then some other times after that) then now he's trying to say it was just once at the beach. Then he went from saying that he put the numbers in to "avoid them" and now he's saying that he "just didn't think it was a big deal and thought nothing of it." How can all of these be true?
I went to my doctor today for another prescription for antidepressants. I feel this is the trigger to get back on them. I talked to him about it a bit and he said that I need to learn that it is okay to think certain things but not to say them. He said that if I voice my opinions about things like this to this extent that I will never be able to succeed in a relationship. He also thought that if I had no evidence of him cheating or planning to cheat then I was being paranoid. He suggested I read some books on jealousy. Is this really good advice though? To just keep things to yourself?? Maybe I do not have a right to be so upset but it's really hard for me not to be. I keep imagining him with this girl and the more I think about it the sadder and more enraged I become. He claims that he deleted her from his phone but she is still on his facebook friends.
It just sucks to feel like I can never be the only one. It seems like in any relationship I get into, there are always people "waiting in the wings" and it chips away at any bit of self-esteem that I had. He says I have nothing to worry about, but isn't that what they all say?!
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Sorry, but I wasn't born last night. I'm thinking he is keeping them in there for a rainy day if you know what I mean. He tried to turn it around on me like I was the bad guy for even getting upset over it but how could you not. 
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet" - Mae West
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