I'm new to this community and really happy to see many other people in my situation or similar. My wife and I were married 3 years ago and have 2 beautiful children. A year into the marriage it just seemed as though she had lost interest. No hugs, no kisses, no affection at all. I've tried talking to her about it for the past 2 years, yes, 2 years and all I get is I'm crazy. Nothing's wrong. etc... I hate to do this but cannot live miserably anymore. I'm ready to file for divorce. Nice to meet you all. Look forward to any advice.
Thanks so much for your replies. Actually, my wife and I were very, very much involved with each other. We spent hours together, we did everything together. We had our kids before we were married. I mean I buy her flowers every few weeks and have them sent to her job. I run her baths, rub her feet etc.. See my wife has been dealing with some emotional issues for a while now and she and I both know how things can get between us when she is having her downtime. However this time, its been months, almost 4-5 months shes been very distant. She refuses to talk about it, has let herself be consumed by whatever she has been holding inside. So she decides to push me away. She asked me nicely a couple days ago for a divorce. She said she didn't love me anymore and that she wants to be alone. She asked me to care for the kids till shes better. I love her so..I guess it's what I'll do. She wants me to file and promised to sign. I've found a great company that will handle everything for a portion of the price. divorce4her.com is really cool. I recommend it to anyone needing to save money and need a divorce. My wife and I will be great friends, she says she just can't be a wife right now because she doesn't even know who she is. I want to help her and I guess this is what drew me to her in the first place. She basically has to help herself.
Last edited by RecordRoller72; 16th October 2008 at 2:24 PM..
Reason: Spelling error
Depression doesn't need to be faced by your wife alone. She can get help and therapy and you can support her through it or you can leave her through divorce as you have planned.
If she's codependent on you for her happiness, she's just opening herself up to finding someone else to be codependent on in the future. The only difference will be that she has children with you and not this new man.
For the children's sake, you should both figure out ways to work through this.
I don't know the whole situation and I'm sure there is justification for you to just give in to what she's asking. Is that really what you both want? What she wants?
Hormones, children, life changes, etc can play a huge role in her unhappiness. Perhaps she feels forced into the marriage. Who knows. The issue is that these things can be resolved with time, patience, understanding, and professional help.
Do you pressure her? What is your role in her feelings? What can you do to limit or preserve her happiness? Is divorce the only way to resolve this depression she's experiencing?
She asked me nicely a couple days ago for a divorce. She said she didn't love me anymore and that she wants to be alone. She asked me to care for the kids till shes better. I love her so..I guess it's what I'll do. She wants me to file and promised to sign.
Umm, she's probably having an affair. She doesn't want the kids right now because they will interfere with the dream. If you are really smart you will keep acting like the pathetic little puppydog and behind the scenes act fast on the divorce, get custody of your children, position yourself financially.
Act like you will be there for her forever and your strong friendship bond will last forever. Draw up the divorce paperwork giving you full custody of the children, don't offer to share 401K, ect.. As nice and loving as you want to be with this woman, you need to put your feelings aside and think with your head. She is terminating your marriage. She no longer wants to be your wife.
In 3 months or 6 months or a year you will feel very different about your wife. i.e. when you find out she's been banging a co-worker behind your back for 3 months or something.
I'd start snooping if I were you, look at her cell records, text messages, e-mail. Don't let on that you know. You need to be really careful.
Maybe I'm wrong, but we are all human and your story sounds so similar to many on here. Human nature is human nature and when a woman wants to divorce and leave the kids with the guy (mine did)... It's usually the allure of a different lifstyle or partner.
You'd better find out if there's another man in her life for this changes the entire outlook on this scenario. Other posters can best advise you on how to do this and I hope that they will have the opportunity to respond to your thread.
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"I put my Gucci watch on, synchronize the time, and let's rock....LET'S ROCK"!
Umm, she's probably having an affair. She doesn't want the kids right now because they will interfere with the dream. If you are really smart you will keep acting like the pathetic little puppydog and behind the scenes act fast on the divorce, get custody of your children, position yourself financially.
You know, its absolutely amazing the number of husbands that come in here and say that there is no chance that their W is cheating. They say things like: "she is always honest" or "I will see it in her face" or "she doesn't have the time" and especially " I asked her and she said -No".
Withdrawal and anger are some of the key indicators for an affair. First snoop then draw conclusions.
Yes. Do protect yourself financially. Yes. Take your marriage vows seriously and try and find what went wrong.
I regularly recommend posters to view the articles at Marriage builders. com. This will give you a heads up and save you a LOT of trial and error. Read "Why women leave men" in particular.
Come back and keep us posted.
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But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
Hey Recordroller, I can definitely understand what you're going through. It's hard when you feel the other person doesn't respect or love you the way you love and respect them. It's rough but that's why God put so many people on this earth. Pick and chose. Nah, it's just not that easy but believe me when I say, it does get easier. I am newly divorced and honestly couldn't imagine this day. I was actually really afraid of it, but I've grown to love being single. I mean for right now that is, lol. Just take your time. Oh and forgot to mention, I also used divorce4her.com for my divorce. It was really easier than I thought. It helps to save some time and money for your new life, lol. GL
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I feel like I've wasted so much time.
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