[soulconfessions]

Could someone please be so kind to instruct me on how to delete my profile? This just isn't the place for me.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Originally Posted by soulconfessions

Could someone please be so kind to instruct me on how to delete my profile? This just isn't the place for me.

Send an email asking for that to administration.

That said. You are very confused in life. I know you feel like you have missed out on all this stuff in life, but you really havn't. Focus on what's really important before you lose it forever.

You say that your Husband would be more hurt by a divorce than an affair? If your happiness requires one or the other... you have a big problem on your hands.

Find a professional to help you sort things out! Your using a cheap affair to bolster your failing self esteem. That is like using crack, it helps for a brief moment, then leaves you worse off!

Best of Luck!

[whichwayisup]

It's rare that profiles get deleted.

Sorry that you didn't find the support you were looking for on here. Maybe one day in afew weeks you can come back and read the responses, when you're really ready to make a choice.

Good luck.

PS If there's one thing that you got out of posting here - COUNSELLING! Make that call tomorrow and start working on yourself. Sort out your past issues, and maybe then you'll wake up out of your affair-fog and realize that you DO love your husband and want that life with him.

[soulconfessions]

Originally Posted by Untouchable_Fire

Find a professional to help you sort things out! Your using a cheap affair to bolster your failing self esteem. That is like using crack, it helps for a brief moment, then leaves you worse off!

Best of Luck!

I agree with everything you said 100%. Eventually I will be seeking professional help. I know I need it. Thank you for your advice.

[zxcirce]

Just stop posting.

[cherrymoon]

soul,

If I may, I think you are wrong to bow out.
you got some good advice but you see it all as so personal.
Before you think I don't understand Well you are half right I understand how someone can find themselves facing an affair. I had an affiar.

Here are the things that will make you change your ways.

Stand up and take the truth on the chin.
You have 100% done wrong.
There were other choices you could have chosen.
You and only you made the affair happen.
now ask yourself
Are you sorry
are you ashamed
are you really ready to face the consequences.

You need to take action by
stopping the affair
preparing yourself to face the truth
work your ass off do rebuild your marriage if there is a chance.

RELAX

I am not having ago.
You wrote your first thread and made out that it wasn't your fault. It was your fault just as my affair was totally my fault.
I can tell you what brought me to that point that I no longer cared and believe me I have a book of the ****e that was going on.
Thing is I had no right to hurt my family and my husband. I had the right to leave them, I had the right to tell him where to shove his marriage but I had no right to have an affair. You see soul until you realise thatthen you will keep justifying what has happened.

Truth is Soul when I was dropping my knickers when I was lying on my back taking it like a lady, i was vile, at that time I didn't deserve my beautiful kids, I sure as hell didn't deserve my husbands love.

You need to see how unbelievable disrespectful what we did is, how awful how it tears out their hearts. Imagine him tied to a chair gagged and being forced to watch you have sex with these men.
Because once he finds out and he will I promise you something will happen and you will get caught. He will see everything in his head and he may as well be tied up and gagged watching you.

I cannot possibly describe the true drama that happens once an affair is found out.

Today decide to act and make a decision on what you are going to do.
Leave your husband.
Stop the affair.

Soul this is black and white no grey area here.

You are not a victim of your siblings or your father.
You have no excuse but the truth you wanted to have sex with someone else you were bored (maybe i am guessing).

My reason? It doesn't matter I was a complete scumbag.

I am trying to work it out with my H.
It hurts everyday, it hurts him and I.
We will manage this but it won't be today or tomorrow.
Oh for 3 wishes now.

Sort yourself out and keep posting and take every comment and deal with it, stop avoiding what you don't want to hear.
Good luck

[Owl]

Good post, Cherry.


And this begs a question to the OP...

What were you hoping to gain from posting here on LS?

What kind of "support" did you hope to get?

Understanding and support of your choice to have affairs?

Suggestions on how to reconcile your situation?

Commiseration from others in similar marriages?

What support were you hoping to find, and did you find some of it in your time here on LS?

I think many people who come here and leave immediately do so because they didn't come with clear expectations of what they were hoping to get from posting here.

[SoulStorm]

Originally Posted by cherrymoon

soul,

If I may, I think you are wrong to bow out.
you got some good advice but you see it all as so personal.
Before you think I don't understand Well you are half right I understand how someone can find themselves facing an affair. I had an affiar.

Here are the things that will make you change your ways.

Stand up and take the truth on the chin.
You have 100% done wrong.
There were other choices you could have chosen.
You and only you made the affair happen.
now ask yourself
Are you sorry
are you ashamed
are you really ready to face the consequences.

You need to take action by
stopping the affair
preparing yourself to face the truth
work your ass off do rebuild your marriage if there is a chance.

RELAX

I am not having ago.
You wrote your first thread and made out that it wasn't your fault. It was your fault just as my affair was totally my fault.
I can tell you what brought me to that point that I no longer cared and believe me I have a book of the ****e that was going on.
Thing is I had no right to hurt my family and my husband. I had the right to leave them, I had the right to tell him where to shove his marriage but I had no right to have an affair. You see soul until you realise thatthen you will keep justifying what has happened.

Truth is Soul when I was dropping my knickers when I was lying on my back taking it like a lady, i was vile, at that time I didn't deserve my beautiful kids, I sure as hell didn't deserve my husbands love.

You need to see how unbelievable disrespectful what we did is, how awful how it tears out their hearts. Imagine him tied to a chair gagged and being forced to watch you have sex with these men.
Because once he finds out and he will I promise you something will happen and you will get caught. He will see everything in his head and he may as well be tied up and gagged watching you.

I cannot possibly describe the true drama that happens once an affair is found out.

Today decide to act and make a decision on what you are going to do.
Leave your husband.
Stop the affair.

Soul this is black and white no grey area here.

You are not a victim of your siblings or your father.
You have no excuse but the truth you wanted to have sex with someone else you were bored (maybe i am guessing).

My reason? It doesn't matter I was a complete scumbag.

I am trying to work it out with my H.
It hurts everyday, it hurts him and I.
We will manage this but it won't be today or tomorrow.
Oh for 3 wishes now.

Sort yourself out and keep posting and take every comment and deal with it, stop avoiding what you don't want to hear.
Good luck

Very Good Post CherryMoon

[Final Girl]

That was a good post Cherry...but I don't understand why someone would be bad to you here coz you feel remorse?? Surely that's GREAT!!! And also you aren't responsible for everyone else's affair, so posters who give you and others who had affairs a hard time are being really unfair!!

[whichwayisup]

Great post Cherry! I hope Soul IS around and lurking, reading..Maybe one day when she's ready to face what she is really doing, she'll come back - NOT to face us, but to have the balls to stick around, take advice and not be so defensive and hurt by what we were all saying to her.

Obviously she isn't ready yet, she isn't even ready for counselling. She said "eventually." Who knows when that will be...

[soulconfessions]

I can leave this forum, however I cannot run from me. I have to live with myself every day, therefore I'm not running from anyhting. I live with remorse, shame and guilt every single day. Yes I do have a guilty conscience which is why I chose this forum to tell my story and to express my feelings. I may have started out wrong with my first post but that doesn't mean that I'm not sorry for what I've done. If i satyed here, my first post and people like that man who's wife cheated on him would haunt me through out this board. I simply do not have the time for that or to respond to every post. Nor do i have the tolerance to respond to every person who will decit my every word or make an assumption about how I'm feeling about my situation. And FYI for personal reasons yes "EVENTUALLY" I will seek help. "I will" seek help. Yes for personal reasons " who knows when that might be. But i will seek help. And like i said in another post no matter what anypone post on this board, there is no reason for adults to be callig other aduls names. that's trailer trash behavior

[SoulStorm]

Originally Posted by soulconfessions

I can leave this forum, however I cannot run from me. I have to live with myself every day, therefore I'm not running from anyhting. I live with remorse, shame and guilt every single day. Yes I do have a guilty conscience which is why I chose this forum to tell my story and to express my feelings. I may have started out wrong with my first post but that doesn't mean that I'm not sorry for what I've done. If i satyed here, my first post and people like that man who's wife cheated on him would haunt me through out this board. I simply do not have the time for that or to respond to every post. Nor do i have the tolerance to respond to every person who will decit my every word or make an assumption about how I'm feeling about my situation. And FYI for personal reasons yes "EVENTUALLY" I will seek help. "I will" seek help. Yes for personal reasons " who knows when that might be. But i will seek help. And like i said in another post no matter what anypone post on this board, there is no reason for adults to be callig other aduls names. that's trailer trash behavior

Actually as harsh as people seem on here, they really are trying to help. Some go overboard because they are bitter. I was cheated on too and I do have a bit of bitterness in me. The "names" that you say you were called are probably "names" you have probably called yourself subconciously and hurt to the 100th power to see them in black and white on a forum. If you haven't called yourself these names subconciously, then I apologize. Coming to a forum like this and expressing your dilemma, which came across as an unremorseful wife seeking to go wild on her unknowing husband, and getting blasted probably was not what you were expecting. However it was a shocking eye opener.
You may never forget this and you shouldn't. This forum, as cruel as it may have seemed caused you to look at things from a different and painful perspective.

Please use it to find in you the things you know you can be, and should be. Not saying you are a bad person, but there is something missing and sleeping with other men is never going to fill that void. Sowing oats will only leave you feeling ashamed, used and cheap. Don't you think that you are better than that? I don't know all about you, but I know there is more to you than what you wrote on this forum. More to your life than notions of being loose and promiscous. I think you are a better person than that.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Originally Posted by soulconfessions

I can leave this forum, however I cannot run from me. I have to live with myself every day, therefore I'm not running from anyhting. I live with remorse, shame and guilt every single day. Yes I do have a guilty conscience which is why I chose this forum to tell my story and to express my feelings. I may have started out wrong with my first post but that doesn't mean that I'm not sorry for what I've done. If i satyed here, my first post and people like that man who's wife cheated on him would haunt me through out this board. I simply do not have the time for that or to respond to every post. Nor do i have the tolerance to respond to every person who will decit my every word or make an assumption about how I'm feeling about my situation. And FYI for personal reasons yes "EVENTUALLY" I will seek help. "I will" seek help. Yes for personal reasons " who knows when that might be. But i will seek help. And like i said in another post no matter what anypone post on this board, there is no reason for adults to be callig other aduls names. that's trailer trash behavior

I read your original posts... and the way you describe yourself gives me an impression of someone who is desperately seeking something to provide them self esteem/Self Value. The problem is that your using External means to provide that.

Your Husband can't make you like yourself, nor can any other man. You have a giant empty space in your heart... and only you can fill it.

I really think that your being haunted by your childhood environment. Anyway, just my 2 pennies.

[Mr. Lucky]

Originally Posted by soulconfessions

I can leave this forum, however I cannot run from me. I have to live with myself every day, therefore I'm not running from anyhting. I live with remorse, shame and guilt every single day. Yes I do have a guilty conscience which is why I chose this forum to tell my story and to express my feelings.

Express your feelings and then do what? I haven't seen you state one positive step you're going to take to fix this mess. Counseling? "Eventually" End the latest of your serial affairs? "Unbearable" Tell your husband the truth? You're going to keep him in the dark because that's how you "put his happiness" first. All you've done here use up some bandwidth. I'm unclear as to how that's helped you or your situation...

Mr. Lucky

[KismetGirl]

Originally Posted by soulconfessions

I can leave this forum, however I cannot run from me. I have to live with myself every day, therefore I'm not running from anyhting. I live with remorse, shame and guilt every single day. Yes I do have a guilty conscience which is why I chose this forum to tell my story and to express my feelings. I may have started out wrong with my first post but that doesn't mean that I'm not sorry for what I've done. If i satyed here, my first post and people like that man who's wife cheated on him would haunt me through out this board. I simply do not have the time for that or to respond to every post. Nor do i have the tolerance to respond to every person who will decit my every word or make an assumption about how I'm feeling about my situation. And FYI for personal reasons yes "EVENTUALLY" I will seek help. "I will" seek help. Yes for personal reasons " who knows when that might be. But i will seek help. And like i said in another post no matter what anypone post on this board, there is no reason for adults to be callig other aduls names. that's trailer trash behavior

You shoudlnt give up on this because of a few bad seeds. There are many bitter people on here who don't really read anything. They come on here to bash the OM's and OW's or anyone having an affair. Oftentimes they are BS's, speaking only from anger, hurt, betrayal. You can't take it to heart personally. I was bashed on another board by a man whose wife had cheated on him. he didn't read a word I'd written, not really. All he coul say was that no matter all the good things I've done with my life, I had now become worthless because I'd had an affair with a MM. No matter that I'd saved someone's life before, no matter that I was caring and kind, intelligent and working and going to school. He couldn't see past his bitterness.

ignore those posts like you'd ignore any other garbage on the street.