In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
I'm 25 years old, male, and a virgin. I'm above-average looking, and have had a serious girlfriend, but I've never had sex. (My last girlfriend had some serious sexual hangups, due to her conservative upbringing as well as past abuse.)
This is obviously unusual for a guy of my age, especially when the guy is attractive, socially normal, and has no religious objections to sex.
My question: is this a huge disadvantage, or can I play it as a strong point? What types of women react positively to mid-20s virgins, and what types react negatively?
IME, hurdle, but only if you talk about it. Keep it to yourself and mention your sexual experience in the broadest sense, if asked. If asked directly, be honest. IMO, with the right person for you, your past experience (or lack thereof) will be a non-issue.
Ask me again in another decade and I can provide some practical experience for the transition
There is no way to play this to your advantage. Maybe 1% of women will react favorably to this information, the rest will be turned off by your lack of experience.
Men tend to get better at sex as they get more experienced, finding out what a woman likes, learning to control themselves, etc. If you haven't done 'basic training' most will be uneasy about sending you into heavy combat. I have no idea where this metaphor is going. Just go out and get laid, that's an order.
Its and advantage... but only if you keep it to yourself and don't broadcast it. Your Ex gf hang ups were no excuse for you not boneing her. Now when you say your a virgin... are we talking dick in the vagina virgin but you've played around with boobs and vaginas and had bj's?
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did that, inserted text, clicked saved signature and still... nothing!
Don't talk about it unless asked directly about it. When you do have sex it won't be all that it's cranked up to be (my first time was less than memorable) but it will get better to awesome. Do talk about expectations the first time you and some girl do it if you're getting in a relationship. If just a hook up, don't even mention it. If you end up getting serious with a girl, talking to her about it after the fact might be an advantage, (I'm special) or disadvantage (great, he's going to want to screw as many women as possible now that he's not a virgin).
I say it all depends on the level of crazy of the girl in question.
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"Live High, Live Mighty, live Rightgeously..." -Jason Mraz
and they won't have to worry about getting pregnant either because every one knows you cant get pregnant on your first time... but that might only be if its the girls first time
and they won't have to worry about getting pregnant either because every one knows you cant get pregnant on your first time... but that might only be if its the girls first time
Don't say anything about it. It'll weird out most women. That's the route I took years ago when I lost the big V. A couple of months later, I admitted it to then-GF, and she expressed surprise. She hadn't guessed based on my "performance".
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See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood, all the colours came out.
-- U2
Neither, either, or both. It's what you make it to be. You'll realize how silly this whole virgin thing is after you lose it. Irrelevant.
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Neither, either, or both. It's what you make it to be. You'll realize how silly this whole virgin thing is after you lose it. Irrelevant.
is it really silly though? I mean its like wanting to go to the beach for a long time but never getting around to it, or not actualy doing the things necesary to make it to the beach and see it for yourself. You need to go for it, you've had gf's before so just get another gf... and then around the 3rd date start pushing those boundaries... sensualy
I think it's only silly if one "gives it up" (after waiting a long time) to someone they've compromised to do that with, IOW someone they're really not committed to nor want a LTR with. How do I know this?
You would definitely make a good trophy for a cougar.
I have a friend who's around your age also a virgin. He's had awful problems with meeting/dating women, not because of his virginity but because of his self-esteem. But now he's got a gf, not sure if he's told her yet about it yet...
If a girl truly likes you, I don't see why she would care.
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