How To accept yourself?

JJ

How do you accept yourself for who you are and feel comfortable about yourself? Let me explain, I'm very young being only 20 but I weigh 220 lbs. All my life I've been on the chubby side.

I use to weigh near 290 lbs but got on a diet and did great with it. I walked 3 miles all the time, watches what I ate. But as I got to 210 I slowly became a slacker, did less walkign until none and I'm a wuss when it comes to being cold outside.. so I don't wakl when it's cold because I don't wanna get sick.

I am back up to 220 and I'm now depressed, before I was happy about how I was looking but I'm finding it harder and harder to keep on my diet.

The reason being I have a nasty body, my stomach is nothing but fat, sticks out, and I have huge man boobs and regardless of how much I walked, how much I lost I still had this and it was disheartening. It, to me, stood out.

I have been working with weights, I life weights doing curels and then lie on the floor and simply lift the weights over my chest and go up and down. But then I realize how weak I am, I can only do like 10-15 curels and perhaps 25-30 lying on the floor.

I can do like 20 situps, and push ups seems to be of the impossible that'll break my back. But even then after like 2 weeks of doing this my man boobs still stick out and I still have this nasty body.

So this takes my self-esteem away and makes me feel all depressed, as if I was meant to look nasty. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at the end of my ropes right now and ready to give up and just live with the fact that I look nasty.

So I ask you this, how can someone become happy with who they are? I do not know how this can be done, or if it can be done at all. Regardless, in the end I still have a nasty body that no chick wants. I have friends who're girls and always comment about people being fat and it brings me down, because I look worse than that.

I talked to this person at a local weight loss center who said that in a matter of 10 weeks they could have me down to 180 but now I question if that would even be worth it. I would hate to spend money and actually get to 180 but still look nasty, meaning my stomach still looks nasty and I have huge man-boobs like no other.

Any advice? What am I doing wrong? Why cannot I not get rid of my nasty stomach? Is it because I'm so overweight that it won't shrink much till I get to my normal weight average of 180? If I get to 180 will my boobs go away?