[em7885]

I found out a while back when looking on my boyfriends computer that he looks at trany/shemale porn. I was completely shocked! Here I am a girl who has dated my boyfriend for 2.5 years at the time and am just discovering what turns him on.

I confronted him about what I'd discovered and asked him about it. It took a long time before he would talk to me about it, and even when he did, he was pretty shy about it and couldn't explain everything to me.

What he did tell me was that he likes looking at girls with dicks. He is turned on seeing boobs but likes looking at dicks because he can relate to them and can tell when it's feeling good. He said he treats it as a fantasy and would not want to actually have a sexual encounter with a trany. When I asked if he was gay or bi, he said he didn't think so, he's straight but turned on by looking at dicks... he may have considered the idea of bi, but was not comfortable putting a label on himself like that.

Since we talked, we've had a few more discussions. But it's never been an easy subject, because I have a hard time understanding and accepting. And he therefor has a hard time opening up. I'm not even sure if he knows what he's thinking or feeling, so if not, it's kinda hard for him to tell me then.

We have now been dating for almost 4 years and have lived together for about 2 of those years now. He watches trany porn almost every day, but never in front of me. We have sex a few times a week and he's usually the instigator, but I feel like a lot of the passion is gone. My self confidence is not where it should be. I know I'm a good looking girl, but I never feel sexy, which may be why I'm not the instigator much.

I have a lot of questions, but feel uncomfortable talking to him about it because I feel that I just come off judging and he doesn't know the answers.

1. Can he be straight and turned on by looking at dicks?
2. Why does he look at porn almost every single day?
3. Why is the porn always tranys and shemales, never just real girls?
4. Is he dissatisfied with me?
5. Is this a sign that he will be gay and leave me someday for some other kind of guy/girl OR will it stay a fantasy as he calls it?
6. Is it abnormal to watch porn daily, is he addicted-what's the deal?

Please give me some advice. I don't know if it's issues I need to resolve in my own head or discuss with him. I don't want to approach him in a way that's offensive but it's a really hard topic for both of us to deal with. Thanks for your help!

[Chrome Barracuda]

Possibly bi-curious. but dont leap to assumptions just yet. But keep a close eye on him just in case. I know if a chick I dated looked at lesbian porn non stop I would seriously question it.

[Tripper]

Originally Posted by em7885

1. Can he be straight and turned on by looking at dicks?
2. Why does he look at porn almost every single day?
3. Why is the porn always tranys and shemales, never just real girls?
4. Is he dissatisfied with me?
5. Is this a sign that he will be gay and leave me someday for some other kind of guy/girl OR will it stay a fantasy as he calls it?
6. Is it abnormal to watch porn daily, is he addicted-what's the deal?

Well, I'd be concerned but wouldn't panic just yet.
The 'net has made the viewing of porn much easier and most men will check it out occasionally. However the first red flag in my mind is the daily viewing; that indicates an addiction. If his addiction impacts your relationship then you are faced with real problems. If you are not having sex, if his opinion of women and attitude towards them are less than respectful etc. are indications of porn addiction issues.

He may be bi-curious but since he says he'd never act on the fantasy, it's more likely that it's simply that; a fantasy but at the same time a fixation or addiction. For what ever reasons some males have particular tastes in porn, tho' not quite that tightly focused. While a taste for shemales isn't necessarily "normal" it's doesn't reflect a highly perverse view such as bondage, scat, bestiality etc.

I highly doubt that he is dissatisfied with you or would leave you for a someone else unless he was terribly conflicted regarding his own sexuality and suddenly comes to terms with it.

If this continues to be a major concern or issue in your R, you may want to consider discussing his going into therapy/counseling to explore his reasons for it and to deal with it as an addiction.

[Enema]

Originally Posted by em7885

I'm probably in a good position to comment because I also look at tranny porn every once in a while. (Not every day though)

1. Can he be straight and turned on by looking at dicks?
- Yes. I don't ever watch porn without a dick in it because it's easier to fantasize if I can pretend it's me or there's something easily relateable.

2. Why does he look at porn almost every single day?
- That's something only he can answer... I look at porn every day too, though I don't jerk off every day.

I idly surf porn in another window while I'm playing games online. I think it's synonymous with checking out women in real life. Something you just do, but it doesn't mean anything.

3. Why is the porn always tranys and shemales, never just real girls?
- Are you sure it's always trannies? I have lots of different tastes so look at it all... though I rarely get off on asian vaginal porn because my wife is asian (and has a vagina!) so, when online I fulfill my other fantasies.

4. Is he dissatisfied with me?
- Only he can answer that. But, just because he's looking at porn doesn't mean he's unsatisifed, just means he has different tastes. I could be married to Jessica Alba and I'd still surf for porn.

5. Is this a sign that he will be gay and leave me someday for some other kind of guy/girl OR will it stay a fantasy as he calls it?
- Can't say definitively as everyone is different. I wouldn't be too worried about what porn he looks at unless your relationship is suffering.

6. Is it abnormal to watch porn daily, is he addicted-what's the deal?
- Not abnormal. I would say that with porn use, you could only call him addicted if his use of it affects his sex life with you.

[Jilly Bean]

I think what's killed your sex life is you continually challenging your BF on his orientation and preferences.

If I were him, I'd be pretty turned off to you knowing you were secretly judging his fantasies or questioning his masculinity.

[whichwayisup]

This isn't about you. It's not about what turns him on, this is about fantasy and his private time alone. Now, if him watching porn is getting in the way of your sex life and he is treating you badly, then talk to him about it. If he is choosing to whack off to porn over sex with you, THAT is a problem.

1. Can he be straight and turned on by looking at dicks?

Yes. I'm female, and straight. Lesbian porn is hotter than straight sex.

2. Why does he look at porn almost every single day?

I'm not inside his head, but his watching porn isn't about you - It's just another way of getting off daily. Many men will still masterbate after having sex..

3. Why is the porn always tranys and shemales, never just real girls?

Because it's different and taboo, makes his fantasy more interesting and hotter.

4. Is he dissatisfied with me?

No. I wouldn't think so seeing as you two have been together for a long time. How is the rest of your relationship? Is he loving, giving and kind to you?

5. Is this a sign that he will be gay and leave me someday for some other kind of guy/girl OR will it stay a fantasy as he calls it?

No. It's just a fantasy, but if you're concerned, talk to him about it, ask questions. Maybe even rent some DVD's together and watch them with him - Explore and have some fun.

6. Is it abnormal to watch porn daily, is he addicted-what's the deal?

It isn't as long as the porn isn't getting in the way.

[Tripper]

Originally Posted by jmargel

Make him goto therapy for this? My god, not everything needs a therapist.

Therapists are trained to deal with addictive behaviour.

If his porn viewing is an addiction, and it does sound that way, the only way to deal with it is either accept it and let it go or break the addiction.

[Trialbyfire]

I agree that daily porn viewing in general is an addiction. He should get help for this.


As for sexual preferences, you have two choices:

1. Accept his difference and shrug it off.
2. Don't accept it and find someone with similar values to you.

Doing anything else will only cause resentment to build up. Him, for feeling that you're too controlling, you for wanting him to be different.

[Lizzie60]

I'm sorry to disappoint you but you have absolutely no control over his fantasies/fetishes.. even him cannot control what turns him on..


1. Can he be straight and turned on by looking at dicks?

Of course.. I am straight and I enjoy lesbian porn.


2. Why does he look at porn almost every single day?

Because he likes it.. and/or he might have some kind of addiction.


3. Why is the porn always tranys and shemales, never just real girls?

Because that's his fantasy/fetish.. simple as that.


4. Is he dissatisfied with me?

Maybe, maybe not.. you should ask him.. (but he might not want to hurt you though)

5. Is this a sign that he will be gay and leave me someday for some other kind of guy/girl OR will it stay a fantasy as he calls it?

Hahahaa.. not at all.

6. Is it abnormal to watch porn daily, is he addicted-what's the deal?

Could be an addiction.. I like watching porn.. I go through phases though.. I might be weeks without watching any.. then watch it every single days for the next weeks... (I'm in my porn phase right now. )..

Just relax... talk to him.. and DON'T GET MAD if he his honest about his feelings..

That's why a lot of men are NOT honest about their feelings... they know it will hurt their partner.. or it will start an ugly fight.. and most guys are laid back and don't want to fight over sex.

If they have to.. they will go outside... simple as that.

[Jake Barnes]

I don't think a psychologically healthy man who is completely straight would be looking at shemale porn on a daily basis and I think in your heart you already know this

[bish]

your boyfriend is gay.

[Jake Barnes]

Shemale porn can be pretty hot

[Gunny376]

I bet good money that its not so much that he's attracted to she-males in so much as he interested in being one? That is to say, he's straight but has an intrest in cross dressing. (Because of his reluctance to speak and talk about his "interest")

[Melovator]

Maybe you could suggest buying a strap-on? Might be fun for the both of you! Lots of straight guys apparently like to be pegged these days...

[vivrantflo]

Originally Posted by bish

your boyfriend is gay.

I agree with this totally..

The dude enjoys watching porn in which none of the cast members are female...

talk about being in denial......