Just saw that Leo's thread had a slew of post removed and is now locked.
I was able to read the final posts before its demise.
all I can say is WOW
never thought it (the thread) would end up like that.
Leo if your lurking
there are some of us that are still interested in your story and situation and will be here to listen if you still feel like sharing the next phase of your life.
We cant stop what people post or what you post, but there is still a wealth of knowledge here
__________________
theres 3 sides to every story: yours, thiers and the truth
He posted some very detailed info on the OM and his wife.
Someone googled it (and I admit, so did I, but I didnt find anything)
and then someone posted the OM's name
then a bunch of OMG posts and some bickering posts
Then Leo posted that he pretty much didnt f-ing care anymore
never thought it would come down like that....sad...
The last batch of posts that were deleted included a VERY detailed paste of an email Leo supposedly sent his lawyer, so I'm not surprised that vanished.
You may be right and it was intentional, or even subconsciously intentional if that's possible LOL, but we don't know. Maybe it was a very conscious revenge effort.
I think Leo has been a cool and calculating poster from Day 1.
He knew how to generate emotional support for his cause.
He is not innocent and naive. Every word he has written has been with a self-serving intention.
I know I will get bashed for this but here is my take nonetheless after reading his entire thread:
Leo and his wife have been having marital problems for a long time..well before his decision to take a job 1,000 miles away from his family's home.
Leo's wife decided not to uproot the children and move them 1,000 miles away in order for Leo to continue pursuing his career. She put the children's well being and desires above Leo's.
Leo, on the other hand, put his career goals above the desires of his wife and children. Job..number one...Family...number 2. He weighed his options and the job won out over the wishes of his family.
If you want to know where a person's heart really is, look closely at where they spend their time. Leo spent most of his time 1,000 miles away from his family.
Leo did not NEED to take the job 1,000 miles away. I am sure his family could have survived financially on whatever income he was making from the job he had before he moved. And if he would have lost the job, he could have found another. He sounds like an intelligent, educated man.
Many on this forum tell wayward spouses to quit jobs immediately for the sake of their marriages if their affairs were with coworkers. Many wayward spouses say, "I can't. It's not financially feasible." The response is always, "Sure you can. What's more important...your marriage or your job."
Leo had the same choice. He chose the job over his marriage.
I doubt this decision was the sole reason for the demise of Leo's marriage, but I suspect it went a long way over a three year period to slowly damage the marriage beyond repair.
~~~~~
It's hard for me to believe his wife threw herself on all those other men and not one person was upset enough to tell Leo to get his wife under control. And again, it's hard for me to believe Leo's wife managed to kiss and grope the crotch of 3 grown men before they could stop it from happening. Why is it the family kept these three incidents under cover but had no qualms about broadcasting the details of the affair Leo's sister-in-law had?
~~~~~
Separate bedrooms for how long? Three years of traveling 1,000 miles back and forth in a long distance relationship?
This does not sound like a marriage, except perhaps on paper.
~~~~~
And I KNOW I am going to get bashed for this one...BUT...for some reason I get the sneaking suspicion Leo's wife was not the only one with a foot out the door of this marriage.
I am NOT saying Leo may be having an affair of his own. What I am saying is I suspect Leo may have also grown very weary of his marriage and perhaps had contemplated in his own mind on several occassions whether his life would be better as a free man. His wife's affair gave him the ticket out the door.
I say this because most BS who just find out about their spouse's affairs seem to go through a "denial" phase and appear to almost be "emotionally paralyzed." Leo seemed to "skip" this phase. Instead, it appears he jumped right into action and got right down to the business of planning his divorce. Seems a little odd..unless the whole notion of divorce had been planted in his head for some time.
~~~~~
Some posters declared Leo's thread as dignified. I call it manipulative. He knew exactly what he was doing when he broadcasted a ton of info about the OM on a public forum. No one here asked him specifically about the OM's accomplishments, where he lived, how much land he owned, or what his wife did for a living. Leo gladly volunteered this information. It served no purpose, except a self-serving one for Leo. Shame on him.
The only people I feel sorry for are his daughters. Sounds like this divorce is going to get messy...public and vindictive. The children will suffer.They are the only innocents in this matter...they are the only real victims. The children always are.
So do you think that the wife refusing to go with husband to a new job when his career is paying for a good lifestyle is more in keeping with making sure that the family unit works?
May I say that I think it's kind of fitting that the last post in the now locked thread should be mine where I posted that "it's a hard lesson for some that we reap what we sow"... that may yet come home to bite Leo if in fact this was all a calculated effort for revenge.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
