[olganom]

Hello there, first time I'm posting here.

Have no one else to turn too, so I like to ask here.

Well I have meet this wonderfull girl online, we talked on skype and msn and phone, we txts each other all the time etc.

There distance is like 2 hour of plane travel, but then again.
What is stories and experiances how it would work out and is it really worth it?
We both likes each other very good, if I didnt knew better I would say in love.


Any good advice?

Thanks for any reply.

[Ally Boo]

I've met a lot of people online- from people in my town, to people as far from me as NYC and Canada (I am in Louisiana).

1. Don't have a lot of expectations. When you meet, you are still with a stranger- that feeling is hard to shake. The attraction may not be there once you are together.

2. Be smart about it. Have a back up plan, especially if you are traveling. The person could really be a creep- as hard as that may be to imagine right now.

3. Give someone you trust all of the details. Make sure someone knows her name/address/etc. Don't be secretive about this- it's for your protection.

4. Make sure you know everything there is to know about the people you are visiting. When I went to Canada, I was questioned for at least 45 minutes. Thank goodness I knew them as well as I did, because had I not given them the answers they wanted (and they did verify my answers), they probably wouldn't have let me in the country. It wasn't something I was expecting, but they said the number of people who have been left at airports, stranded in the country without money, etc was more than anyone would care to admit. That is pretty sobering.

5. You can't be too careful. It's okay to want information, to be nosey. Hire a private investigator if you feel the need. If you are visiting someone on their turf, you want to make sure that you are safe. Period.

6. Listen to the unsaid. It takes a lot for you to see personality flaws in someone in person or online. Pay attention to how they respond to things. I made plans to hang out with an old friend. My online friend knew I was going, but I misplaced my phone and didn't tell them I would be crashing with her. The online friend left at least 10 emails and there were countless missed calls and texts. Each message got a little weirder, uglier and more bizarre. The next day, he just said, "Oh I was so worried." Needless to say, I dropped all contact with him.

With all of that said, the person I am with now, I met online. He is from New York City and moved to Louisiana to be with me. He didn't visit the first time until we knew each other a year. We were friends first too and I think that helped. 18 months after we met, he moved here and we've been really happy since. (Although starting a relationship with someone online- once you are living in the same place takes some getting used to also.) His family was terrified about him visiting, mine was extremely concerned as well- that was a good sign that you are dealing with normal people. lol I've been very lucky, but I've tried to be really smart about it too.

Hope this helped.

[olganom]

Thank you so much for the detailed info.

Our first step would to meet each other first maybe for 1 day or something, just can never be to safe eh?

But thank you again for your info, really helped with stuff on my mind.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

My friend thinks I am paranoid and says this is why I am probably single, but you have to protect yourself. And hear are a few suggestions outside of what has been said...

1. Every time you change location, take a picture and email it to people you know.
2. Keep in contact with your contacts back home. Phone at least once a day.
3. Don't leave your food and drink unattended, even at their home.
4. DO A CHECK ON THEM!!! Make sure they are who they are. Demand to talk to a close family member, like a mother or father or aunt, or someone on that level.

Personally I would of more advised him coming to see you first and you introduce him to your friends, especially female friends and family members, they tend to be more preceptive to the ways of men than men are with other men...Many tend to cover up the bad side of their buddies. Maybe you can see if a trusted male relative can come along with you and you two share a hotel. One of my exs had her ex-husband at the house my entire time I was with her and her son. As uncomfortable as it was, and though I know she was lying about why he was there, I could understand and was able to deal with it.


DNR
Please be safe.