[Narf]

Im sorry this is going to take a little explaining so bare with me... When i met this new guy i had just come out of a 8 year relationship where trust was the biggest issue and i had lost faith in people and i was under the belief that ppl often just say what they think you want to hear... I was not ready for a new relationship and wasnt looking.. I was just trying to get me back.. and to stop being this unconfident, will accept cr@p cause i didnt think i deserved better...Person

When i met a guy at a party... At first there was attraction but from my end it was just a physical thing.. Anyways we started dating and he made me feel so good about myself.. It wasnt anything serious but i was comfortable with him and we had an awesome time hanging out...I had started to trust him which was awesome for me and i felt like i was finally healing and that maybe i did really like this guy (defences were being weakened)... Anyways after 3 months he dumpped me cause i have "issues" and he was "unhappy" in the relationship... This confused me My issues were improving... Yes i admit i wasnt perfect and had a little bit of an issue that his ex g/f called him all the time so i was curious about there relationship, but this relationship seemed so easy and relaxed and just fun! No pressure... i was still trying to hold him a bit distant cause i didnt want to be hurt... but other then that it was good

Anyways after the whole dumped via a txt message i decided to not be the crying begging mess and thought to myself if he doesnt want me as a g/f there is nothing i can say or do and maybe we can just be mates... I drew a line that i would not cross even thou i still had feelings for him i kept telling myself control them get over them move on.. He has been up front and honest so you need to accept it.. So we became friends.. This is where confusion and frustration comes in

After about 3 moths he decides that maybe he does like me more then he thought and starts to hint little things about a relationship... First it was just commpliments then it was hey lets go to the movies then at the movies he was very flirty and a bit to touchy for just mates... This goes on for about 2 months till he finally comes out with "we need to talk" so we talk.. He said he doesnt want a relationship but he has feelings for me that he hasnt felt before and it is scaring him... That he loves hanging out with me and could we be more then just friends but not g/f ,b/f... I stand my ground and say no it isnt going to happen .. If he wants to date me then fine but i wont just be a booty call.. (i get to emotionally attached) So he says ok friends it is...
The hanging out dies and the messaging gets less and less till last weekend i get drunk messages.. They start off just friendly then turn into "I think about you alot... Im so drunk you should delete this.." I replied " I know you are drunk and you know we want different things So ill delete this message and forget you sent it.. But please dont send anymore.. Then i get "I should ask you out you are such a nice girl Jen.. Delete this too! I have had so much to drink" This i ignored and the sorry message the next day i ignore ... Then he calls i ignore the first but answer the second (cause im a sucker! Plus i decide i want him to know it isnt ok to send that stuff)
We talk he says sorry he was so drunk he didnt mean to txt... But he thinks about me alot but is young (23) and doesnt want a serious relationship right now.. He never planned to meet me and he is confused... So i try to explain that we have tried going out it didnt work for him.. We have tried friends and it doesnt work for either of us... So what does he want from me? He said he doesnt know but can we go to the movies in a few weeks.. and see what happens...
Help please!!! i have tried to be strong i have tried to be hard arse and ignore him .. i have tried friends ... what next??

Why is he doing this?? Is it a control thing?? Does he actually like me at all? or is it a case of wanting what you cant have??

[Abomination]

The way you explain it sounds an awful lot like he is playing a stupid game with you. He tried to be more than just friends, and yet, he didn't want to be your boyfriend, which just translates to "let's have sex with no strings attached."

You were right to not give in.

I don't really have any advice... just wanted to give you a third party perspective.

- A

[Narf]

Thanks ... I know it is a game i just dont want it to be :/ but now the whole do i trust what he says comes into play.. and honestly i know i dont so the answer is clear i have to man up and stop the silliness but it just sucks and one thing im not good at is ignoring... Only cause if i get ignored i HATE it.. So doing it to someone else is against my personality :/ but words dont work.. what is left??

[Mary3]

For now he just wants to be a f* buddy....

Don't do it .