Hi. I just started NC and just came up with idea to have NC buddies to go thru this tough test. we talk about what it felt like and encourage each other not to call our exs.
let's help each other I'll be waiting for my NC buddies
4 days and counting. You don't want to know the details
I'm doing the extreme version. No contact, no re-reading of my own or her e-mails, no looking at pictures, nothing. I've got over 20 years of connection to get rid of.
nice to meet you carhill. What you are going thru sounds much tougher than mine.
we still love each other and it's amazing that our attraction survived in spite of all the ugly fights and dramas.
I'll never call him, but I'll respond if he contacts me and start LC. but I wouldn't be too pushy nor say something to hurt him on purpose (it was like defense mechanism. i wanted to hurt him before he ever would).
IMO, better to stay strict NC, at least for a fixed period. It allows emotions to center and for some measure of detachment.
The best thing MC has done for me is helped me realize that I can love someone yet be incompatible with them. It (and LS) also taught me the toxicity of triangulation. Yes, my dynamic is different than yours, apparently, so the solution must necessarily be different.
I understand your attraction dynamic, likely more than is easily shared here. My journals will provide you some understanding of my perspective.
I'm on my 5th day of NC. It hurts but i know i have to be strong for my dignity. I'm not sure if any of you guys read my story but what led to our breakup was really her fault. She's trying to play like a dude and act hard and not contact me either.
I'm not going to give in because that'll show my weakness and then she'll think she's okay to act up anytime she wants. I still wonder if she's having just a hard of time with this as I am.
this ****in sucks so bad. its like i talk to everyone else, but i still wanna talk to her. oh, this is sposed to take my mind off her for 5 minutes, or keep me from calling her or whatever. this is a bunch of ****. i call my friend, then i call my other friend, then i call some chicks, then i ****in go insane cuz i want to talk to HER, not some other bitch, HER. this is bull****. so ok, she's "CHECKED OUT" of the relationship, eh? what a ****in *******. this is a bunch of bs let me tell you. i woulda freakin done anything for this chick and whatever i hate this **** i cant wait till i dont feel like this anymore, but i know im always gonna miss her, its not like we can just call each other anymore, everythings all ****ed up i ****in hate this **** so bad ****ing a
i miss her so damn much i wish she wasnt so selfish what an *******
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I don't need a ****ing therapist!
YYY, glad to have ya. Stick with us and you'll make it.
I'll tell ya something. There's nothing worse than having a connection you just wish would go away. I've had mine for over 23 years now. I wanted it to stop many years ago and it just wouldn't. I got married and it wouldn't. My mom got Alzheimer's and it wouldn't. She can treat me good or bad and it's still there. I've been dealing with it likely longer than you've been alive.
So, if I can do NC, so can you. One day at a time I'm at day 6.....
Don't give up! Get a punching bag or something, work out. It helps TONS. My ex only contacts me here and there, when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Like an idiot, I give in every time. When she leaves, I find myself texting and calling her. Again, I do this because I'm a f***ing retard.
NO MORE! I'm starting NC, this is day 1. She can kiss my ass.
Hey, don't need this now, but a no contact buddy about four years ago, wwould have been soooooooooooooooooo good for me. Contact just causes you pain, and even if you want someone back, it just makes you look pathetic to the other person. Plus when you have no contact, after a few months (not right away, I KNOW) you can more clearly assess the situation. I now believe in extreme NC as well, meaning do not look at letters, pictures, emails, myspace accounts, whatever associated with your ex. It was a long, long process, but I'm at a place where I wish my ex well, but do not obsess over him. Having NC from the begining wwould have helped a lot, so don't call, text, email, visit, or send smoke signals!
and how do you handle it when you see him at camp dropoffs because his daughter and mine are best friends (we're both divorced)?
When I first saw him, we went the other way and hung out on the playground a bit. Then we bumped into them at the local pizza place and he said "are you trying to ignore me"? I said, No (lightly) then sent him a text later that said I wasn't trying to ignore him, just respecting what we had talked about a day earlier (where I said I needed some distance because I wasn't sure I wanted to be friends with him).
He broke up with me 4 months ago after a 1 1/2 year very intense relationship. He's been dating someone (long distance for about 6 weeks).
Help... I don't know how to deal with this. I'm trying to treat him like I do my ex because of the kids being friends.
Last edited by qsmiles70; 27th June 2008 at 7:20 PM..
Hi guys. In a heart break situation myself.Im prepared to give out my e-mail so that i can recieve and send personnal messages. One of the worse things about NC is the loneleness and feeling that everyone you,ve spoke to are getting abit fed up with you going on about the same thing. It,s because it consumes you and it,s always on our minds, thats why. Im here to listern and be listered to if anyones interested. I,ve also got a link to a free film that has inspired me and i,m willing to share it. Chin up guys, it,s tough but NOT insurmountable. Alan
I need an NC buddy too! Saw him yesterday and told him today that its best just to let it go so I guess tomorrow is day one I am really only doing it so he has time to miss me I live in hope that he might soften his hardened heart and realise that I am not such a bad person but I don't want to be hanging on forever..... I hope I get over that!
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I'll be waiting for my NC buddies
I am really only doing it so he has time to miss me I live in hope that he might soften his hardened heart and realise that I am not such a bad person but I don't want to be hanging on forever..... I hope I get over that!
Hybrid Mode
