Okay. I am very very frustrated right now. I am tempted to just throw things across the room and break things to let my frustration out.
My problem: My Family.
The WHOLE day...Whole day, they have been on the other line of the phone while I've been talking to my ex boyfriend, listening into the conversation.
It's his Birthday Tonight. He is going to a 21 and OVER bar. I'm 20 and a half. Not of legal age to enter. So whatever he said he's going to go shoot pool and have a drink or two. Then, he is going to come get me to spend time with me, because he said he wants to tonight.
So my family. They think he is BLOWING me off.
I do not appreciate, when I get off the phone, they come out to where I am and I have to relive the conversation. They nit pick what he said, and they turn it around and twist it to "Oh, he's blowing you off, he got another date tonight, and doesn't want you around."
I called him back this last time. And of course they were on again. He said he doesn't care. He said that it's very disrespectful, and immature to listen into someone elses conversations on the phone. He said my mom is a very bad mom for doing so, and saying all the crap she says to me. In example: wishing she never birthed me.
My ex said he is going to call me back later and come pick me up. I am very angry that he has to be put in the middle of all this.
My mom said..I mean, YELLED at me earlier saying "The only reason I treat you like ****, is because of him"
So what do I do? I can't sit and talk with them because it's just gets into a heated argument where my mom calls me a cunt, whore, and a bitch. She is so lucky I don't cuss. I have things running across my mind, but I can never say the words.
If you want, to get a better understanding of my back story, you can click on my name and read my posts.
Will this ever end? or do I have to move out for it to stop?
Okay. I am very very frustrated right now. I am tempted to just throw things across the room and break things to let my frustration out.
My problem: My Family.
The WHOLE day...Whole day, they have been on the other line of the phone while I've been talking to my ex boyfriend, listening into the conversation.
It's his Birthday Tonight. He is going to a 21 and OVER bar. I'm 20 and a half. Not of legal age to enter. So whatever he said he's going to go shoot pool and have a drink or two. Then, he is going to come get me to spend time with me, because he said he wants to tonight.
So my family. They think he is BLOWING me off.
I do not appreciate, when I get off the phone, they come out to where I am and I have to relive the conversation. They nit pick what he said, and they turn it around and twist it to "Oh, he's blowing you off, he got another date tonight, and doesn't want you around."
I called him back this last time. And of course they were on again. He said he doesn't care. He said that it's very disrespectful, and immature to listen into someone elses conversations on the phone. He said my mom is a very bad mom for doing so, and saying all the crap she says to me. In example: wishing she never birthed me.
My ex said he is going to call me back later and come pick me up. I am very angry that he has to be put in the middle of all this.
My mom said..I mean, YELLED at me earlier saying "The only reason I treat you like ****, is because of him"
So what do I do? I can't sit and talk with them because it's just gets into a heated argument where my mom calls me a cunt, whore, and a bitch. She is so lucky I don't cuss. I have things running across my mind, but I can never say the words.
If you want, to get a better understanding of my back story, you can click on my name and read my posts.
Will this ever end? or do I have to move out for it to stop?
if you use this as a usual response - you will not have these situations any further.
respond respectfully with one of the following:
i didn't ask for your approval...
i'll take that into consideration...
you may be right (you're not actually admitting that they are right)...
this allows the conversation to be terminated as long as you don't respond any further than these statements.
they can talk all they want - it doesn't mean you need to participate in the discussion once you've stated your position with any of the above...
i did take your age into consideration - you are well past 18 years old. good luck.
She called you a whore , a bitch and cunt ? Your own Mom ?
What is wrong with that picture ? ALOT !
I would make plans to move in with a roomate , get some counseling because you bottle up horrid insults and say nothing back to her.
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"how do you gently break up with someone???..
Thats like saying how do I gently drive a monster truck through a china/glass/crystal shop.
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My mom called the cops on me claiming I was being rebellious. When, all I did was sit on her bed near the fax phone, because she disconnected the house phone. She knew I was waiting for my ex to call me. So she took it into her hands, and made it impossible to reach me because the only connected phone was in her room (fax).
So the cops came out and talked to me. My mom said I had an eviction notice and that they were going to come physically remove me. I asked the cop about the notice, he said that I would have to be served with one (which I was not) and that it only lasts for a couple weeks (and the one she has she filed back in March. So Void.
All the officer said was for me to follow my moms rules, and then in the meantime, achieve my goals of getting out.
So I get the phone back, and call my ex. She cusses him out using the most profane, and disgusting words....and remember, it's his BIRTHDAY!!!!
Non-stop she's screaming and cussing at him over the phone.
He does not deserve this one bit, and I apologized for ruining his birthday. He says I have nothing to be sorry for.
He may not come and get me now, because he doesn't want to come get me and me get locked out.
I wanted to see him so badly and spend time with him on his birthday. He spent the night with me on my Birthday.
She called you a whore , a bitch and cunt ? Your own Mom ?
What is wrong with that picture ? ALOT !
I would make plans to move in with a roomate , get some counseling because you bottle up horrid insults and say nothing back to her.
She does. My ex even said I should call DeeFax (sp?) because she talks to all her kids like that. (excluding the cunt and whore part) but she uses a very angry mean tone whenever she talks to us. I'm 20, my twin is 20, my brother is 14, and my sister is 12.
I would call the Domestic Abuse hotline . Its for mostly women being abused by their partners but you can call and they can advise you to have a bag packed in case you have to go quick. Have a little money saved. Ect.
He's my ex, but there is no way I can move in with him. His parents don't really approve of me sleeping over let alone live with him again, I just found out.
My only option is to save money. As much as I need, that will take a few months.
No , you need to get out immediately. You can stay at the Domestic Shelter for free as long as it takes for you to get your own place.
I was there mostly for counseling and everyone was warm and friendly.
You will have many classes on how to deal with abuse. Call the Domestic Abuse hotline. They will even pick you up for free and you go to an undisclosed location and get some healing.
They even have attorneys there that work pro bono....
I haven't seen my mom all day. She's been at work.
My ex picked me up and I spent some time with him. He says that he never wants to deal with my mother, ever again. He thinks we shouldn't see each other anymore, until I get out. He apologizes for me getting the short end of the stick, but he says he can't handle the drama anymore, and when he's talking/seeing me he has to deal with it.
I respect his decision, but he has to realize that he is all that I have outside my family. And my family doesn't want anything to do with me. Then, now considering he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore probably after today, I feel all alone.
Damn Tab can't catch a break can you. This is the same Ex with benefits?
I seriously think sometimes you need to find another guy thats going to accept you for who you are without all the issues of your past ex's and just get laid prefleby if he has his own apartment/house too and you can move out.
Seriously though I'm not going to get into how I feel about your ex and your relationship with him over your family I've said I don't like it before but then the way your mum acts makes it clear why you will side with him over just about anythin. Honestly invest in a cell phone, if you do have one why are you not having him call over that why purposely have him call the house when you KNOW it's causing more drama?
As for the party, I dunno don't be so naive he probably was with another girl maybe he has a girlfriend now not that it's any of your business you both have your arrangements for hanging out and sex you can't expect him not to want you around his main friends sometimes since you are broken up etc. Or maybe he just wanted to pull a few chicks with the lads without you glaring.
I don't see why you both just don't get back together and have an open relationship (promise protection) problem solved then you can go stay with him again but not worry about issues that broke you up everyone gets what they want and your family can get back to their lives without the conflict.
Damn Tab can't catch a break can you. This is the same Ex with benefits?
I seriously think sometimes you need to find another guy thats going to accept you for who you are without all the issues of your past ex's and just get laid prefleby if he has his own apartment/house too and you can move out.
Seriously though I'm not going to get into how I feel about your ex and your relationship with him over your family I've said I don't like it before but then the way your mum acts makes it clear why you will side with him over just about anythin. Honestly invest in a cell phone, if you do have one why are you not having him call over that why purposely have him call the house when you KNOW it's causing more drama?
As for the party, I dunno don't be so naive he probably was with another girl maybe he has a girlfriend now not that it's any of your business you both have your arrangements for hanging out and sex you can't expect him not to want you around his main friends sometimes since you are broken up etc. Or maybe he just wanted to pull a few chicks with the lads without you glaring.
I don't see why you both just don't get back together and have an open relationship (promise protection) problem solved then you can go stay with him again but not worry about issues that broke you up everyone gets what they want and your family can get back to their lives without the conflict.
I don't have a cell phone, or I would make calls on there. I need to get a new one.
About us getting back together: he says that if it was another time and another place, it would have worked out. He also says that until I get out of my mothers, we shouldn't see each other.
But I asked him last night if he wants to move to Montana with me. He didn't say No. He said that is something he has to REALLY think about. If he didn't want to, wouldn't he just plainly say NO? He's leaving the option open, I guess.
I don't think getting back together will solve any conflict between my family. Us together and Us apart changed nothing about how my mom treats us.
Mary-I see him like every other day, or every other few days. But after Tuesday, I'm not so sure I'll be seeing him as much. It will probably go back to when we first broke up when I only saw him once a week, or once every 2 and a half weeks. That was rough.
I don't have a cell phone, or I would make calls on there. I need to get a new one.
About us getting back together: he says that if it was another time and another place, it would have worked out. He also says that until I get out of my mothers, we shouldn't see each other.
But I asked him last night if he wants to move to Montana with me. He didn't say No. He said that is something he has to REALLY think about. If he didn't want to, wouldn't he just plainly say NO? He's leaving the option open, I guess.
I don't think getting back together will solve any conflict between my family. Us together and Us apart changed nothing about how my mom treats us.
Mary-I see him like every other day, or every other few days. But after Tuesday, I'm not so sure I'll be seeing him as much. It will probably go back to when we first broke up when I only saw him once a week, or once every 2 and a half weeks. That was rough.
May I ask why you broke up ? Was it related to how your family treated him and / or you ?
There is more to the story and it will take me forever to post. But, there have been threats, cops, and so much drama. That's because of my family.
You see how this whole thing started was I was given a curfew. I was expected to be home between 12:30am and 1 am when I was out with my ex. I was usually a half hour late or so. Sometimes I did make curfew, but when I was out with my ex I just never wanted to go home.
So everyone in my family including my mom, cousin, and uncle had a problem with my ex boyfriend.
There is no way of getting around this and exploiting my ex but so you understand this better, let me explain Him. He is 25 years old, and is currently jobless. He lives at home with his mom and dad. He used to hook up my Uncle (the one mentioned above) with weed. That's how we met. He came over one day, when I was over my uncles cleaning house. My uncles ex invited me, and while my my uncle was at work, she was supposed to buy a bag off my ex. Well, while she was on the phone with him she said, "Hey you know____, Tabatha's single! She's 19. You should meet her" And BAm! That's how it all began with us. We hit it off since our first date.
Now, I was not involved in any drugs or alcohol at that point. I did try it later, which, it's not my fancy. And before anyone says "OMG! no wonder your mom never liked him, blah blah", My mom even before she met him, she already had made up her mind from what my uncle had told her about him. When she met him, and he shook her hand like a gentlemen, all she could say was "Oh so your the Brat that's keeping my daughter out!"
I know my exboyfriend tries to straighten up his life and do better. That's why he has been thinking about joining the army. I've never judged him for who he is, because unlike my mom and everyone else, I see potential for him to become better. Just last year he wrecked his parents car while driving intoxicated. He's done with his party years and is putting it past him. He's learned from his mistakes. It's just when people are so consumed in the party scene (which he has been since 12 years old), they get stuck in a rut. And I believe, that I was the one that made him realize he needs a push to accelerate in life.
So, it was little things like my ex recieving threatening voice messages from my uncle and cousin. Having the cops come escort me so I can get my things from my house without a fight. (which good thing because my uncle and cousin showed up and were about to hurt my ex, but thank goodness the cops siezed them). And then my mom would cuss and yell at him over the phone. Like she does now.
And then there was me. I was devastated and depressed. I cried all the time. I didn't want to leave his side. I didn't want to ever be around my family. I always wanted him to come pick me up or hang out with me everyday. So, he felt smothered. And I was clingy. That's my fault.
Those are the two reasons for the break-up-my family and how my family made me feel.
They've said, I've gotten to this point today, because I let it all go for him. I lost my job, lost my car, and lost my cell phone because of him. #1 I lost my job because I couldn't focus on work because of all the stuff happening around me. #2 I lost my Car and my phone because I couldn't afford them without my job. #3, If they would've been more supportive of me and didn't turn their backs and call me a traitor, then maybe things would've been better. I felt helpless. I couldn't understand why I was being treated like I was, when all I wanted to do was LOVE.
So that's why we are not together.
Last edited by Tabatha; 12th June 2008 at 11:22 AM.
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