I am 41 years old and I cannot remember crying more than 3 times since I was a little kid. In the last 2 months since the break up I have cried everyday. What the hell is wrong with me, I was just sitting here having breakfast and I started to tear up just thinking about her. I feel like a little wimp!! It has been long enough I should not be doing this, but I can't control it. being together for 8 years, maybe I am expecting too much. She must have really affected me more than I thought for me to cry so much. The pain from this break up is the worst pain I have ever felt. I am sure that the death of one close to me would be worse, but luckily that hasn't happened yet. I have had lots of break ups, but none did this to me. I also find that I cry watching movies more than I ever did before. That's about it, just a little speech about what a crybaby I am. Peace:
I am 41 years old and I cannot remember crying more than 3 times since I was a little kid. In the last 2 months since the break up I have cried everyday. What the hell is wrong with me, I was just sitting here having breakfast and I started to tear up just thinking about her. I feel like a little wimp!! It has been long enough I should not be doing this, but I can't control it. being together for 8 years, maybe I am expecting too much. She must have really affected me more than I thought for me to cry so much. The pain from this break up is the worst pain I have ever felt. I am sure that the death of one close to me would be worse, but luckily that hasn't happened yet. I have had lots of break ups, but none did this to me. I also find that I cry watching movies more than I ever did before. That's about it, just a little speech about what a crybaby I am. Peace:
Fox - nothing wrong with you at all. There is no 'right' period of time to get over someone - but you will. I have been a rollercoaster of emotions the past few weeks - one minute I'm happy, the next I feel a wave of emotions rush through me - and I feel powerless to stop them.
I am 41 years old and I cannot remember crying more than 3 times since I was a little kid. In the last 2 months since the break up I have cried everyday. What the hell is wrong with me, I was just sitting here having breakfast and I started to tear up just thinking about her. I feel like a little wimp!! It has been long enough I should not be doing this, but I can't control it. being together for 8 years, maybe I am expecting too much. She must have really affected me more than I thought for me to cry so much. The pain from this break up is the worst pain I have ever felt. I am sure that the death of one close to me would be worse, but luckily that hasn't happened yet. I have had lots of break ups, but none did this to me. I also find that I cry watching movies more than I ever did before. That's about it, just a little speech about what a crybaby I am. Peace:
Excuse me, but you are not a crybaby! Just imagine how much worse you would feel if you bottled it all up and didn't let it out? Small things make me cry, like noticing the wonky curtain pole he put up, or coming across a little note he had once left me, but it's got to be done. I once read that people average a month for each year together to get over a break up, obviously that is a gross generalisation but if you are only 2 months down the line then I reckon you are doing well Foxh.
As you mentioned, I have experienced the death of a boyfriend (not this time around, but many years ago), and as you said the pain is very bad, but also very different, as you know you will never see that person again. When we break up, we know that person is still around, and somehow that makes the grieving even harder, strange as that might sound.
You are doing well. I know this from the posts you have written. Like me, you are also doubting yourself each day, but that is ok too. We probably have a long way to go but at least we are trying.
You have to accept that you are at the moment in the darkest ditch and respect your outbursts and believe you will feel better. Learning to accept yourself at the weakest moment is generally the hardest but in this instance, it can only progress you in the process. Not accepting it will lead to more thoughts and in the end, you're not thinking enough about yourself. Give yourself some time to grieve. Or if you choose not to do it that way you can envision that women don't like grown men crying so man up, accept it, pick up your life again and full steam ahead. Most of the time, this is the only option when it gets too messy. Take it slowly, this cannot be rushed.
If you are a crybaby then I must be a Squall baby!!! What you are feeling my friend is true pain and it is hard to put a price on that!!! In a sense, losing the loved one like you have is worse than a family member (other than child, I would assume) and especially if it was the other party doing the dumping/ rejecting.
It is such a personal experience when it happens and you are always left asking if things could have been handled differently. Reading your post reminds me of my long journey of ups and downs with a certain person over the last couple of years and I was just like you. I would cry at the drop of the hat. It is a pain that is unlike no other!!!
Wish I had the words to help and I could always say you will be better in time, but I always HATED hearing that crap! What do you do in the meantime??? Wish I had that answer too.. Be well me friend and I am with you on your pain train.
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I once believed in you, I believed in us. You rushed to be with me and you rushed to leave me. Leaving me only with memories in between your rushes!
Actually the death of loved one is not worse. At least they died loving you.
When someone leaves you that hasn't died, you have to live with the fact that you've been rejected.
When my mom died, it hurt a lot less than when my ex left. At least I knew my mom loved me and though she isn't here anymore, I will carry that love the rest of my life. I had peace when she died.
Took me a long time to get over the ex. That is sad, but that was my experience.
Actually the death of loved one is not worse. At least they died loving you.
When someone leaves you that hasn't died, you have to live with the fact that you've been rejected.
When my mom died, it hurt a lot less than when my ex left. At least I knew my mom loved me and though she isn't here anymore, I will carry that love the rest of my life. I had peace when she died.
Took me a long time to get over the ex. That is sad, but that was my experience.
Actually the death of loved one is not worse. At least they died loving you.
Not sure if you misunderstood what I said. I said that losing a significant other is worse than a family member.
I lost my mother as well, and even though it hurt, it was nothing compared to losing the sig other.. As you eloquently put it, It is final and they loved you. It is just so damn personal when you are rejected by someone you shared such great things with.
"squall-baby" … I'll have to remember that one next time I get in one of those funky moods, sounds much better than "whiny kid"!
to the OP and others: Crying is good. It might be frustrating to have to deal with, esp. if you've been taught that you're weak to cry, but believe me, it's your body's way of dealing with the stress or high emotions surrounding an event. And it provides great catharsis, much like a soothing backrub to an overwrought infant who just can't get comfortable enough to sleep.
so don't ever look down on those tears – your mind and body are just dooing what they need to do to help you through this period, and soon enough, the tears will slow, then stop. Meanwhile, just let them fall as they may. It's really incredibly healthy.
__________________ The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
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