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Every so often, a poster will make a disclosure about being abused. In some cases, it's not clear how old those posters are. Potential repercussions of a disclosure being badly handled by the person/people it's made to: Recovery process being set back, confusion about whether the problem is serious enough to seek professional help for, increased anxiety about seeking professional help etc.
Has LS ever considered locking threads involving abuse disclosures (giving a brief but nicely worded explanation to the OP), and only unlocking them for responses that have been vetted (eg posts containing links or information about appropriate professional resources)?
I know something like that would be dependent on the availability of moderators/people alerting moderators to relevant posts. I'd be happy to hit the alert button on any posts I saw containing disclosures of abuse...and I'm sure there are plenty of other posters who feel the same way.
I agree that abuse is such a serious problem and certain people go in with advice without thinking for 2 minutes and this could cause the OP terrible anguish and possibly affect the rest of their life!
Every so often, a poster will make a disclosure about being abused. In some cases, it's not clear how old those posters are. Potential repercussions of a disclosure being badly handled by the person/people it's made to: Recovery process being set back, confusion about whether the problem is serious enough to seek professional help for, increased anxiety about seeking professional help etc.
Has LS ever considered locking threads involving abuse disclosures (giving a brief but nicely worded explanation to the OP), and only unlocking them for responses that have been vetted (eg posts containing links or information about appropriate professional resources)?
I know something like that would be dependent on the availability of moderators/people alerting moderators to relevant posts. I'd be happy to hit the alert button on any posts I saw containing disclosures of abuse...and I'm sure there are plenty of other posters who feel the same way.
I vote against this proposal due to lack of creativity.
I was thinking specifically of disclosures of child abuse which is a pretty tricky matter for anyone to deal with. I think that the abuse section is quite often used by people in domestic abuse situations who may well get some value out of supporting eachother - and to that extent it does serve a purpose. I think it's potentially harmful for threads containing initial disclosures to be kept open for anyone and everyone who feels like commenting to contribute to, however.
I was thinking specifically of disclosures of child abuse which is a pretty tricky matter for anyone to deal with. I think that the abuse section is quite often used by people in domestic abuse situations who may well get some value out of supporting eachother - and to that extent it does serve a purpose. I think it's potentially harmful for threads containing initial disclosures to be kept open for anyone and everyone who feels like commenting to contribute to, however.
I don't agree with the special characterization of child abuse. The repercussions you list seem likely to befall an adult victim as well. Furthermore, the support element may also benefit children. While the effects may be magnified in the case of children, it seems to logically follow that the magnification will be positive as well as negative.
Given the wealth of better online resources for abuse victims, the forum here will consistently do more harm than good. Do you disagree?
I don't agree with the special characterization of child abuse. The repercussions you list seem likely to befall an adult victim as well. Furthermore, the support element may also benefit children. While the effects may be magnified in the case of children, it seems to logically follow that the magnification will be positive as well as negative.
Given the wealth of better online resources for abuse victims, the forum here will consistently do more harm than good. Do you disagree?
My main concern regarding children would relate to a) their particular vulnerability and b) the Private Messaging system.
I think that posters here who have received therapy are in a fairly good position to encourage others not to be afraid of getting counselling.
The idea of seeing any kind of professional can be intimidating for some people. If talking to other people who have undergone therapy helps them to feel less daunted by the thought of going, then that's a potential benefit.
As far as whether the forum consistently does more harm than good in respect of abuse victims goes...I haven't used it in that context. Nor would I. If I found myself in an abusive situation, I'd be seeking professional advice. Chattering about romantic disappointments and workplace irritations is one thing, but anonymous or not I would not put an issue like abuse onto an Internet forum. Particularly not one which has strong social elements to it. I wouldn't relish revealing details of an abusive situation only to have it cast up at me in the Watercooler or the Rants section.
So I suppose that maybe answers the question of whether I think it does more harm than good....but someone who uses the site purely to discuss issues of abuse might see things differently.
My main concern regarding children would relate to a) their particular vulnerability and b) the Private Messaging system.
I said above that the vulnerability is a two-edged sword. You didn't seem to address that. Indicting the PM system means that you fear that LS is peppered with opportunistic pedophiles, correct? All this time I thought the populace here didn't know how to have fun, silly me.
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I think that posters here who have received therapy are in a fairly good position to encourage others not to be afraid of getting counselling.
The idea of seeing any kind of professional can be intimidating for some people. If talking to other people who have undergone therapy helps them to feel less daunted by the thought of going, then that's a potential benefit.
This is the most compelling argument I've yet heard for the presence of the abuse sub-forum.
I said above that the vulnerability is a two-edged sword. You didn't seem to address that.
I feel as though you're pulling me into a discussion about vulnerable adults, and I'm afraid of what might happen next.
Okay. Adults are vulnerable, but they're not usually naive and dependent on other people to the extent that children are. Children have had less time and experience to develop coping skills. I'd be worried about anyone making a message board disclosure that was likely to draw well-intended but potentially destructive responses, but I'd be especially worried in the case of a child.
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Indicting the PM system means that you fear that LS is peppered with opportunistic pedophiles, correct
I don't think it's a den of vice, but if Loveshack became a place where children felt encouraged to make disclosures of sexual abuse then I'm pretty sure it would draw a fair bit unhealthy interest. I worked on a helpline for a while, and we wasted vast amount of time dealing with obscene calls from twisted adults.
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All this time I thought the populace here didn't know how to have fun, silly me.
I knew you sounded oddly familiar...
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This is the most compelling argument I've yet heard for the presence of the abuse sub-forum.
Fear, low self-esteem, not knowing if one is right about wether it was really an illegal act..
If you're in an abusive relationship, chances are that you don't put much weight on your personal well being and don't have much trust in your own judgement. Some people need encouragement, some clarification.
I can understand why they come here. Many are so used to thinking that it's "their own fault" or are in real fear of their partners, that they need input from others to find the strength to go forward.
It is difficult for me to understand why people come to this site to disclose many illegal situations that should rightly be reported to police.
Police in some countries are badly trained, poorly resourced and riddled with their own prejudices, resulting in cases being turned away and "victims" told "it's not so bad" or "he's your husband, listen to him" or "your daddy wouldn't have to do that if you were better behaved".
From what I've read on LS, there has been the odd abuse thread where some of the advice has been jaw droppingly stupid and insensitive. I also vote for thread locking.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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