Short version of our history. She has a six month old daughter, and dumped her ex 6 weeks before meeting me. I fell for her fast and she seemed to fall for me as well. First month was great, then she became distant. That same time her ex started giving her problems over the custody agreement(there isn't one right now). HE found out about me around that time. She is also in the final couple weeks of the school semester and really stressed out about finals.
Even though her being distant put me on an emotional rollercoaster, I didn't say anything because I knew what she was going through, and I didn't want to push her. One night I called her and she blew me off. later that night she apologized and told me she was really upset after getting into another argument with the ex. I finally told her that she had been distant lately and I was feeling unwanted. She apologized and acknowledged it, and told me she loved me.
I began to mentally prepare myself for the inevitable based on the signs. 2 days later she tells me she isn't ready for a relationship, and that if she stays in one it is guaranteed to fail. So she just wants to be friends. I reacted to this very well in my opinion. I didn't cry, beg, or even try to talk to her out of it. I just told her I was disappointed, and that I understood. She then said that she really does want to be friends and hang out once a week, and maybe when things settled down.(ie custody issue is resolved, school is over, and gets a new job.) that we could maybe try again. In fact we are still going to a concert together in a couple weeks.
After doing some more thinking I sent her an email a couple days later. In the email I asked if she would be open to us being a little bit more than friends(friends with benefits). I didn't actually use that term in the email. I suggested that when we see each other once a week we could be more than friends, but keep it casual. No commitment, no expections, no drama, and nopressure. Just the two of us having fun and giving each other space the rest of the time.
She sent me a text later in day to say hello. I asked her what she thought about the email, and she responded that she didn't know yet. I told her that was fine, and to take her time.
I am wondering if anyone thinks this could actually work? provided I really do give her space when we are not hanging out. She seems to want to keep me around until things do settle down for her, and I have no desire to start dating other people.
Well you have made the 'offer' and now the ball is in her court. I would personally leave things be for a while, and not mention anything at all. Other than giving her the chance to miss you, im not sure what else you can do.
Peace
I guess I'm being hopeful since she hasn't said no. We're going to a concert together soon, and I'll try to gauge her level of affection at that time and may or may not ask if she has thought abou the offer.
I personally would not turn an ex that I want back, into a booty call. I think there's a very good possibility that she would want to keep you on that level, instead of taking things further.
Why is that a good possibility?? It's because I think you were her rebound boyfriend. The child is 6 months old.. and your ex with with her ex up until 6 weeks ago. If she asked for no committment, shes seeing where things stand her ex right now. She doesnt want the guilt of cheating, by staying with you.
I wouldnt waste my time with this one. Think about it.. a child is a lifelong bond. She has this bond with her ex, and they only broke up 4 months ago. She's has too much baggage.. and I also think she was on the rebound when you two hooked up.
You should be performing NC right now, and for a while.
I personally would not turn an ex that I want back, into a booty call. I think there's a very good possibility that she would want to keep you on that level, instead of taking things further.
Why is that a good possibility?? It's because I think you were her rebound boyfriend. The child is 6 months old.. and your ex with with her ex up until 6 weeks ago. If she asked for no committment, shes seeing where things stand her ex right now. She doesnt want the guilt of cheating, by staying with you.
I wouldnt waste my time with this one. Think about it.. a child is a lifelong bond. She has this bond with her ex, and they only broke up 4 months ago. She's has too much baggage.. and I also think she was on the rebound when you two hooked up.
You should be performing NC right now, and for a while.
Her previous ex is a nonfactor. He's had several chances, blew every one. She only gave him the last chance because her family pushed for it, and after seeing how he acted living in their house they no longer want him around.
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