[brokenhearted1988]

So i been dating this girl for 5 months. I was gone for about a month, but we still talked ont he phone everyday for like 2 hours+ she said she was starting to fall in love with me, and finally said she loved me. (and talking to her mom she told her mom the same things)

Well I finally came back, she hardly spent anytime with me. Even her mom noticed the distance. So i left the house without saying goodbye. She got upset didnt talk to me for a couple days. Then sent me a text message saying she doesnt love me, never did, she was just using me and isnt sorry for using me, and thought she would just treat me the same way every guy has treated her. That i'm a weird guy bla bla bla...... said i was too clingy (which i disagree... she was the one that called me 5-10x a day leaving messaged always texting/ IMing me saying she missed me loved me come home etc...) her "breakup" text message also said she didnt want a serious relationship and things went too fast (she was leading the relationship! she did all the firsts like i love u, etc. and she kept asking the serious questions). And she said she just wants to live life without worrying about another and would rather use guys and have sex rather than be in a deep loving relationship.....


Her mom was just as floored as me by this. Her mom told me she would talk about me all the time. She told her mom she was falling in love with me, and she really liked me. Her mom said she thinks she still likes me though. We do have SOOOO much in common. She said i must have scared her some how. It has been 2 more days. She called at 1:30am last night. She has been at her friends this whole week.... her mom thinks its more her friend rubbing off on her.... she left a message she sounded dead tired.. "Hi it's me, Reschelle say Hi... (her friend says hi)*giggle* I dont know why im leaving this on your voicemail.. I'm tired goodnight"

No sorry, no nothing... first contact in a couple days of silence after talking everyday for 5 months. I don't know what to make of it..... am I reading too much into it?

What should I make of this? Think she is missing me? Should I expect an apology or anything? What should I do. Should I expect further contact from her? What should I do.. I really do like her. She is 17, is this normal...

I dont know if she is full of crap... she changes her mind more than she changes her underwear... I dont know whats truth and whats lie cuz she goes back and forth back and forth on what she says.... or is this done? I mean why call me at 1:30 in the morning last night and leave a random voicemail... unless she was thinking about me?

[D-Lish]

Do you know what projecting is? It's when someone accuses others of doing/acting/being what they themselves are. It's a defense mechanism (Thank you Dr. Freud) that people use to deflect the blame from themselves onto others. I have met a few people like this.

What her behaviour tells me is that she has zero insight into herself.

She accuses you of all the things she is doing- and removes blame from herself in the process... ergo, making herself feel justified and better.

I am not sure of her age- she sounds very young and immature.

If you want my opinion, I'd pull a disappearing act on her. The crappy things she said to you about using you and never loving you are just plain unacceptable. I think you need to demand better for yourself from a potential partner.

In no way should you reward her behaviour by sticking around. People like her have a pattern of pushing and pulling- punishing, then reeling you back.

Don't be a puppet on her strings. She sounds quite wretchid the way you describe her. So, stand up for yourself and ignore her. I am not usually so quick to recommend someone break up with someone... but in this instance, I really do think you could do better.

[brokenhearted1988]

yeah i have pulled the disappearing act. I didn't see myself as "clingy" because I was letting her lead everything, and responding in kind. The relationship first started with me persuing her and then I started backing off, and she took over, the past several months I have hardly initiated phone calls, or text messages. She was leading all that. She was the first to say I'm falling in love with you, she was the first to say I love you. Maybe I did go a little overboard with love notes, but I thought its what she wanted because she always told me how much she loves my little notes and makes her feel special. Nothign extravagant. She said she loves sappy, etc...

Yeah young is a word, she is 17 and im 20. I've known her family for 10 years. But we never really talked much until the past 5 months.

So I pulled the dissappear act, I don't know why she REALLY called last night at 1:30... but maybe she stil has feelings.. who knows. It was the first contact she made in 2 days. Im still upset by all this.