[tommy4746]

Me and my ex broke up over 4 months ago since breaking up we had not spoke one word to each other and I did not intend to talk to her ever again.. about two months after breaking up I moved into a friends house, in this house there is me my friend and another person who is friends with my ex and his girlfriend who is also friend with my ex.. a few days ago me and the other person that lives in the house had an argument that turn physical, the night this happened I left the house to stay at my sisters to let things cool off..

it was around 4 or 5 in the morning when I got a phone call from my ex asking what had happened… she was very concerned and very supportive even to the point where she has fallen out with her friends for fighting with me.. She was very friendly and even started flirting with me at one point during the conversation.. I asked her why she was calling me after no contact for 4 months? and she said “she cared about me and didn’t like hearing about me getting into fights”.. I asked why she was taking my side over her friends? And she said “she has know me for longer and likes me more that them”..

the next day she texted me a few times asking about the situation in the house and asking how I was and how I was getting on, she also phoned and we had a chat for maybe a half hour about how things were going in general..

so since then this is what else has happened.. on Sunday night she sent me a text asking if I was out.. I sent her back a text saying “no.. why?” she text back “just asking. Just want to say hello. Miss you, as a friend maybe..” I replied “don’t worry about it, we mite end up being friends some day but not right now” she texted back “I want to be your friend and I really think we could. I miss you as my friend. I really do.. I can talk to you better than anyone!” I just replied “maybe some day who knows!”…

a few hours later she called me, and we were talking for a while then she started talking about us and what happen when we broke up.. she said she was sorry about the way she treated me before we broke up. She said that I was a good person and didn’t deserve to be treated the way she treated me.. she said again that she missed talking with me.. I asked her again why she would call me out of the blue after four months and she said that she really wanted to talk to me and when she heard about what happened with my house mate she saw an opportunity to get speaking to me.. I told her that I didn’t know if I wanted to be her friend but maybe some day I could and that I didn’t know if I wanted her in my life because I was getting on fine without her, I told her that she had burn a lot of brides with me and that it would be very hard for me to consider her as a friend after the disrespect she gave me while I was with her..

I don’t know what to make of all this, it is a bit confusing,, im not sure what her intentions are! Dos she want to be my friend? Or dos she want more? Your input on this would be very much appreciated,, thanx for reading and sorry it was so long!!!

[0hpenelope]

Originally Posted by tommy4746

“I want to be your friend and I really think we could. I miss you as my friend. I really do.. I can talk to you better than anyone!” I just replied “maybe some day who knows!”…

...
I told her that I didn’t know if I wanted to be her friend but maybe some day I could and that I didn’t know if I wanted her in my life because I was getting on fine without her, I told her that she had burn a lot of brides with me and that it would be very hard for me to consider her as a friend after the disrespect she gave me while I was with her..

I don’t know what to make of all this, it is a bit confusing,, im not sure what her intentions are! Dos she want to be my friend? Or dos she want more?

Bro, she told you herself. She wants to be your friend.

I cut your quote short because I also wanted to bring your focus to what you said. You are healing quite nicely and you know... if you're not ready to make nice, then you don't have to make nice. You've said it: you've been fine without her. You're getting on with life without her.

You sound like you know where you are and you're standing strong. Good for you! I'll get to where you are someday. So why are you so confused? Is it because in spite of the 4 months of no contact, you still want her back and a part of you is hoping for a reconciliation?

If the answer is "yes" to the 2nd question, then that changes things. But seriously, if you still know that you don't need her then keep moving along. She was concerned about your involvement in the fight. It's totally okay to acknowledge her concern with a "Thank you. I really appreciate it," and then leave it at that. It's been 4 months!

By the way, thanks for posting. It's adding support to my ongoing hypothesis that somehow, exes do come back when you're okay... when you least expect them to. Not in the way that some of us would hope for them to come back, but they do.

Anyone else?

[sultry33]

hi id say the same as above.. you seem to be doing really well, which is great.. gives us hope

you dont say what you want though?.. just what she wants or may want..

why would you not want friendship now? would you want more?
these questions can be asked.. but seriously its been 4months.. you have had no contact, do you now want more?

[tommy4746]

Originally Posted by sultry33

hi id say the same as above.. you seem to be doing really well, which is great.. gives us hope

you dont say what you want though?.. just what she wants or may want..

why would you not want friendship now? would you want more?
these questions can be asked.. but seriously its been 4months.. you have had no contact, do you now want more?

At the minute I don’t know what I want to happen, im still figuring that one out.. to be honest im still a bit angry with her for the way she treated me in the past so I don’t think being her friend is possible right now…

This mite sound a bit weird but what I want write now is for her to miss me,, I want her to realize what she has thrown away, I want her to really think about it and have a good look at herself and I want her to realize that there are consequences for her actions..

[0hpenelope]

Originally Posted by tommy4746

At the minute I don’t know what I want to happen, im still figuring that one out.. to be honest im still a bit angry with her for the way she treated me in the past so I don’t think being her friend is possible right now…

This mite sound a bit weird but what I want write now is for her to miss me,, I want her to realize what she has thrown away, I want her to really think about it and have a good look at herself and I want her to realize that there are consequences for her actions..

MM... Sounds normal to me.

I'm realizing that harboring bitterness or anger is not the way to live life. If negative things are what I reflect to the world, then I will receive in kind. I'm not going to say that I'm not guilty of wanting Lawrence to feel my absence.

Perhaps he is. Perhaps he's not. But my goal is going towards "Who cares?" So what if he feels either? He's a part of my past and his chapter in my life is closed. Do I entertain thoughts that he'll come back someday? Sure. Every day, I think about it.

I'm not as consumed by them anymore, though. Ignorance is bliss. Indifference, not lingering negative feelings, is my "goal." I'm slowly realizing that what upsets a lot of people is not so much having someone angry towards them, but that there is someone in this world who doesn't give a damn anymore when that someone used to.

Good luck with things, ok? If you decide that you want to give the friendship a shot, then that's just as awesome as you being strong without her. 4 months! Milestone!