[sultry33]

hi all, feel like a utter fool today..
he had to cancel seeing me yesterday as had to get his grandad from 200miles away.. got back late.. said sorry honey cant do tonightxxx said sorry again and that he see me next mon or tues..
and explained.. i really believed it..

i said ok damn done my hair.. but i asked if he could see me before next week.. then i ended it saying do you still want to see me?

he then said he would see if he could see me sunday.. would text last night or this morning.. well no text..

im not texting him i have had enough.. i need to know whats going on..
we was supoposed to be meeting to talk things over see where we go from here..

i thought my asking him direct he would just give me a straight answer!
i mean if he doesnt why the hell dont he just say.. no?

im really upset and wont be texting him again to find out..
any ideas?

[2sunny]

i think you got your answer. i'm sorry that he's being so evasive but to some folks that actually is their way of communicating.

move on and do something happy for yourself. i'm going to get a pedicure!

[sultry33]

Originally Posted by 2sunny

i think you got your answer. i'm sorry that he's being so evasive but to some folks that actually is their way of communicating.

move on and do something happy for yourself. i'm going to get a pedicure!

i just wish he would be more direct.. i ask direct question be nice to get direct reply.. like sorry no i dont want to see you.. not.. i see if i can see you sun instead of mon.. tuesday..

[Geishawhelk]

yeh but (*ducking behind wall for over-generalising!*) if guys find it hard to 'commit' in the first place, why would you think thyey'd be direct and straightforward with coming out with a definite...
It's putting him on the spot. it's backing him against the wall and asking him to make a definite decision, when he really doesn't feel like doing this at all... and he thinks by evading the question, at least he won't be hurting your feelings by coming straight out with it.... even though you might ask a direct question, he doesn't think a direct answer would be tactful....

His responses seem to be dripping with hints...

[sultry33]

he just texted and said sunday after 7pm....... omg nerves will set in but least i know now
thanks for advice though x

[Geishawhelk]

Oh dear.... this has got "I am a doormat" written all over it.....*sigh*

[9Lives]

Originally Posted by sultry33

he just texted and said sunday after 7pm....... omg nerves will set in but least i know now
thanks for advice though x

I been thru this before and all this does is build all kinds of anxiety in your stomach and f/ck up your sleep. NOT a good position to be in right now.

If I was you, if he does keep the date....I would not bring up the past. Let him do it. Just try to have a good time with him. You dont need to discuss the past right now. YOu need to see if you can get things back together first if that is what you want. He may be dredding talking to you because you want to have this serious talk. Please let him bring it up and dont get too deep. Guys hate that for some reason

[sultry33]

Originally Posted by 9Lives

I been thru this before and all this does is build all kinds of anxiety in your stomach and f/ck up your sleep. NOT a good position to be in right now.

If I was you, if he does keep the date....I would not bring up the past. Let him do it. Just try to have a good time with him. You dont need to discuss the past right now. YOu need to see if you can get things back together first if that is what you want. He may be dredding talking to you because you want to have this serious talk. Please let him bring it up and dont get too deep. Guys hate that for some reason

hi yes its totally like that, thats why need to see him, you know either it will work out or not, its the uncertainty thats doing me in..
last time we saw each other he did most of the talking, said he loved me etc
of course id be soooo happy if we could get through this, but i live on planet earth and know it could so easily be... thanks for my stuff.. goodbye

only time will tell.. im not a doormat though and i dont like to be portrayed that way when im seeking answers and help, please understand its the uncertaity not any other reason.. if its not crystal clear that its over then why not go for it.. my heart is telling me this and im not going mess with that..
if im wrong i will be strong and i will accept it.. x

[9Lives]

Originally Posted by sultry33

hi yes its totally like that, thats why need to see him, you know either it will work out or not, its the uncertainty thats doing me in..
last time we saw each other he did most of the talking, said he loved me etc
of course id be soooo happy if we could get through this, but i live on planet earth and know it could so easily be... thanks for my stuff.. goodbye

only time will tell.. im not a doormat though and i dont like to be portrayed that way when im seeking answers and help, please understand its the uncertaity not any other reason.. if its not crystal clear that its over then why not go for it.. my heart is telling me this and im not going mess with that..
if im wrong i will be strong and i will accept it.. x

Well it is good that you are not going to be a doormat. Let him show you were his mind is so you can know where you really stand. But actions speak louder than words too. So keep that in mind. We want what we want but if it is all talk.,,,,then it leads to hurt, pain, and disappointment

[LikeCharlotte]

Originally Posted by sultry33

hi yes its totally like that, thats why need to see him, you know either it will work out or not, its the uncertainty thats doing me in..
last time we saw each other he did most of the talking, said he loved me etc
of course id be soooo happy if we could get through this, but i live on planet earth and know it could so easily be... thanks for my stuff.. goodbye

only time will tell.. im not a doormat though and i dont like to be portrayed that way when im seeking answers and help, please understand its the uncertaity not any other reason.. if its not crystal clear that its over then why not go for it.. my heart is telling me this and im not going mess with that..
if im wrong i will be strong and i will accept it.. x

I went through something similar recently. When I knew he was ready to try to work things out I focused too much on what had gone wrong and how to fix it. This really screwed things up at a critical time. We were both so nervous that I think it made us argue more and no matter how nice the good times were he ran off like a scared rabbit. Keep your head. I'm glad you are ready to accept whatever happens. That was a big help to me at the time. Good luck.

[sultry33]

thanks lots x
really was worrying about it but im at the stage now where i just need to see him
talking will come if an when its needed , he knows me my body language like i know him so hopefully he be ok with me and vice verser
last time we met he said he felt like part of him was returning to me.. i just need to open the door a bit but not too much x

[9Lives]

Originally Posted by sultry33

thanks lots x
really was worrying about it but im at the stage now where i just need to see him
talking will come if an when its needed , he knows me my body language like i know him so hopefully he be ok with me and vice verser
last time we met he said he felt like part of him was returning to me.. i just need to open the door a bit but not too much x

If he starts coming to you...let him bring up serious talk...not you. Try to stay out the bed too unitl you know where his mind is.

[Grimreaper]

Originally Posted by LikeCharlotte

I went through something similar recently. When I knew he was ready to try to work things out I focused too much on what had gone wrong and how to fix it. This really screwed things up at a critical time. We were both so nervous that I think it made us argue more and no matter how nice the good times were he ran off like a scared rabbit. Keep your head. I'm glad you are ready to accept whatever happens. That was a big help to me at the time. Good luck.

you could still try and fix it you know

[sultry33]

update... still not sure whats going on here.. im not doing to well huh?

well he met me , i was very nervous and it was really doing me in that i was being that way around him.. maybe i was guarded.

i said to him about the dating sites and he replied that he had set them up in the month i was offline"to catch me out" bait or something he said... i asked why? he said watching his back.. confused. he knows i have high sex drive ... yea like im going do that!

i told him it was crazy as it made me mad and confused me..
after that we talked.. job stuff, he asked about the kids.. me etc..
told me about his workload.. as i said i thought he was avoiding me, but he said no im always straight with you.. i wouldnt lie..

anyway yes i did sleep with him.. im so damn horny and he knows it , yes its prob not the best idea but i miss the closeness and i know he does too.plus it does not feel wrong..

anyway normally he tells me he loves me misses me.. this time nothing
i didnt say it either.. i said goodbye.. went home.. was thinking maybe its over.. thinking.. thought i wont text him.. see what happens.. he then texted me saying he couldnt drive straight.. which made me laugh..
i texted back saying you seemed bit distant is all ok with u? us? he said lack sleep too much work..

im happy he texted me first.. bit worried about the lack of how he is feeling about me.. but i didnt want pressure him either.
im ok with this though not sad just still no nearer to knowing if we can be in a relationship without the living together.

12 days ago he texted saying he loved me still .. surely it cannot change that quick?

i feel it for him but damned if id say it x

[Geishawhelk]

Oh, the games people play now
Every night and everyday now
Never meanin' what they say now
Never sayin' what they mean....

While they while away the hours
In their ivory towers
Til they're covered up with flowers
In the back of a black limousine....

Oh, we made one another cry,
Break our hearts when we say goodbye
Cross our hearts and hope to die
"Except the other wasto blame....

either one of us could kill it
So we gaze and we make pretend
Thinkin' 'bout things that might have been
Oh, It's a dirty rotten shame....

Look around tell me what you see
What's happenin' to you and me
God grant me the serenity
To remember who I am............

Cause you're givin up your sanity
For your pride and your vanity
Turn your back on humanity
OW, When you don't give a damn....

Talking about you and me
And the games people play.....

Sums up your crazy mind right now.
What the heck you doing to yourself?
Do you have no pride? No dignity?
No self-respect?
get a grip.