I am at the final stages (hopefully) of my divorce. I was married for nearly seven years to a rotten woman with whom I wasted my 20's with. She cheated on me several times (both before and during our marriage), and she is a chronic cocaine user. I never used drugs (other than some pot in high school, but who hasn't), and I never cheated on her. I was always faithful. When I met her, I was 21 and had only been with a few other girls before her.
She was emotionally abusive throughout our relationship, and she would always make emasculating comments and remarks towards me. She even told my mother (just prior to our divorce) that I "wasn't exactly a rockstar in bed". She said this to my mother.
Anyway, here I am single again at the age of 30. Over the past few months, I've been dating this cute, sweet 19 year old girl. The age difference bothered me a bit at first, but after talking with a few of my buddies about it I'm ok with it now. There's just one problem...I can't function without Viagra. I mean I can, but it's just not the same (without going into detail). My soon to be ex wife has twisted my mind with the crap she said over the years.
The divorce was traumatic as well, so maybe that has something to do with it. She was cheating on me with a co-worker (she is an accountant and works long hours), and he moved into MY house not long after I moved out. Talk about a slap in the face. I haven't spoken to her in 6 months, and never plan to again. We don't have kids together, so what's the point? The lawyers are our only form of communication. She's been pretty greedy throughout the whole thing, and she's tried to milk me for everything she possibly can, but she's failed because my attorney is pretty good.
Back on track, what should I do? Maybe I should sue her ass for emotional abuse or something. I've seen a shrink and my doctor, and they both say I'll get better with time. No health problems, it's all in my head they say. All I know is that I had no problems in that department until all this went down. Aw hell.
I don't mean to come off sounding funny, but sometimes you just gotta laugh to keep your sanity. I just wondered if any of you men out there have had your manhood attacked and trampled on by common street trash like I have.
Maybe I should sue her ass for emotional abuse or something.
Well, perhaps you shouldn't have stuck it in her ass in the first place, butt what's done is done.
Just try to relax. I'm sure she will be understanding. The more you obsess about your problem, the bigger it will become. The more you obsess about your problem, the longer it will take to get your mojo back. Focus on your girl, and filter everything else out.
Nothing, but you have to ask yourself if you want a younger girl, because theyre less experienced and therefore less judgemental and you also have to wonder how long it will work out
I know where you're coming from though, I went through the exact same thing with an abusive gf
Forget her! She's just screwing with your head! That's what X's do, they know what buttons to push! They know how to hit you below the belt! And, that's what's she doing!
But to be honest? Most men don't really know how to satisfy a woman! For more info, you can PM me, but with that aside, look for book titled,
"How To Satisfy A Woman Everytime And Have Her Beg For More,.................."
It was written by a woman, and it describes sex from a woman's point of view. Its a quick read, and I applied its suggestions. Its not about what you've got, but how you use it! The author gets a little flakey on some subjects other than sex (smoking dope for example, and vitamins yada~yada)
After having read it, and applying its suggestions, my LTR GF told me as we broke up (Geographical Problems ~ LDR' etc) "Sex was never one of our problems!"
I've read "Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask?" and "The Senaouse Man" and even "The Senseaous Woman" along with other books, magazine articles, (Playboy, Penthouse,
Penthouse Fourmns, Maxium, Men's Health) and this one book was the best I've ever read that actually worked!
Again, the author can be and is a little "flakey"!
__________________
I may not be perfect! But, parts of me are pretty awesome, and I'm working on the rest!
What you should do is go on one of those cougar-date sites and find an significantly older woman looking for validation and then try and hve sex with her without viagra
Then when you can't function and she makes fun of you tell her that you just can't cope with her putrifying body
Then when you can't function and she makes fun of you tell her that you just can't cope with her putrifying body
Wow, B4R, I am sitting here aghast at the above statement.
Could someone ACTUALLY think this about a more "mature" woman? Yikes!!!
Makes me never want to have sex with the putrifying body of an older man - ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Truth be told, I was wondering where that godawful stench was coming from!!!!!! Now, I know!
I'll stick to the younger ones from now on!!!
__________________ I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. Voltaire
What you should do is go on one of those cougar-date sites and find an significantly older woman looking for validation and then try and hve sex with her without viagra
Then when you can't function and she makes fun of you tell her that you just can't cope with her putrifying body
Wow. Now THAT is offensive. I keep reading about the increased occurrence of eating disorders in middle-aged women. I believe that this sort of comment is a large part of the reason why.
There's this magical thing a woman has besides her body. It's called a brain. And it can be incredibly sexy. It might, in fact, be so sexy that a more self-aware man could deal with her "putrefying (<-- correct spelling) body." Imagine!
Oh come on you guys. The whole "putrifying body" statement is classic B4R - designed to incite strong emotions in whoever is willing to get their knickers in a twist. Chill out.
OP - how can your psych have told you "it will get better with time" and yet not offer you any type of treatment or talk therapy or something to help you? That seems a bit odd to me. But I can totally see a general practitioner telling you something like that as he hands you a script. Welcome to western medicine.
__________________
This is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet.
Oh come on you guys. The whole "putrifying body" statement is classic B4R - designed to incite strong emotions in whoever is willing to get their knickers in a twist. Chill out.
Agreed. Chilling out will decrease the rate of decay. Good call.
She didn't make you impotent.. come on now.. you made yourself impotent.. it is ridiculous and waaayyy too easy to put the fault on your ex..
You are probably NOT a rockstar in bed.. A LOT of men aren't...
I say keep on dating young girls who have no experience, it will make you feel better.. .. cause if you get an experienced woman.. you know...
Sorry dude.. I don't buy your story about being HER fault...
I agree with Lizzie to the extent that the "emasculating" ex is not a direct cause of your performance issues. A divorce is a traumatic life experience, and with the new GF it takes a while for all systems to get back on track.
Men are not machines, and you must find a new equilibrium before getting back into the game without a pharmaceutical assist.
Time and Viagra are both on your side.
__________________
Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
- Oscar Wilde
Oh come on you guys. The whole "putrifying body" statement is classic B4R - designed to incite strong emotions in whoever is willing to get their knickers in a twist. Chill out.
I certainly do apologize for the fact that I am a recovered anorexic working on a book and film about eating disorders and that I am dismayed when men say derogatory things about women's bodies! I sure wouldn't want to not be "chill" and deprive men of a chance to make fun of women! Perhaps I should introduce you to the 45-year-old woman I met at a treatment center a few weeks ago who weighed 80 pounds, and you could tell her to "chill out." You could also mention her "putrefying body" to her, I'm sure she wouldn't go starve herself into organ failure or anything non-chill like that.
Also? PutrEfying. If you guys have to make fun of women's bodies, for god's sake, at least learn to spell your insults correctly.
Last edited by sedgwick; 8th May 2008 at 10:10 AM.
Yes exactly, she made you impotent, it's all her fault. With her super-psychic powers she remote-controls your erection and forces you to go limp...
wtf?
Your experience might be traumatic and you suffered, but come on. Just because you can't handle your emotional trauma doesn't make her a malefactor, and I'm pretty sure she's not the (main) cause of your problems.
But of course it's easier just to blame her.
Last edited by snark_hunter; 8th May 2008 at 10:15 AM.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
