[sb129]

I have a friend who I have been friends with for nearly 8 years. we lived together back in our home country, and also here in the UK when we moved over here.

I moved to another town, and my friend, Amy, still lives in town B. I have moved again, to London. Whenever we see eachother its because I have travelled to town B.

Last year, she missed my birthday party, even though she was actually in London the day before it (no phone call). I did get an apology and an excuse a few months later, but she is one of those disorganised types who gets away with it because everyone allows them to, and TBH, the excuse wasn't good enough to me, but I didn't say anything at the time.

A few weeks ago, Amy calls me to say how sorry she is that she won't be able to come to my hen (bachelorette party) in July, or my wedding at the end of the year, but she would like to catch up before I leave London in July. I say that it won't be possible to go to town B again, because of money, but I know she comes here sometimes for work and maybe we could work around that.

I accept that alot of people won't be able to come to our wedding, its a long way away, and i am fine with that.

The weekend following the phone conversation, thanks to bl88dy Facebook, I find out Amy not only was in London (and very close to where I live) for the whole weekend, but also she must have known about it when we spoke on the phone because it was to meet with another friend from out of town. She didn't say a word, nor call me while she was here.

Sigh. I feel quite hurt about that, and also feel a bit like I am the only one putting any effort into our friendship.

I know that she can't come to our wedding, I am considering not sending her an invitation, and just letting contact die out from now, rather than tell her how I feel. I am trying not to take it personally (I have other friends who love me) but its hard.

Thoughts?

[Trialbyfire]

I'm sorry to hear this. I'll bet you make a wonderful friend.

Friendship survives with two-way input. I don't think you should bother sending her an invite and let this one die a natural death.

((hugs))

[Nemo]

I don't think you need "to go NC," because she doesn't seem to be contacting you. Sometimes people just grow apart, and things go from two-way to one-way. That's life, I'm afraid. One day you may be lucky enough to experience a three-way, and then you may find "healthy" two-ways to be quite bland. It's all about perspective.

[sb129]

Originally Posted by Nemo

I don't think you need "to go NC," because she doesn't seem to be contacting you. Sometimes people just grow apart, and things go from two-way to one-way. That's life, I'm afraid. One day you may be lucky enough to experience a three-way, and then you may find "healthy" two-ways to be quite bland. It's all about perspective.

You are right, although she was the one who called me a few weeks ago to say how sorry she was about everything.

"NC" is just the term du jour, you know what I mean cheeky.


Thanks TBF.

I think I will do just that. Telling her how I feel won't achieve anything but animosity, and I can't be bothered with all that.

[Nemo]

Originally Posted by sb129

"NC" is just the term du jour, you know what I mean cheeky.

I had absolutely no idea it was French. This site is so educational.

[Nemo]

Originally Posted by sb129

she was the one who called me a few weeks ago to say how sorry she was about everything.

Was she drunk? Then again, you don't have to be drunk for a wave of guilt to wash over you.

Do you have any mutual friends? Maybe she's just not into three-ways. The mind boggles.