Good memories that haunt you?

replicator · 6th May 2008, 8:08 PM

I traveled the world with my ex. We went everywhere. I have hundreds of pictures of us together. I don't know what to do with these memories. They were so good, but they are starting to haunt me. It is like a movie, and it plays in my mind. If I try to suppress it, it gets worse.

What do you guys do with the good memories of your ex, and you still love her? How do you move beyond that? I feel like I can never go to the places I've been with her because of all the emotions attached to them.

Keys · 6th May 2008, 8:27 PM

Our minds tend to focus on the good and forget the bad as time goes by.

Take a little time and think about the conflicts. It sounds odd, but it is just a reality check and it can do wonders when you start placing the relationship or your SO on an unrealistic pedestal.

sumdude · 6th May 2008, 11:24 PM

Know how you feel. I have a PC that hasn't really been turned on in a year. It has all the digital photos. All the other pictures are in a box in the basement. I had to put it all away. Not sure yet what to do with them. The memoeries are always there regardless.. They get triggered by all sorts of different things. Some folks move to a new town and keep away from places that remind them Whatever works for you. Over time it just gets easier to deal with.

hopeful26 · 8th May 2008, 5:25 PM

For a while I did think about the bad memories a lot and it sucked. Then I got real. What had I done to contribute to the problem? How could I avoid that in the future? I turned the bad memories into wisdom!

Good memories? Why suppress them? They're good memories! I take them at face value, nothing more. Smile and move on.

No I don't still love the X but I don't hate her either. She's essentially just a person in the world that I spent some time with. For what it's worth I did get rid of everything that reminded me of the X. What better way to start a new life than to start a new life?

sedgwick · 8th May 2008, 6:13 PM

I had such great conversations with my ex. We would sit up all night talking. I constantly want to tell him things and then remember I can't talk to him anymore. I miss him so much.

sumdude · 8th May 2008, 10:48 PM

Not quite there yet... but I think one of the milestones to recovery is when the good memories... don't hurt to think of anymore. You can remember them as they were... good memories without the pain of loss and what could have been.