In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
There is a girl at school who sits by me in a few classes. She is brilliant, athletic, and independent. I am rather smart too, but very quiet, as is she. I have had conversations with her throughout the year, and we get along well. I asked her to the prom (we're juniors). She said she wanted too, but was busy. I asked her if she wanted to hang out some other time, and she said yes and gave me her number. However, when I called her a few days later and asked her to the movies, she said she was to busy with stuff to start dating or have a boyfriend. That was two weeks ago, and I haven't said much to her since then. I know that she really was busy at prom, but did she just say yes to some other time out of politeness? Or was I being way to forward? I have never had a girlfriend before, and think I might have screwed this up bad.
Kapcamp, welcome to the beautiful engima called women.
It is very much possible that she probably was being nice and polite, and probably being new to the dating world herself, may feel embarassed or scared to say no. Or she just might be busy. I knew a girl who did a lot of school activites, studied, had dance recitals outside of school, and other things to occupy her time. That is a possibility too. I remember I asked a girl out in Jr. High to the prom, the situation was so similar to your's. She did not show up and I never got a chance to ask why.
And another thing that is now turning in our world, women are no longer like the women of old. Their lives aren't totally about men now. Not about them settling down with who and having kids and having the white picked fence. A lot of them are becoming their own bug slayers and finding having a great career replacing the castle in the sky dreams of old. Many are dating later in life and getting married and having children even later than that. And another thing, since you both are in school, she might be going off of her parents teachings that she does not need a boyfriend or be worrying about dating right now.
The only thing I can suggest is that don't approach her as a guy interested in her as a boyfriend or wanting a date. Approach her as a friend who just wants someone to hang out with. Try introducing her to your friends and you try to get to know hers and then just hang out. Don't pressure her to be your girlfriend or that you have a romantic interest. Let her come to discover these feelings of her own. But, at the same time, don't put all your eggs in one basket either, talk to other young ladies you may like and who knows, maybe you might find someone who is willing to date you and now you not only found a girlfriend, but you have also made a great friend too.
School is coming to an end in two or three weeks, which is mostly good, but could be bad. When summer comes, it will be much harder for me to contact her unless I call. The good part is, her excuse about being too busy with school ends. Should I ask her out again, or take Dark-N-Romantic's advice and just look for someone else?
BTW: When I called her last time, I sent her a text first and she didn't respond. She only answered when I called from a different phone. Don't know if this means anything. (I am so bad at this )
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
)
Linear Mode
