[ZenSilk]

I was wondering if some of you also know this feeling, fear of engulfment, fear of not being able to be yourself in a relationship. Every once in a while, I get pretty anxious about this. I've been single for a long time and in my last relationship I experienced this fear quite often. Somehow I'm extremely scared of ending up with someone, having a certain stability, but feeling trapped.

On the other hand, the idea of being alone doesn't appeal to me at all. I know I'm a worrier and I should just try to stay on a casual dating level with guys, without rushing into anything until I don't feel really fine about it. But many times, this fear blocks me even at the step of meeting new guys.

Does someone also know this feeling? Some thoughts on how to deal with it?

[Quidnunc]

Originally Posted by ZenSilk

I was wondering if some of you also know this feeling, fear of engulfment, fear of not being able to be yourself in a relationship. Every once in a while, I get pretty anxious about this. I've been single for a long time and in my last relationship I experienced this fear quite often. Somehow I'm extremely scared of ending up with someone, having a certain stability, but feeling trapped.

On the other hand, the idea of being alone doesn't appeal to me at all. I know I'm a worrier and I should just try to stay on a casual dating level with guys, without rushing into anything until I don't feel really fine about it. But many times, this fear blocks me even at the step of meeting new guys.

Does someone also know this feeling? Some thoughts on how to deal with it?

Ok. So I am really a new member here. Just joined today and this is my first post. Now back to the point - I guess I know what you are trying to say. I think it goes away with time and age. I dont know, maybe you are older than me but then maybe you are more reserved than me. I was never in a relationship but I know that earlier I always had the fear that I cannot remain myself if I get into one. But now I think that's what relationships are all about - learning from each other. So it's a part of it and not something to be feared. And when you really like someone it doesnt hurt. I am not telling to totally go out of your way -but slight change in your personality is nothing to be feared of. That's why it is said "we grow in a relationship."

Disclaimer: Never been in a relationship. So maybe I have a little rosy vision of things. But this is exactly what I believe and these are just my 2 cents.