Hello everyone, I have been browsing this site for quite some time now because my relationship had been on the rocks. I had been with my fiance for about two years now, and I thought things were going well for a while. Until recently when he moved in with me. I noticed that things were just not the same. I should have known that from the beginning. I was lied to. I was cheated on. I was made a fool of.
When my fiance and I first got together, I knew of his past. I knew he had two daughters, and from my understanding, knew he was married. We worked together and were friends for about two years, in which one of those he consistently showed signs of a crush. I ignored it, I figured..."just a married guy trying to have a fling". Eventually he got to me, and when he did, boy was I lied to. And I believed it too. He told me he had been divorced, and that he was only around for his daughters. I thought he was proving his commitment and devotion to me by spending a couple of days a week with me back then. Then we got serious, we pretty much spent every day together. I always had that insecurity and untrusting feeling in the back of my mind, but at the end of the day, I would say to myself "how can he possibly be with anyone but me, we spend every minute together". Just as I was being lied to, so was his WIFE. This is where it gets intense. I still can not believe the gall this guy had. We were about two days from getting married, (after my very low-income earning parents paid almost the entire bill for the wedding) and he became ill, and was hospitalized for an MS relapse. I know...the irony, but he really did become ill, because I was there when the doctors would practically dig into his feet with needles and he would feel nothing. Of course, the inevitable was bound to happen. The wife and the lover face-to-face. I was in complete shock. Half of me felt horrible for what this woman was feeling, and the other half just felt like a complete fool. Please don't get me wrong, I loved this man and still do...but I find myself incredibly strong today. Anyway, the wife asked in front of him and I "Choose now (blank), or you will never see me again". He just had a blank stare in his face the entire time, when he uttered to her "you are the mother of my children, and this is my fiancee (referring to me). I did not know how to feel. I knew I could not feel happy, because this is not the way a man is supposed to declare his love for a woman. Anyway...that was about two months ago, the point from which he obviously had nowhere else to go but my house. How could I say no? I had never been so in love with anyone in m entire life. I knew I was doing wrong, but I felt like I had no choice, although now I realize I did. The past two months were complete torture, he obviously missed his daughters like heck, and I'm sure he missed the life he lived with her as well. I don't think he thought he would ever have to make a choice. Anyway...today I came home and found exactly what I was dreading. The letter. Explaining himself and his actions towards me and our relationship. It's heartbreaking to even think of this, but that's just part of it. I think I already have gone through the worst, and I came out doing fine. I broke up today, and I am strong enough to write this. I feel blessed. It was painful enough not getting married the day I dreamt of my entire life, and I choose to only move up from here. Now I must deal with the fact that my parents lost about 30K and nothing can be returned. But as my mother says, my happiness is priceless. I just wanted to vent and share the sorrow and heartache I went through today on here. I hope someone is listening. I feel alone, but happy.
MM is finally out, and I am feeling alright
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