In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
i've only been with 1 girl and that wasn't even that long (~2 months) and i still think about her thinking what could have been.
i've been feeling so down lately because i just can't seem to attract girls. i don't know what it is, i try going out and have a good time but the biggest problem is that i don't have any friends who are girls so i'm always around guys.
this has become a big issue for me lately and is the only thing that i can concentrate on. i need someone in my life and i need someone now.
i have tried reading books on relationship/dating advice/meeting people but nothing is working, i just simply can't attract girls, hell i have a hard time starting a simple conversation with girls.
i need to fix up this area of my life, i have ignored it for far too long and it's been affecting my other parts of life, such as college/family/work.
every night i force myself to sleep just thinking that it's ok, someone will eventually come but if it hasn't happened yet it will not happen any time soon.
i just need some serious advice on how i go and start meeting girls, not just for finding a relationship but finding friends who are girls so i at least become more comfortable around them.
Listen, 21 is still young and you're doing fine. I didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 24. Conventional wisdom says that you have to be happy being by yourself before you should jump into a relationship. I wholeheartedly agree. Work on being happy with the rest of your life first.
In terms of finding someone once you're in a good place, if you're at university/college things should be relatively easy. Join a club, participate in campus activities, or anything else that involves other people. For meeting girls specifically maybe dance for instance. Even just studying in the library or on campus instead of going home for instance helps. It only really takes small steps to make a difference, so put yourself out there and gradually things will change. Take the initiative to make first contact every now and again, and it'll be better. Take a chance, and at least attempt to act confident. People will come to you.
Since you have guy friends maybe you could get them to introduce you to girls they know who might be single.
You're 21, don't take it so hard. I was a late bloomer and never really dated anyone until my early 20's where I met this girl in college. Though I think it might help if you got involved in certain activities where you're forced to socialize with people, becaues it really helps with the social skills. Perhaps join a club or hit the gym...gyms are ok places to meet others, you see them on a regular basis and can even strike up a convo.
I don't know, I've never bought the idea of the gym as a social place. Sure you'd recognize people and they'd recognize you but apart from my gym buddy, it's pretty much everyone minds their own business from where I stand.
I agree with prideandcourage on university being a good place. In addition to what he said, I'll throw in girls from class as potential dates because I'm currently on the hunt for someone from my class.
Hmm. ok. So I am 23 and guess what - we look eye to eye. It's the same case with me. It's affecting other parts of my life just like you bud. I guess only thing to do is wait.
Hmm. ok. So I am 23 and guess what - we look eye to eye. It's the same case with me. It's affecting other parts of my life just like you bud. I guess only thing to do is wait.
i don't know about you, but i'm definately NOT going to wait any longer into finding someone.
i have decided to take action and just ****ing go for it.
i'm sick and tired of this lonely life and dammit i'm gonna make it happen.
findingsomeone... relax! Your world isn't gonna cave in if you don't meet that certain someone.
A watched pot never boils. Get busy with your life and your interests. Try not to think about it so much, and like the old saying goes, when you least expect it, or aren't looking for it, love will find you.
You'll be much more prepared for it, if you were trying to have a happy fulfilled life without a girlfriend.
I've been in your shoes plenty of times. I thought I really needed a girlfriend to round out my life. I think it's great to have a companion, but you need to take care of yourself first and be happy before that certain someone does come along.
It will happen. Maybe not as soon as you like, but it will. You'll have to trust me on that one.
__________________ "How could this love, ever turning, never turn it's eye on me.
How could this love, ever changing, never change the way I feel."
findingsomeone... relax! Your world isn't gonna cave in if you don't meet that certain someone.
A watched pot never boils. Get busy with your life and your interests. Try not to think about it so much, and like the old saying goes, when you least expect it, or aren't looking for it, love will find you.
You'll be much more prepared for it, if you were trying to have a happy fulfilled life without a girlfriend.
I've been in your shoes plenty of times. I thought I really needed a girlfriend to round out my life. I think it's great to have a companion, but you need to take care of yourself first and be happy before that certain someone does come along.
It will happen. Maybe not as soon as you like, but it will. You'll have to trust me on that one.
no. no more waiting for me.
i can't take waiting anymore.
i'm going to pursue this to the best i can and make it happen.
i can't go on living like this anymore, i don't want to be lonely anymore.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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