[SixthSt.Girl]

This is a little long, but I really need some advice! I started working with this new guy at work, "Reem" on a project during Christmas time. We work at a college library. I thought he was attractive, but didn't get any vibes from him. Found out he's married anyway. When we got into our regular schedules after Christmas I didn't see him as much, though sometimes he'd come in during my shift (I worked evenings) and stay till the end. Then he'd come up and talk to me and walk with me to my car. I noticed him starting to get more touchy w/me, giving me a lil squeeze or pat on my back. One day he asked what do I like to do in my spare time and where do I like to go out to? He said he doesn't see me out and I replied that i'm not much of a bar person and I've lost contact with most of my friends in town (I moved away for 2 years to attend a school program). He drops it but brings up a few other times that I should go out more. A few of our co-workers regularly go out together (including Reem), tho I don't work the same shifts as most of them and don't really know them.

One night he says, why don't you go out with us, and I finally say, pick a place and I'll go. He says ok, I'll have to think of a good place cause I know you said you're not into crowds. A new guy, "Sam," had
started working on my shift. It's just the two of us running the front desk in the evening. Sam is, well, a jerk. He's 20, immature, always joking around. He butts in our conversation and tells Reem: you’re married, you should be home, blah, blah, blah. Reem ignores him. I didn't feel like Reem was asking me on a date, plus, I was half-joking when I replied. I don't know his friends well and have reservations about going out with them, though I would like to go out and socialize more. I like Reem's company and don't want to act put off.

The next two work nights, when Reem came in, Sam got foolish acting looking at me with this silly look on his face, basically trying to embarrass me. He brings Reem to the desk and whispers to him looking over at me, acting like he's talking about me. This of course makes me paranoid though it turned out he wasn't talking about me at all. The second night (which was the Thurs. before last) Sam was getting on my last nerve. Tues. we'd gotten into a convo about careers, and I said something like I don't see life and things like careers and wealth as significant compared to Afterlife; I try to be a good person and think people get too carried away about life when stuff like jobs makes no difference in the end. Sam goes off the wall and takes it as I'm suicidal and he fears for my life. He even brings our boss out (who used to be a psychologist) and says he should have a talk with me. I get that this is joking, but his joking often goes too far IMO. I am really put off by this and angry the whole evening. He didn't even give me a chance to explain fully. Later he said that he understood what I was saying.

The next worknight, Th., I'm still mad about Tues. I'm afraid for some reason Sam will tell Reem and/or others about our conversation (his interpretation of course). He again brings Reem to the desk and starts whispering. I walk over purposefully, work w/the copier, and join them. I doubt they were saying anything about me but I noticed Reem was a little quieter and almost avoiding me. After Reem left, I could barely hold in my emotions any longer. I typically get along with everyone, and hate conflict. But I've been esp. stressed out lately and Sam's behavior was the last straw. I've never worked with someone so immature - he knew I was feeling uncomfy w/the situation with Reem, and plus, what kind of person jokes about suicide? There've been a few suicides in my family so it's a touchy subject. I faked a stomachache and went home.

I think my boss knew something was up because I'm not a good liar, and
was near tears that night. I emailed him and let him knew Sam offended me. I'm not the first person that he's seriously offended, either (the help desk lady won't come near the front desk anymore because Sam offended her) and I thought he should know what's happening. My boss responded by changing my hours to the weekends, so now I'm losing a day's worth of work. I should be relieved not having to work w/Sam. This job really isn't that important to me. It's just something to get started as when I came back to my hometown, it was hard to find work. I've been ready to move onto something else for awhile now. I feel better about working weekends, but everyone clears out then - I haven't seen Reem this week. I know he must be wondering what's going on. I leave sick, then my hours change. I've asked myself if I'm interested in Reem, but I think it's more like I'm vulnerable and have come to care about him. I miss talking to him already. I worry that Sam has given his own rendition of events and Reem will think I'm crazy or have health issues. I like him and care about his opinion of me. I rarely go to the library on my days off but I've been thinking about stopping in during Reem's shift - I have stuff to print off anyway (employees get free copies). Or should I just forget about it. I mean, he could've come in on Friday since he's got to know I'm working weekends now. Sorry this is so long. I’m just bummin over this, and don't have many people I'm comfy talking about it with.

[Dark-N-Romantic]

While I agree you need to be away from Sam (and you should of brought Reem and the help desk woman to the office with you and maybe Sam would of been the one with the schedule change. But, I think Sam is right about Reem. Especially with the feelings you are claiming to feel. Why wasn't Reem going home to his wife at night? This night he was inviting you out, was it with co-workers or his friends? And was his wife invited? So, be careful with Reem or you might end up posting in the Other Woman/Other Man threads.

You claim you believe in the afterlife...What is your feelings and beliefs on
and forgetting? Are you willing to forgive Sam for his cruelty and forget his wrongs? It does not mean you have to be friends with him or do it for him, no this should be done for yourself and your own spirit's happiness.


DNR

I hope this helps.

[SixthSt.Girl]

Well, I went into the library last week (I actually typed my initial post last week, but didn't post it on this message board till now, so it's been almost 3 weeks since the incident happened). but I think it was too early cause I didn't see him. Then today I went in during what I thought was the middle of his shift, but he must've changed his hours because the girls who had work the shift before his were at the desk. I've thought about emailing him, but does that look too forward? I did see him Friday, but he was on his cell phone going into the break room to check his schedule. He ran in ran out, then was gone. He walked right past me - I looked his way and smiled, but it was like he didn't see me. He was really focused on what he was doing. I don't know why I care about this so much or why I feel the need to contact him, but I do. Sigh.

I think Reem meant that we'd go as a group. From what he's said, he mainly goes out with this group of people that works at the library. I don't know. He just said he would get back to me because he needs to find a lower-key place than they usually go since I'd said earlier that I don't like crowds. But, I've not heard from him. So maybe I should just drop it. I don't know. I'm thinking about sending him an email, but I'm not sure what to say.