I am 44, have 3 kids ages 12, 13, 16. I know that I do not want to be married to my H anymore and am in the process of the seperation/divorce. But I don't really want to be a single person, I really hope to someday find a compatable peron to share my life with. But part of me panics and feels like just living in a bad situation because I feel like it's too late for me to find love again. Where and how?Its not like I am going to wear a billboard or anything saying "I am looking for Mr. Right" because I know if it happens, it will probably happen when I least expect it. I am not afraid to be alone. I am just tired of being lonely. There are literally no singles groups in my area (I have looked).
I am energetic, relatively attractive (I am no frump for sure), I am what you might call "a hip mom". How do I keep the faith?
The key is to stay calm and not panic. There are many, many men out there who would love you and/or at least be a great companion. To the extent that you can be cool and wait for that special person to come into your life is the possibility that it will happen sooner than later. Your job is simply not to worry about it.
I am 44, have 3 kids ages 12, 13, 16. I know that I do not want to be married to my H anymore and am in the process of the seperation/divorce. But I don't really want to be a single person, I really hope to someday find a compatable peron to share my life with. But part of me panics and feels like just living in a bad situation because I feel like it's too late for me to find love again. Where and how?Its not like I am going to wear a billboard or anything saying "I am looking for Mr. Right" because I know if it happens, it will probably happen when I least expect it. I am not afraid to be alone. I am just tired of being lonely. There are literally no singles groups in my area (I have looked).
I am energetic, relatively attractive (I am no frump for sure), I am what you might call "a hip mom". How do I keep the faith?
Don't rush.. Take your time.. Take care of yourself first..
You might looove your single life.. it might take a few years then BAM!!! you don't want anyone anymore in your life.. it happens to me.. and trust me I've never been happier..
Why settle for one man when you can have more than one.. hihihi.. I know it's not for everyone.. but trust me.. enjoy your single life FIRST!
Good luck!
__________________ "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." -- Groucho Marx
How can I enjoy my single life when I have no where to go and nothing to do??? All my friends are married. Besides, I have been "single" --at least in every sense of the word except for legally, for the past 10 years or more.
When I was going through my divorce at 33, I felt the same way you did! I know, it sounds a little silly now but I think that feeling of "it's too late for me!" is a common reaction.
I found a place of my own, decorated the way I wanted it and the very first night when the heat went out and I had to handle it, I bawled because my husband wasn't there to take care of it. So, I made the call and got it fixed in the next hour. As silly as it sounds, that little thing was a victory for me. It was only then that I realized my ex-husband was actually worthless in situations like that anyway - I always had to step up and get things done!
Every little step such as that example helped build my confidence back up. It won't happen instantaneously, and your doubts will come and go, but ultimately you are in charge of your life. As the journey progresses you will become amazed by your strength.
Right now you just have to blindly believe that it's in there. And it is. Once you have it, then you will begin to attract the type of man who will ultimately benefit your life.
How can I enjoy my single life when I have no where to go and nothing to do??? All my friends are married. Besides, I have been "single" --at least in every sense of the word except for legally, for the past 10 years or more.
Hundreds of guys read this as you're sex starved, and will go to great lengths to date you, if you're in decent shape.
__________________ -Gold Pile. An honest man with an honest plan-
Hundreds of guys read this as you're sex starved, and will go to great lengths to date you, if you're in decent shape.
LOL---hm...ok, let me just say this:
Firstly- I am sex starved. Ok? There is no denying it. What can I say. Not only have I not HAD sex in months and months, I haven't had GOOD sex in years and years!! LOL. However, this does not mean I am "out for sex"....on the contrary.
I am in decent shape, I work out, slim but curvy, take care of myself, chic hairstyle....but geeze, when you are over 40 , you do what you can to keep up, right???? I bust my ass to look attractive!!! LOL
It would be great if guys would go to great lengths to date me--- the only problem is that I don't know where to find these guys---ANY guys!!!! Seriously!!!!! I don't work with any males, all my freinds are married, there are NO singles groups here- not even thru my huge church (wherein all the guys are either married or huge dorks anyway)...WTH??? (that means "what the heck? I hate the term WTF like everyone else puts! I'm no prude but I am not crude!)
Do you mind dating younger men? Most men around your age are taken so that leaves the younger men...
My mother's best friend got out of her 15 year marriage last year. She's 48 and she was scared of 'going out there'. Her sister registered her on a dating site (it's something out of a scene from Because I Said So ) and she's been hit left, right, top and bottom now. She's enjoying it... you might want to try that but online dating isn't for everyone. The reason she went along with it was because she wasn't confident enough about going out alone. She met other women who are in her shoes and they go out together every week.
__________________
I'm a live wire, I'm a live wire, I'm a live wire
Gonna set this town on fire
I think the woman has the upper hand when it comes to dating, guys are suckers!!!!
I don't know your situation but I agree with the others, take your time & enjoy being single.
So most your friends are married, but they probably know of single guys or they know someone that knows someone.
I would think your church would have some type of a program & if not maybe you could start one up, it would also give you something to do.
this will give you time to start looking outside that box you have lived in, start trying new things, new hobbies.
I am married but I like meeting new people & this year I started riding a road bicycle for example & I've met a lot of nice people. In fact June I am doing a century ride & they capped the entry at 7,000 people so I should be able to meet some new people there.
Maybe you can go check out a town that is close to you that might have different types of activities.
Just some suggestions, that's all.
It sounds like you enjoy taking care of yourself so I wouldn't think you would have any trouble down the road getting a few dates. Just get over the separation/divorce & get that behind you & then move forward.
__________________ If you can't be happy with yourself, you won't be able to show and share that happiness to others.
How can I enjoy my single life when I have no where to go and nothing to do??? All my friends are married. Besides, I have been "single" --at least in every sense of the word except for legally, for the past 10 years or more.
Whooaaa.. hold on a minute.. you were NOT single for the last 10 years.. you were a 'slave to love' (song).. this the 'opposite' of being single..
Nowhere to go.. nothing to do????? woman.. you need a life..
My 'bestest' friend is married.. that has nothing to do.. you won't lose your friends once you become single.. unless they're not 'real' friends.. then if they're not.. you don't need them.
[quote=Lizzie60;1634507]Whooaaa.. hold on a minute.. you were NOT single for the last 10 years.. you were a 'slave to love' (song).. this the 'opposite' of being single..
Nowhere to go.. nothing to do????? woman.. you need a life..
yes, I know I need a life...thats why I am asking for suggestions on how to get one. And honestly, I know I wasn't "single" in the legal sense of the word- and if no one knows where I am coming from, well....BUT I was living w "single" life, without the benefits. I was as lonely as I would have been had I been alone. I was not living in a "marital" relationship- even though I was legally married. I was "single" in my heart and in my mind because I did not have love, I did not have companionship, I did not have a connection or chemistry with anyone.
Thats what I meant.
Whooaaa.. hold on a minute.. you were NOT single for the last 10 years.. you were a 'slave to love' (song).. this the 'opposite' of being single..
Nowhere to go.. nothing to do????? woman.. you need a life..
yes, I know I need a life...thats why I am asking for suggestions on how to get one. And honestly, I know I wasn't "single" in the legal sense of the word- and if no one knows where I am coming from, well....BUT I was living w "single" life, without the benefits. I was as lonely as I would have been had I been alone. I was not living in a "marital" relationship- even though I was legally married. I was "single" in my heart and in my mind because I did not have love, I did not have companionship, I did not have a connection or chemistry with anyone.
Thats what I meant.
Yse I know what you meant.. been there.. but this time it WILL be different.. you will be able to do whatever you want, when you want.. with all the benefits of being single..
First, you need some time to sort things out in your life.. divorce, kids, etc... then and only THEN you can start to really feel the 'freedom'..
Classes are a good places, stores, any public places.. transits.. they are everywhere..
Don't be afraid to do the first steps.. prepare yourself mentally to do the first steps.. when you see a potential 'friend'..
Take care of yourself.. pamper yourself.. get new clothes, make-up, hair, etc.. that will build your self-esteem..
Go out to the gym.. that does wonders.. for your mental health as well as keeping you in shape.
You'll do fine.. you're not the first, and won't be the last.. Good luck..
I'll be 43 soon. I have no children and am on my own for the very first time in my life. I'm loving it!! It is taking some time to stop my mental boundaries from reigning me in such as I "must" be home at a certain time or that I "must" do something simply to please someone else or keep the peace. I'm constantly questioning my motives in order to identify who *I* am. I'm not interested in anyone else right now, I'm too busy getting to know me.
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"It's never too late to be who you might have been."
-- George Eliot
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) and she's been hit left, right, top and bottom now. She's enjoying it... you might want to try that but online dating isn't for everyone. The reason she went along with it was because she wasn't confident enough about going out alone. She met other women who are in her shoes and they go out together every week.
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