In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
Wrong to not be interested because of attractiveness?
i always wondered if a guy really clicked and got along well with a girl but the guy didn't want to date a girl because he wasn't attracted to her, would this be wrong?
__________________ Your Straight Edge Canadian Boy
"You're the reason I live, You're the reason I die, You're the reason I give, When I break down and cry, Don't need no reason why "
Everyone is free to date whom they want. There's no rules or laws stipulating that you have to date someone because of x reason(s). At least not in the US.
It's not your responsibility. If you want to be kind, better to shut her down sooner, rather than later. There are ways to do this kindly. Sometimes kindness doesn't work and you have to be cruel.
It's not your responsibility. If you want to be kind, better to shut her down sooner, rather than later. There are ways to do this kindly. Sometimes kindness doesn't work and you have to be cruel.
kinda hard to still be a person's friend if that were to happen
OP, advise your "friend" that, if he's feeling "weird" about this girl liking him to be straight up with her. I've only had this feeling a couple times and it's like she's my sister (don't have one) or something, even if she's objectively beautiful. Most of the time it has been mutual (she wasn't attracted to me either so we were just platonic friends). Honesty is the best policy. "You're a lovely woman but I just don't feel romantic chemistry with you. I hope you'll understand". Then, take the whack across the face, look sad and mope off....
Last edited by carhill; 25th April 2008 at 8:39 PM.
I think all of us had. Forgive me big beautiful people, I have and do talk to women of all kind, and a lot of the sweetest most awesome to me were heavier set women (maybe the feel the need to be less judgemental about people because they know how it feels to be wrongly judged). However, they may have been attractive to me and beautiful inside and out, the fact that I have no sexual attraction to bigger women. And sometimes it is ashame because I have met some that I could fully go for. And I feel it would be wrong and a bad way try and get my lady love to fall for me. And who am I to request them to try and lose weight if they are comfortable with who they are? So, I give them that respect and just be friends with them and make sure we keep it that way.
DNR
Sometimes the hardest thing is to respect other's rights and beliefs when you think only if I can get them to change to my desires I can make them happy. But, that is how you can tell if someone truly loves you.
I was in love with someone I wasn't all that attracted to. It can happen.
I think her aura, and spunk.. and ability to talk about anything, and her sexual prowess.. amongst many other things made her more attractive than looks alone.
It was a LDR. We met online. I seriously doubt that if I just met her on the street, or in some bar without ever talking to her first, I would have passed her up.
The ironic thing about all this, is that she dumped me so she could date other guys I guess. I'm still not sure of the reason. I thought I was a good catch. Handsome, loyal, caring, honest etc.
Oh well, her loss
__________________ "How could this love, ever turning, never turn it's eye on me.
How could this love, ever changing, never change the way I feel."
i always wondered if a guy really clicked and got along well with a girl but the guy didn't want to date a girl because he wasn't attracted to her, would this be wrong?
You'll find that you'll still be drawn to their personality like in motive2002's post.
To answer your question, I personally don't think there's anything wrong. I mean, if I was to get a girl, I'd like to have one who is a good person but I'm not gonna go "looks don't matter at all".
i always wondered if a guy really clicked and got along well with a girl but the guy didn't want to date a girl because he wasn't attracted to her, would this be wrong?
No. I used to think so, and I've now been married for over 12 years. I've come to the conclusion that if the sexual spark is not there for you early, it's not going to develop over time. While it's great if you click on a companionship level early as we did, it won't translate into a good LTR (at least for you) if that's all you feel.
Agreed with the above post, you should only pursue a relationship with someone if you click sexually and on a more deeper level, otherwise its doomed to fail for the most part. I have found girls super attractive, only to find them painfully boring and I've met unattractive with great personalities.
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